Wednesday's Final Book Sale, Mentally Preparing for Upcoming Parkrun 5K

 Retirement for me has given way largely to a lack of time management structure in my daily life, with medical appointments providing a sense of having to be somewhere by a certain time.  Otherwise the day has opened up...that is, until the day before yesterday.  The Alachua County Friends of the Library Wednesday  finished their twice-annual used book sale, hopefully (for them) clearing out their warehouse offering books for a dime each.  Melissa drove us down there near Main Street and downtown Gainesville, and we walked an uncomfortable distance from the car and back.  The foreign language book section had already been completely cleaned out.  I quickly found some Junior-level novels and a copy of Marilyn Ferguson's 1980s' fad best-seller The Aquarian Conspiracy practically lept up at me from the display...it sure has declined in influence and availabilityover the years.  I remember once going to the public library decades ago, picking up a copy, and comfortably sitting down with it, reading for a few hours.  Now it's again in my possession...no telling where I'm going with it.  Tomorrow morning will be the weekend again, Saturday and (at 7:30) time for yet another Depot Parkrun 5K event.  If things go according to design (that is, Lord willing), we'll be there as I try to cover, mainly walking slowly, the park's four-lap course and then get scanned and posted.  My main aim is to show up and give it all a good effort while maintaining civility among the event staff and participants without trying to "beat" anyone.  Just enjoy listening to the loud, silly birds and keep trudging on ahead.  I exercised a bit today, but feel that progress at improving my endurance hasn't been as forthcoming as I have hoped.  Recognizing that there is a huge mental component to giving up during races (Martinus Evans and Andrew Huberman concur), I have decided to take it all one step at a time and to extend my efforts tomorrow long before my mind convinces me to stop.  Well, sleep a bit tonight, get up early enough tomorrow, and keep a positive mental attitude toward things.  And you, too...

Keep Quiet, and They Come After You

My lament: 

In the first Godfather movie, Don Vito Corleone refuses to enter the narcotics trade, staying quiet and put.  This only invites his enemy Virgil Solozzo to attempt assassination and start a gangland war.  In the same way I wonder whether calmly going about my postal duties on the job (back in 1998) wouldn't have welcomed harassment and bullying from the folks finding themselves with some floor supervisory authority over me at the time.  I refer here to Henry Lang., Art Green's Lorraine, Menal, Jose and the two Lisas. If I were Tom Petty or Bob Dylan I might add a few pointed lyrics for their great Jammin' Me song. Glad to be finally done with the lot of these bullies: completely useless people on every level  Oh, and near the end there was also Willy, a young, ignorant hyper-macho boo-butt bent on crushing people with his alpha-male persona and cutting, combative tongue.  Bye-bye, creepos.  Nothing wrong with me being reasonable and a good worker, but sometimes a little bluntness and confrontation can work well. Later today I have scheduled an infusion chemotherapy treatment at the Cancer Pavilion...I've reacted well so far to chemo in the past.  No ninth grade nonsense and discouragement today, and I've already done about 3 minutes of home exercise. Looks like the bigshots in state and nat'l government are at it again, trying to roll back my already-confirmed citizenship and voting status.  Leave me the eff alone, fascist jerks...

Now that that's off my chest, I'd like to shift a little into gratitude mode.  Those folks were probably, in their own minds, just doing their best and maybe to them I wasn't quite measuring up to their expectations.  Today I had a chemotherapy infusion session at the UF Health Davis Pavilion.  The techs seemed at first unable to find a stick in my arm or hand to draw the needed lab blood, but later all went well.  I'm tired after a long day and would like to rest under pleasant temperatures at home in this warmer than seasonable weather.  Tomorrow's hump day Wednesday.  I've concluded already that the Smiths' How Soon is Now is my Song of the month for February and for the year 2026 as well.  It's a profound anthem on asserting myself in the face of my shyness and deep feeling of social alienation: the ultimate Goth/melancholy song!  Go Morrissey, you hit it out of the park.  As for Bad Bunny, sorry but he just comes across to me more like a gangland hoodlum street pimp than a true musical artist with that phony woke demeanor of his.  Maybe someday one of these folks will produce something musically memorable...but maybe not.  As for Super Bowl halftime shows, though, that does it for me.  A close runner-up to How Soon is Now is Zebra's chilling Who's Behind the Door, with Tom Petty's 1987 Jammin' Me Right Behind in third with its relevant, funny and pointed lyrics.  What a rocker... Running-in-place (IPF) updated counter after today: 22 minutes...

