Life & Death & Life

My beloved husband, Bill Irwin, passed away on August 17th.  He is greatly missed.

Here is a link to his obituary: https://www.williamsthomasfuneralhome.com/obituaries/william-bill-irwin-4

I have no words...just a thankfulness for the life we shared and the blessing of being Bill Irwin's wife.  

"I love you Bill, always and forever!"

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Congrats to Spain

 

over the night's course.In today's final round game, played in New Jersey, The Spsin nationl soccer team w on over  Argentina 1-0 in extra time to claim the 2026 WorldCup title. again, congrats to Spain...

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rock-running

 10:30...

Happy Independence Day

 Happy Independence Day..

I Have Had itwirhdefectiveomputerSoftware and Hardware

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MY TOp 3 Songsof June 2,2026

         BEETHOVEN: 7th SYMPHONY

         2-The Smiths:How Soon Is Now? 

         3-BEETHOVEN:Fifth SYMPHONY

                                

Medical emergINCIes bring on on rrehab stretch

 Melissa a I expi2ncd a diffiult 2-week stretcha UF Helath rh paten, wih our eating and bathoom acti carefully monitored n contollloed t lest until our release Saturday morning. Preced thiw I hd  bd hit th hard  dining room floo no-fir(wih profuse bleedin0 I thn n ino two dp gGrand ML EPileptic seiures, bin on the hospital trip befoere our admission there.motre bou ho UHealth Rehb went fo an oou optct n  later article...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   m l                                           lth R                                                                              l                                                                                                                    ,sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Close Call With Kitchen Floor Gives Me Pause

 Early in the Morning od Jun e 11th, on which my late mother would be turning 86, while chasing down a roach before heading to the back of the house,, I lost my balance and collided, nose-first, with the hard kitchen floor. At first I was convinced that a tooth had been broken, but the effect was to violenty twist the cartilage of my nose, bringing on some scary, acute nosebleed before the needed clotting set in. Melissa quickly drove my sorry ass down to the UFHealh Emergency room on  NW 39th Avenue.    After my session there, I returned home and slept off the rest o the morning, grateful to God for His divine protection during that time of my personal foolishness that I hope I learned something important from.  The rest of the day saw me being much more careful with my movements while honoring my wonderful mother's memory..Now onward to June 12th..    

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Beethoven"s 2 Symphonic Masterpieces 'Floored" Me

 Today I have listened through two diffrent, complete YouTub presentations to ludwig van Beethoven's 7th and 8th  Symphonies which he composed in 1811 and 1812..some 15 yearsbefore h prematurely succumbed to illness in 1827, only 5ee6 years old.  He had severe alcohol-induced liver disease and lea poisoning. when he died on March 17,1827.Whil not officially credited with being born on December 16rh,1770, hi birthday was faithfully celebrated through his lifetim onthat date.Hence little Schroeder ofPeanuts would make a point o wishing everyone a happy Beethiven's Birthday fo December 16th. KNown for rhhisshort temper andsocial awkwardness, hi music'squality fo me ...wespecially the nine symphonies...were by far his greatest creations.  The Seventh Symphony is one of my all-time favorite classical music pieces. At 41-plus minutes in length,whene I first heard it a couple of days ago, i was stunned myself by how deeply 2emotionally compelling it is: Ican't get enough of it!If you go out toYouTube, y can hear just about anything Beethoven did..or the works any other notable musical artists.  Of course, you'll probably have a nice picture or video to look at while listening...

Still Weak But Feeling Better

 While avoiding attempting further physically depleting workouts like in recent days, I find myself today feeling a little better...but just as weak as before.  the medicine I'm taking to lower my blood pressure seems to be working.  I am now ready to call it a day and lie down on the couch and watch some TV. Earlier on I heard Beethoven' s 7th Symphony and really liked it. It's now one of my favorites.  To all, sleep well tonight...

Walking Progress Seems Absent, Even Reversing

 This morning, amidst the high humidity and stifling heat, I got up and steadfastly took a painful walk/run around my .7-mile home block,doing very brief, slow jogging on the road back.  It was difficult and punishing, doing this. I don't feel that I am making the degree of progress that I had wanted:maybe there's no improvement happeningat all!  In fact, I feel like I am sliding.  Simple motions are getting harder for me. I prefer to avoid outings that demand physical endurance, balance, and the strength required for me to adequately lift my feet and legs from the ground while maintaining a sense of functional balance.  It's very discouraging when I just want to turn up the air conditioning and go back to bed and hide beneath the sheets...