Rob Dial Argues Against Comparing Oneself to Others

On his Mindset Mentor podcast today, personal development coach Rob Dial discussed how people tend to compare themselves...usually unfavorably...to others.  He says we're naturally wired into doing this assessing the relative social positions of ourselves against others, but it's not a good way to live out the day.  Folks like to scroll Facebook and other social media, but they tend to see what others post...which is usually the peak-best of what they are and do...and take it in as how they ordinarily live their lives.  I've seen this with the Canadian brothers' YouTube running channel, in which the two come off sounding awfully elitist about their chosen sport and tend to put down others that they don't see measuring up.  Well, it doesn't ruin my day to watch them, so let it be if that's how they want to present themselves...I'm still feeling fine.  My problem with others is in ordinary public conversation when they...usually it's men...go about, with false modesty, bragging about their own accomplishments and social standing.  I guess their expectation is for me to immediately defer to them as my superiors, but my reaction is usually one of aversion, wanting to put distance between them and me. This Parkrun experience I have habituated myself to partake of weekly is an example of the leaders openly stressing that it is NOT a competition...and then running in it like it IS. Rob Dial says that the only person you should be comparing yourself to is you, and whether or not you're improving over that past version of yourself.  That's how I see Parkruns and other races: how am I getting through the race and does my finishing time meet with the standards I set in past performances?  That's how I get myself looking forward each week to going down there and giving it another go.  For example, this coming Saturday morning I plan to try out the West End Community Parkrun for the third time, running it this time and seeing if I can't beat my initial finishing time there.  In the final analysis, whether I succeed in that is secondary to the main thing, which is showing up in the first place.  In any event, I'm sure there will be some annoying people who will try to make it all a personal contest between us...I say let them do that if that's how they want to limit themselves...

Podcaster's 8 Ways to Alleviate Stress and Anxiety

I usually check in on a daily basis whenever personal development podcaster Rob Dial posts a new episode on his Mindset Mentor show. Sometimes it's a bit wrenching to sit through a whole twenty-odd minutes when he's pondering aloud through the day's topic...maybe other listeners prefer those types of programs. My preference is when Dial picks his topic and then goes down a list of ways to effectively deal with it.  Today's show was like that, with Dial enumerating ways to handle stress and anxiety...he came up with eight:

1) Breathing exercises to lower blood pressure and alleviate stress

2) Focus on gratitude

3) Go for a walk

4) Write it all out, journaling

5) Get blood levels checked for possible imbalances

6) Watch ten minutes of comedy...laughter is a big stress-reducer

7) Ingest less caffeine...even better, eliminate it

8) Start listening to slower, more ambient music.  

I already do much of what Dial suggested...sometimes a different way from his specifications.  My breathing exercises diverge a bit from his, but he's right on target with most of his points. As for the blood testing, good luck with Medicare paying for that if you're like me.  I admire Rob Dial not only for his obvious sincerity in doing what he does for people's greater good: he promotes a healthy, positive outlook on living.  If there's any single one of the above eight suggestions he made that stands out in importance to me, it's #2: Be grateful.  I think too many of us, myself included, tend to look on the negative side of things instead of reflecting on the blessings we enjoy in our lives. Gratitude helps, especially in those areas we think are unduly stressful...

Skipped Run This Morning, Attended Church Function

Normally, Saturday morning is the time for me to drive down to Depot Park, just south of downtown Gainesville, to participate in their weekly free Parkrun 5K.  Yesterday evening, though...following the viewing of the movie Conclave...I felt a twinge of slight pain in my leg behind the knee.  Not wanting to take a chance on aggravating a possible injury, I decided to skip the event.  No problem...I slept in and got some extra needed sleep: I can take it easier on the exercise and see how it goes.  Later today, Melissa and I went to the nearby United Methodist Church to attend a conference headed by Wesleyan scholar Paul Chilcote.  It was well-done and I felt a spirit of love and camaraderie there.  I did notice, though, a personal aversion to interacting directly with others.  It wasn't a matter of disliking anyone for any reason, but rather a physical reaction I experienced, as if I were somehow allergic to them.  Oh, one thing that kind of rubbed me wrong was Chilcote claiming at the end that he was an introvert...that dude apparently hasn't a clue about what the word really means.  Still, his message was welcome although I felt he invested too much time and emphasis on the official denomination and its founders.  Then again, I guess that contributed to how he got to rise like he did in stature within the organization.  That's fine: he's a good guy and I wish him well...