Upcoming Speech Therapist Visit: Will It Help?

 Today I felt too tired to train.  Melissa said this may be due all the chemotherapy I had been taking recently against my glioblastoma brain cancer. My oncologist feels that the treatment..including Avastin infusions... fed into my weariness, and temporarily relenting on it could restore more energy to give me better strength and endurance.  Tomorrow a speech therapist will b visiting to assess how I am doing with my speech. Cognitively I don't think I have a speech problem, but that while engaging in speaking my voice tends to weaken and even break...this is frustrating when I get the impression that folks simply don't want to invest the needed time and attention to hear me out...

Skipped Exercise on Beach Excursion

 On Friday June 5th Melissa drove us to Daytona Beach to spend the weekend there, returning home today.  We skipped Gainesville's Saturday morning Depot ParkRun 5Kwhich in 2026 coincided with historic D-D-Day, 6-6-44,when Allied forces staged a successful amphibious landing in Normandy, France. For the trip I intentionally avoided exercise...this extended through today...

Cardiologist Visit, ExercIsing, Baseball, TV, Beach, Depot Parkrun, Typing

 This morning I visited my regular cardiologist at northern Gainesville's UF Health Medical plaza in Spring Hill. He endorsed prescriptions to help lower my recent high blood pressure...and the exercises continue! I also did a good amount of rock-running, mainly while watching baseball games on TV. Also, I slow-ran for 40 seconds across the back yard.  It's now early in he evening following sunset, and I'm ready for more television.  As for tomorrow, we'r e still considering a brief stay at the beach..Depot Parkrun is now "off the table." My typing accuracy has worsened a lot, so, I'll leave it for you to read the best that you can,errors and all. So for the time being, good night, everyone..sleep well...

Abnormal readings set the Tone for My Cardiologist Visit on Thursday

 This morning I awoke with the intention of walking around my home block with Melissa . but after getting two unusually high blood pressure readings, we instead decided to cool it with the intense physical activity. My nurse Jennifer visited and we had a good conversation.  I have a mid-morning appointment tomorrow with my cardiologist, but I suppose the main focus will be my recent high blood pressure spikes. I hope he has some good solutions to get me relief with this problem.  Later on today, I did some milder rock-running exercise while watching baseball on TV.  So right now I'm closing out today's blog article, preparing to go back to the bedroom to try to get a decent night's sleep.  And then it will be onward to the cardiologist again...

Exercise and Baseball Following Medical Tests

 After having some of my medical concerns addressed yesterday at Shands Hospital, today I was more into exercise, doing a single home block walk/run... and then i earned more than 10K steps while rock-running as I watched TV, mostly baseball, on our MLB channel.  My favorite specificgame this evening?  MIlwaukee'e 8-3 home field victory against their struggling National League rival San Francisco, as "Front RowAmy, the Brewers' top fan, meticulously watched, cheered and kept score for this interesting game's duration.Well, it's time now to go to the back of our house for some overnight climate-controlled rest and relaxation. Good night, Y'all... , and calm down, Peewee Daisy...

Alleviating Clotting Concerns Reason for Return Visit to Shands for Tests

 Late afternoon today Melissa came back to me, woke me up from my nap, and declared she was driving me to Shands Hospital toundergo an ultrasound and a ct-scan to rule out the risk o blood clots appearingas side effects of some of my brain cancer treatments.  Later in the evening I would be building up exercise steps while watching baseball on our MLB channel.  Later on I recall getting a reasonably good night's sleep.   A couple of good friends met us at the UF Health Neuromedicine building on Archer Road to consult with my neurooncologist, Dr. Serendipity Rinonos, and her nurse practitioner.Although the additional tests took place in a hectic setting and I felt  little roughhandled by thet ech who efficiently and competently performed the ultrasound, the result seemed reassuring to me.  Life for me happens one day at a time and I intend to live it that way.And I stand grateful to God and Melissa for looking after me...

Stubborn about Fighting Cancer for Extended Lifespan and Healthspan

 This morning Melissa and I exercise-walked north from our house  along NW 27th terrace..then turned around and walked back home.  i'm not happy that this walking of mine for distance is such a tiring grind, remembering how easy it used to be: I want to go back to being a power walker, challenging the 40-minute mark for 5K's.With slow running I want to be like Ralph the Ageless Runner on YouTube..I love his shows.As for me, I strongly want to become confident in my proven ability to slowly runfor long distances as I live through this unwelcome era of sudden cancer diagnosis bombs dropping on me and disrupting my life, physical mobility and hopes for my future as I want to live on a high-functioning level throughout my seventies..and possibly deeply into my eighties..The marker of my level of stubbornness that I embrace, without self-shaming, on the present moments of my immediate physical environment, is  and should be a highpriority for me, and for you...