Just Pick a Side

Hard Rock, the entertainment/resort company that is prominent in my home state of Florida, has recently been airing a slew of TV commercials, some featuring recording artist Post Malone, that tout their online "service" allowing players to gamble on sports.  I suppose that if you're into that, then good for you...it's just that much easier to put your hard-earned money on the line.  So in this vein I see a company responding to a demand within the population that satisfies them.  I see other companies likewise doing this.  For example, many addicted cigarette smokers welcomed the advent of vaping, which did away with the carcinogenic tobacco elements they would breathe when "lighting up",  but which still provided them that craved nicotine effect.  Again, a demand met by companies' innovations...good for them, again.  Where I have a problem, though, with both of these examples is when the companies go out of their way to create new "needs" among the potential consumer pool that previously did not exist.  Making vaping seem cool to young people who never touched a cigarette in their lives is like this.  Or go back to Hard Rock, expanding the gambling to generally ignorant folks who don't know enough to at least make an educated guess about who will win or lose a sports contest.  With them, their latest pitch is a gimmick they have on their app whereby participants can still lay down their money and bet by simply "picking a side".  It all sounds so fun and inclusive, or at least that's how the ads make it look: come on and join the party!  But here again is a company expanding its consumer base to create a need that simply wasn't there before.  I guess, though, that's the essence of advertising, isn't it, to make the fool targeted potential consumer feel somehow inadequate or less than acceptable if they don't climb aboard with the company's agenda...  

Quote of the Week...from Rob Dial

Everything that comes into your brain is brainwashing, in some sort of way.  I'm gonna be in control and intentional about my brainwashing.                    ---Rob Dial

Brainwashing is one of those terms pervasive in popular usage, almost always used with negative connotations.  It's not scientific, either, but does sound impressive when used.  Rob Dial, a personal development podcaster, on a recent show made the above quote in the middle of his twenty minute monologue.  This one pertained to the notion of self-care and how we speak to ourselves.  He wisely noted that many of us are too down and negative with our self-talk, treating ourselves much differently than someone for whom we are trusted with their care and well-being, such as a child or family member.  Dial maintains that how we speak to ourselves will "brainwash" us in the direction of our internal conversation, and we have the choice and power to make ourselves who we want to be, since our brains have the malleable characteristic of neuroplasticity.  I get Dial's point although I feel unqualified to affirm it all based on neurological science.  People have the choice...and therefore the responsibility...to assert to themselves the kind of person they want to be.  Cut it with the hopeless, self-bashing self-talk and replace it with an encouraging, accountable narrative that builds instead of destroys.  Easier said than done since it often involves ingrained habits, but you have to start somewhere...

Doubling Down and Gaslighting

I'm sure that manipulative, controlling people have been around ever since, well, people have been around. But lately I've been hearing a lot of two different terms describing what seems to me to be essentially the same thing.  They are "doubling down" and "gaslighting". When someone espousing something false is confronted with the truth, hopefully...with the caveat that the truth-speaker is tactful...the recipient will receive the message and process it in a rational manner, perhaps changing their viewpoint if reason dictates or maintaining their position if that is called for.  But too often nowadays, I see folks take contradictory input as a personal attack on themselves, and their ego takes over as they even more vehemently reiterate their obviously flawed perspectives.  That's "doubling down" and is also indicative of "gaslighting", which is when someone tries to alter your perception of reality by preying upon your own fears and self-image, bringing whatever is discussed down to a contest for domination instead of truth-seeking.  Even if not precisely the same, I see the two tactics as being intimately interwoven, and I am becoming increasingly adept at noticing them when practiced on me...