Trying to Withstand Heat and Humidity on Parkrun Day

 I woke up this morning with no intention of completing our local Depot Parkrun 5K. In fact, after an elevated blood pressure reading of mysel, Melissa and I had a brief discussion as to whether we would even  try..but in the end we decided to show up and she volunteered to do  a lap.For me, walking on such a hard, rough surface for that distance wore badly, and the few seconds of very light running near the end was a kind of relief for me.In the backyard I ran slowly for 40 seconds...maybe rock-running on the living room floor in the evening will add a good amount of steps to my recorded daily total. A little while ago while sitting outside on the back porch I found the heat(nineties) and humidity to be almost unbearable..maybe some rain will improve conditions.  I am now going back to the bedroom (withA.C.).to rest some.  All the best to you and yours...

Parkrun Tomorrow Morning , No Plans ro Complete It

 During the previous 2 dawns, I arose and promptly navigated my way around my home block, walking most of the distance and slow-running the rest. I took this as simple exercise.  It's supposed to reduce my blood pressure,yet when Meliss takes my readings (sh does them often) they tend to come out high.This morning...if it doesn't rain.. we should have the chance to go down to Depot Park together and get in a short walking...and possibly a slow jog...workout. The idea of completing the race course by covering the stipulated course distance of four laps seem a bit out of reach for us right now...I have fresh memories of speed-walking throughout several Parkruns during the hot and humid summer o 2024 and 2025 while barely breaking into a light sweat...where have all the memories gone? My objective for tomorrow morning is to do some walking exercise out there with Melissa...and then we get back into the car whenever we're ready to call it a morning.  Completing the Parkrun..which requires taking some time to accomplish...is only a secondary goal to getting out there and showing up...let's get some training done...

MRI Scheduled Soon, Training Plans and Outlook

 I amoing to uUF Health Neuromedicine building in about on hour for them to do an MRI on my brain. rMRIa tend to go well for m, although going through thnoise an sucha lengthy procedure can get t o b annoying.  I am looking forward t o my health improving, and forthe cancer in my head to beat  a hasty retreat from my life. I want  nice, long lifespan with a lot of athletic fittness equipping m me to participate...and thrive..in various middle-length-distance running races organized for this fall and winter.But before I get to that point, I'd like to attain a sense of proven confidence about completing Depot Parkrun 5kK's on Saturday mornings.  (Primarily) walking around my ,7-mile home resisdential block is transforming into a healthful, habitual routine.  I do like it when I'm going down the return street and breaking into a brief, light jog fo a couple of house lengths.     Hooray, Martinus Evans!My stated goal is to become an Endurance fitness walker, with  a trail of successfully completedraces behind me...

Confirmed in Opposition to Trump and his Acolytes

 In late 2020 a crazy pro-Trump molestation conspiracy theory group calling itself QAnon grabbed news headlines, and I was treated once or twice following the presidential election to a group of those die-hard kuckoos waving at me as I carefully and slowly drove past them on Gainesville' sNW 39th Avenue, past the gentrified bunch of stores there, including Starbucks, called Magnolia Parke.  During the past five electoral opportunities when Donald Trump's name was on the ballot against other candidates, I never voted for him...yet HillaryClinton(2016), Joe Biden (2020), Chris Christie [2024] an Kamala Harris in the2024 general election received my enthusiastic votes...I would have been happy with any of them as my president.  As for Trump's suck-up acolytes...beginning with JD Vance, who I believe wants to sell out Ukraine to imperial Russia,and continuing with Pete Hegseth..I can easily confirm to the reader that I'll never vote for them, not even for dogcatcher. I know that my single, one vote on election day has about the same effect on outcomes as a drop of water in the ocean. I think that right now, DJT should be incarcerated for his 34-count felony convictions, receiving excellent medical care and security at taxpayer expense with all of the power he now exerts permanently removed. I also believe that past reported assassination attempts on him were fake, contrived hoaxes and that he successfully milked their media coverage to create a false public image about himself as a kind of folk hero.  Well, that worked: at large, people are susceptible, gullible schmucks.  But I can still love them despite my frustration, can't I?  Yet they voted for him for president. May God in His mercy look out for my fellow Americans in spite of themsselves...