Just Finished Reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

I recently read the 1963 novel The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.  I knew going in that both the author and the main character Esther Greenwood, her early-1950s young college student interning at a New York fashion magazine, had serious issues with depression and attempted suicide...Plath would take her own life soon after the book's initial publication under a pseudonym.  So I wasn't exactly expecting a walk in the garden reading The Bell Jar, but I was still nonetheless enlightened as to how people think in this state of mind.  Esther provides the first person narrative as she goes into clinical, cynical detail describing and evaluating the people around her, including her mother, men, her employer, her best friends...and just about anyone else she runs across.  Coupled with Esther's ceaseless criticisms of others is her increasing compulsion to commit suicide as she mentally rehearses different opportunistic scenarios for the deed. This is a pretty harsh tale as you might imagine, and I couldn't help but make a comparison to the Holden Caulfield protagonist of J.D. Salinger's novel The Catcher in the Rye, describing a similar social setting also set in the generally same time and place, only from a young man's equally cynical perspective...only Holden wasn't bent on ending it all.  I find in both characters' narration an extreme narcissism, as if everyone else was on trial for them to judge, and both were quick to condemn life in general.  I've been through adolescent depression...although untreated and never even remotely suicidal...and have experienced a similar rush to judgment about others and life.  I think these books expose a kind of thinking that plagues a lot of us, and that when we finally learn to allow ourselves the freedom to be our own individual selves and grant others their right not to be perfect, then some progress can be made for a happier existence.  I read The Bell Jar because it was one of the "great books" featured on a coffee mug I got a few months ago.  Compared to other books displayed on it, I have to admit to being a little disappointed...yet it does effectively get inside the mind of another in a way that few stories have been able to do.  Looking back on what I've written here, I don't want to sound harsh myself looking at Plath and her protagonist Esther...there's clearly a physical component to depression that some people are predisposed to, and which tends to cast great influence on their outlooks and consequential behavior...

Quote of the Week...from Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.               ---Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt, Franklin Delano Roosevelt's wife and the nation's First Lady throughout his twelve-year presidency that began with the Great Depression and took us through World World II, was a powerful speaker and activist, noted for her championing of marginalized peoples.  Rob Dial, in today's podcast, gave her above quote that dovetailed nicely with his assertion that others...especially those with toxic personalities...can only hurt you with their words if you sense their truthfulness for yourself and internalize them.  How such triggers are processed...between the time they are heard and your response...can determine the quality of your life as psychologist Victor Frankl once emphasized.  I tend to agree, not that my own reactions to such negative experiences have demonstrated this for much of my life.  I can remember numerous instances of encountering toxic people and allowing their barbs to cut me.  Yet at the same time I didn't necessarily feel inferior as a result but rather grew to hate those committing the offenses.  As Max Ehrmann in his prose poem Desiderata once wrote, "Avoid loud and aggressive people, they are vexatious to the spirit".  Yet Dial regards toxic jerks and their insulting bullcrap as a gift to aid in people's personal development...oh, please, I bet you were one of them, dude. By the way, "bully" can be substituted for "toxic person"...

Quote of the Week...from Soren Kirkegaard

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.                               Soren Kirkegaard.

Soren Kirkegaard was a 19th century theologian and philosopher from Denmark.  Rob Dial, a personal development coach, used his above quote on a recent podcast while discussing the roles, both helpful and harmful, that anxiety plays in people's lives. According to Dial, it is our response to anxiety and the degree to which we make our own life choices, taking responsibility for them, that will eventually quiet our anxiety.  But I also just read the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown, which included being responsible for one's choices as a necessity for reducing our lives to the highest standards.  Both viewpoints involve stepping up to the plate and embracing choice and freedom instead of letting others choose for us and consequently run our lives instead of ourselves.  So while anxiety doesn't necessarily feel good, it also can be symptomatic of an effective and courageous life...just as long as it doesn't get out of control...  

Volunteered at Gainesville's Depot Parkrun This Morning

Since I had already signed up to run another race tomorrow morning, I decided to forego my customary Saturday morning Depot Parkrun 5K and volunteer there, in the singular role of standing at the scanning table sorting the plastic little finishing tokens as they came in.  I've done it before and it doesn't require me downloading anything on my phone like some of the other roles do, so that's what I picked to do.  It all seemed to go well, but I did notice...in accordance with some of the ideas in Greg McKeown's book Essentialism that I just read...that there is a psychology, or perhaps better stated, an ideology here in the volunteer sector that places unreasonable demands on people who are already volunteering to keep saying "yes" to even more demands.  Something like this happened to me this morning, but I stood my ground and asserted my boundaries.  I don't think the attitudes of some of the people here necessarily stand out as bad, and I see this sort of thing in other areas in other groups: once you're pegged as a contributor, then instead of just saying thank you and being done with it they keep going on guilt-riding you into taking on and giving more and more...I was glad to get out of there when my "service" had ended.  Still, I get that fact that volunteers are who make events like the Parkrun possible and will most likely do more of this as the year goes on...