With Today's Chemotherapy Experience Comes Hope for Future

 This morning I walked around my home block (.7 mile). At first there was an elderly man ahead of me walking his old dog, which often would stop and sniff around in the off-road grass.  Finally, along the street after rounding the block's far end, he took his buddy back up, into ttheir house...leaving me alone to complete my exercise chore.  I slow-ran the last half-block, jogging past houses with brief walking breaks.  This strategy looks to be very promising..I wonder if it will help me complete Parkruns in the reasonable future. Later this afternoon Melissa drove me down to the UF Health Davis Cancer Pavilion off Gale Lemerand Drive.  There they drew my blood and took a urine specimen, then provided an IV chemotherapy Avastin infusion.  I'm back home now, feeling fine except for creeping anxiety about how my medical providers see the extent of my brain cancer, along with future prospects for my life and its quality.  I deeply wish that there will be no explosive growth of tumors like what happened to me in September and most of October last year, but we'll just have to wait and see what happens in the weeks and months to come. So I'm still hanging in there, wishing and praying for your health and, God willing, that my cancer will diminish and that my daily life will be fulfilling and marked by a high level of muscular  energy and cardiovascular fitness.Stay healthy, friends...

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Athletic Training Prospects with Uncertain Medical Future

 ALTHOUGH I am grateful((to God) for the time and quality of life He has so graciously granted me for this limited season, I get the disturbing impression that somehow the the clock is ticking down on me. Before the cancer bomb hit me in October,2025with no forwarning, my fitness level was sky-high...now when I walk I often feel as if I'm kicking down into the pavement with each walking step.  I'm still fighting the good fight with my training, practicing slow running in the back yard and rocking simultaneously back and forth on my feet...running in place seems to have slowed down, however, as a regular workout routine. Depot Parkrun 5K is a fitting challenge if I want to finish walking or running the course to completion....I just need to make it a priority.     This coming Saturday morning could well be too wet with the high probability of rain that they're forecasting.  The time is now approaching midnight...and I hear thunder in the background outside.   Tomorrow I'm going with Melissa to get blood drawn and another chemotherapy infusion session, to last much of the afternoon.And then later in the week I have another MRI to undergo.  That procedure, along with its analyzed results, could drastically change how stable of a life I have to expect at least for the short term, looking at my pain here with headaches, with me longing for release from having to pay attention to them and communicate my feelings to Melissafor for some relief and added life quality.  I just need to put everything about myself into the hands of the Lord...He's the Boss and has everything covered...                                                       

Storm, exercise, Steps,Baseball Commentary Over"Stepping"

 I regularly exercise indoors, in air conditioning on my living room floor, doingrock-running. By this way my heart rate gradually climbs over 90 beats per minute, reaching a low "zone one" of cardiovascular stress that physicians recommend to their patients for walking and light physical exertion.  Yesterday I earned a little more than 23K (23,000) steps training this way while watching TV, usually major league  baseball games, half-inning by half-inning.  MyFitbit watch has an annoying tendency to reset the step total to zero every few hours..and whenI've already done a few thousand steps, I try to remember to write down that number; I have credit for 2511 so far today.  Last night Gainesville had a tremendous thunderstorm that went on for hours..before today's meteorological activity I observed the clouds build up while sitting with sweet Melissa and Peewee Daisy on the back porch.  Maybe later today I'll be able to enjoy sitting outside some more with them.Yesterday evening I watched some baseball on the baseball channel we're subscribed to. I enjoyed the game but not the commentary during the final innings. The dude who thought he had all the important opinions came across  as cynical, hypercritical and disrespectful to both the game of baseball and to me as a fan who, ironically, has never played it.  Maybe if this continues I'll use the "mute" `button more.  More games are on tap today and into the evening:enjoy...

This is Memorial Day weekend, so with it I would like to honor Americans who made the ultimate sacrifice in times of conflict to protect our blessed freedoms.  None of us, myself included, will live within our mortal bodies forever on this Earth.  Those who bravely sacrificed their precious lives for our sake are especially worthy of our respect and honor. May GOD bless them all...

(Slow)Running to assume more active Role in Future Races and Events

 On this morning for which is forecast a 90% probability of rain, I am certain that we will be witnessing some stormy weather.  For the Depot Parkrun5k, I didn't feel remotely adequate to the task ofcompleting the entire course, but Melissa walked the first and only lap with me.  I was a bit irritable and grumpy, but toward the end of the looped trail...when it leveled off...Iwas able to lightly run down the pathway...it was an unexpectedly pleasant and empowering experience!I think that, on a gut-feeling level, Martinus Evans has it right with his "slow AF" run club. In the future i'd like for Melissa to drive me down to a nearby running track for me to train there and see how far I can jog on it...I feel quite optimistic being able to cover a good distance.  Now let's see how this day goes weather-wise, and how much training will help to improve my overall c-v fitness and endurance.  Also, I'm planning to use that running training to boldly 'step up' my running contiributions to future Parkrun events and races...