Just Finished Reading The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

It was bad enough that I had confused Alfred Adler, the inspiration for this book on psychology The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, with American philosopher Mortimer Adler.  As I began reading it, I was peeved to see it written in the form of a manufactured dialectic debate between an elder Adlerian adherent and a disaffected young person.  The youth was angry at the world and himself, blaming his past for turning himself into a somewhat cynical adult.  The elder was content and patient, welcoming challenging arguments to his philosophy by "refuting" them with invalidating proclamations. I thought that was a bit phony, as was the imaginary setup between the two, culminating with the youth "coming around" to the other's arguments as the book conveniently reached its conclusion...reminded me of the pattern in the old Perry Mason murder mystery TV dramas when at with about five minutes to go the real murderer inexplicably breaks down on the witness stand and confesses to everything. Adler maintained that personal trauma of the kind his contemporary, Sigmund Freud, emphasized, wasn't real, that is, in the sense that the person who holds on to it has a reason that serves them somehow.  Also, it's important to take ownership of one's own tasks, setting up boundaries for them, and respecting the tasks others face without interference or or imposing one's own standards on them.  Adler/The Elder hold that all problems stem from personal relationships, yet true happiness arises only from one's feeling of contribution to the betterment of others...wrap your head around that one.  To the extent that this book, whose co-authors reportedly adhere to their own particular Japanese philosophy related to to Adler's, extol the virtues of people taking responsibility for their own lives while respecting the necessary boundaries of others and living in the present as opposed to past regrets or future worries, I couldn't agree more.  On the other hand, I am more than a little wary (and weary) of gurus handing out rules and principles to follow.  Read it and get back to me (if that's your "task", that is),,,

Quote of the Week...from the Movie Groundhog Day

Phil Connors: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

This to me was the funniest line from a very funny movie, 1993's Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray as Phil Connors, a vain Pittsburgh TV weatherman on an unpleasant assignment to cover the annual Groundhog Day festivities in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.  Only things suddenly get much worse when he wakes up the morning after February 2nd...and discovers to his horror that it's Groundhog Day all over again, with the same people saying and doing the same things and himself exactly the same as if he had never already lived through the day...the same, that is, except for his complete memory of what is happening to him.  After a few experiences of repeatedly waking up to the same day, he goes out drinking with some local blue-collar dudes, the above-mentioned Ralph being one, and poses the quoted question.  Of course, Phil means something quite literal as he asks about what if nothing you did mattered...and promptly comes up with the answer: no consequences...leading to another hilarious scene.  As Phil's affliction keeps going on from same day to same day, the movie does change in tone to that of desperation and ultimately acceptance and a deeper appreciation of life and what should be one's priorities in it.  But Ralph's answer so poignantly expresses so many people's viewpoints without needing to undergo any supernatural time-bending experience. Time does tend to march on from day to day in a cyclic, repetitive pattern.  Part of this is how we're constructed as biological beings tied in to the solar cycle, part is society's way to organize itself to prevent chaos, establish some order and effectively function...and part is each individual's aggregation of habits...some of them more recently acquired and others lifelong...that resist spontaneity and change.  There's not so much to be done with the first two reasons, but that last one is within each person's power to control and steer into a more interesting and meaningful direction... 

Quote of the Week...from Bilbo Baggins

 I don't know half of you as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

    --- Bilbo Baggins

This isn't the first time I've quoted J.R.R. Tolkien's likable fantasy fiction character Bilbo Baggins, the prominent protagonist in the novel The Hobbit and more peripheral in the later Lord of the Rings trilogy. On March 27, 2020 I used a quote of his from The Hobbit about people who think they know more about my best interests than I do...click HERE to read it.  Today's Bilbo quote comes from the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring, the first Rings installment.  He is in the Shire, homeland of the diminutive hobbit folk, giving a speech during his birthday celebration.  Bilbo, like me about people in general, has mixed feelings about his fellow hobbits, and decided to play a little joke on them (actually he plays a bigger one a few seconds later) by manipulating words to sound critical when, for all practical purposes, they are nearly meaningless.  And I'm referring to the second part of the above quote.  The cheering crowd, feeling happy and complimented from the quote's first part, suddenly becomes mute and confused from the second. It sounds unduly negative, doesn't it?  I bring it up not only because it's a kind of linguistic riddle to unwind, but because it shows that how one expresses a thought is just as important as its meaning, and that how it is received is an integral part of the act of communication.  Somebody once said, "The meaning of a communication is the response you get"...it couldn't be more true here.  Just remember, when all the encoded sub-messages come out from different candidates in the upcoming '24 elections, that from their perspective it isn't the content of their own speeches, including that content's level of veracity, that counts for them, but rather the impact their expressed words have on the target groups they are trying engender the desired emotions among (like fear and anger) to get them running to the polls on their behalf.  And if you're thinking I'm referring to one just side of the political spectrum, you're sadly mistaken...