New Parkrun 5K Completion Strategy

 As a personal journal entry of this blog,my report today concerns my feeling of physical tiredness on the eve of yet another Parkrun 5k running and walking fitness event, which quite a few participants treat competitively.  I just want to complete a full Parkrun 5k an get it 'officially' acknowledged through timing, scanning, and posting online.Walking seems right now to be the most feasible strategy for me to get through it all instead of stopping before the whole 4-lap course is covered, but even now it seems like the task is too formidable.I have my wristband with the barcode, on my left wrist.My stopwatch should do the trick or accurately record my finishing time, whether or not I actually complete the prescribed Parkrun 5k course.  This evening I am completing my TMZ chemotherapy dose.. I'm currently on the fifth cycle of chemotherapy(orally administered), prescribed against gbm brain cancer discovered and diagnosed during surgery on  October 24th, 2025.I love so much how Melissa is so caring and tender with her love during this ordeal of mine...God bless her! I'm looking at tomorrow morning and see an opportunity for me to design my own physical fitness program. I've divided  it all up in my mind into 3 parts:1:show up, 2:follow through, and then 3: reward myself. But hydrate a lot out there. Have a wonderful weekend, everybody...

ON Cancer, Late-NIght Political TV "Comedy, God in CONTROL, Mortality, Gratitude

 Today I made an earnest attempt to be more physically active with home-based exercise, combining walking, slow running and non-impact 'rock-running designed to increase my heart ratewithout putting strains on my soft leg and feet tisssue...total measured steps for today surpassed 14,000.  Now I'm being involuntarily exposed to TV news and so-called "comedic" late-night shows in which the hosts take potshots at our own depraved "leaders".  I am NOT a Jimmy Kimmel fan, and I've never been one.  And that Stephen Colbert..forget him!  I'd just like to live my life training for better fitness and endurance, and to train my reactions to others during my daily existence whenever processes test the limits to my patience. As a matter of fact, it's not the provocations I pass through that matter so much, but rather my own chosen reactions to them. I watch the local Gainesville-area news and am saddened by the stories about different folks who hurt others with  a kind of violence and abuse indicating that they've lost their minds.And there are the typically ugly mug shots I see                                                                                   slapped across the TV screen..no, they have taken leave of their senses, thoroughly impulsively reactive people that I deeply wish to avoid like the plague.  Well, now we have an ebola outbreak, a new variant of COVID, and the hantavirus scaring the general population.  And cancer is slipping in quite easily among the population, my own body struck with prostate and aggressive brain cancer varieties.  The medical care here provided in the Gainsville area by UF Health is state of the art, and the BOSS is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, running the entire show: I follow my health and medical providers' instructions and am at peace accepting that my physical life is limited by time and that I am in God's loving and powerful hands.  I am deeply grateful for the many wonderful blessings in my life and in those of my loved ones.  So I"m about to head back to the bedroom and briefly agitate our dearly beloved Pewee Daisy...may you all sleep well and enjoy tomorrow to its fullest...

d

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HeadacheThroughout Day, No Early Rising Planned

 It's now early evening here in gainesville, Florida, which went through a very uncomfortably hot stretch in the low nineties.  My exercising wasrestricted to rock-running in the living room, amassing~4,500 steps. Now the baseball channel is showing the tail end of a tied  gamethat is going to extra innings...I don'r care who wins, as usual.  I putout some K-Cup flavored decaf coffee to brew a pot...now I"m sipping from a small Mario Brothers mug.  I have been  sufffering from headaches for most of today and still feel their effects, moderate in intensity but not going away. I'm still speculating on last October and the worsening of my headaches back then, which I think may have intensified due i major part to the rapid growth of cancerous brain tumors that the surgeon generally removedo n October 24th, more than 95% of them according to his own account.  I don't want these tumors to return, and i really want the neext MRI's I undeergo to reveal that my tumor growth has stalled out, at least for the next few months.  Waste removal and recycling are scheduled for pickup in my neighborhood tomorrow.  I don't have plans to get up hours before sunrise...a good night's sleep would be in order.  Well, i can adjust the air and rest on the living room couch for a while before heading back to stir up Peewee Daisy.  Y'all have a good night tonight...