People and Happiness: Not Synonymous

A few weeks ago, I discussed a "Goth Kid" quote from the cartoon series South Park.  The Goth Kids embrace that alternative culture complete with black clothes and idiosyncratically gloomy music while smoking, drinking coffee and talking about bad everything is.  Well, I had to check myself to see how Goth I was...at least from the South Park writers' perspective: "yes" on black clothes, gloomy music and coffee, "no" on smoking and "sometimes" on running down what's going on around me and in the world. I think a lot of so-called "self-help" gurus out there, religious preachy-types and unapologetic extroverts tend to confuse being down on people and society with being down on life. But you can be highly critical and even cynical about people and society while at the same time thoroughly enjoying life: those Goth Kids seem to dig their own scene! I am tired of those who think I'm unwillingly in some kind of shell that they need to crack in order to expose me to the company of all the annoying, problematic people that they feel will bring me real happiness.  But truth be told, I'm already pretty happy, thank you, and for the most part hanging around a lot of folks tends to drain me mentally and emotionally while elevating my anxiety. On the other hand, I've always enjoyed good one-on-one conversations, so go figure. People and happiness, for me, are neither synonyms nor antonyms...they're completely different concepts and if the former piss me off from time to time I'm gonna call it like it is, whether I'm "Goth" or not...

Podcaster Discusses How to Make Oneself Miserable

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you already know that I am a regular listener to personal development coach Rob Dial's podcast, which can be found on number of sites, including YouTube...it's called Mindset Mentor.  Usually if I write about a specific podcast, I'll have waited a few days beforehand.  But today he presented four mindsets people have which make themselves miserable in life.  The first is trying to control that which I cannot control, be it situations on the other side of the world or the people around me.  To a certain extent I can do my part to make things better by expressing opinions or voting on election day.  And speaking truth in a compassionate way to others is also something I could do more.  But sitting there letting the negativity stew around in my mind helps no one, especially myself.  The second of Dial's points is comparing myself to others, bemoaning the supposed advantages others enjoy that enable them to have or experience a more interesting and bountiful life.  To that he recommends intentionally setting aside time to focus on things that I can be grateful for in my life...and there is definitely a lot to consider here.  That doesn't imply that I shouldn't strive to improve myself and my circumstances, but once again I shouldn't just sit there fuming inside about how unfair life is.  Number Three on Rob Dial's list of things making folks miserable is focusing on the past.  We all live in the present and the past is gone...in spite of all the science fiction stories I've read or watched using the literary gimmick of time travel.  Moping around about past regrets can mess up my present, yet I don't think I should ignore the past either...it's how I learn to better live in the present!  Finally, our host presents the fourth pathway to misery: worrying about the future.  To be sure, that's where we're all heading...but most of the disasters predicted ahead don't materialize.  I am rooted to the present, and only in the now can I act to do my part to bring about a better world.  But once again, I present a caveat: of course, I need to notice danger and problems on the horizon and, if possible, try to effectively deal with them.  But static worry accomplishes nothing to alleviate anything.  If you think I'm getting a little preachy here, rest assured: I wrote this down primarily as a way to reinforce to myself the show's message...which today seemed quite profound...

Just Finished Reading 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson

I just finished reading, on audiobook, Jordan Peterson's 2018 book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos.  Peterson is a Canadian psychologist who has a podcast which features long shows usually involving interviews.  The tone in this book is very moralistic and on audio his adamancy for his opinions can get to the point of coming across a bit shrill and plaintive...at least that's how he sounds to me. In spite of that, I was a bit blown away by the depth of thought and insight underlying his enunciated principles and felt alternately convicted and affirmed by many of his conclusions about society and how individuals can and should function within it.  It's a tough-love kind of message here, and I believe that not everyone would receive it as well as myself.  I'm planning to go for a reread of this remarkable work in the near future...

 

Here are the rules:

1 Stand up straight with your shoulders back.

2 Treat yourself like someone you're responsible for helping.

3 Make friends with people who want the best for you.

4 Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

5 Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.

6 Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

7 Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).

8 Tell the truth...or at least, don't lie.

9 Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't.

10 Be precise in your speech.

11 Do not bother children while they are skateboarding.

12 Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street.

Some of the above...especially the final two...are a bit tongue-in-cheek while others have much more expansive interpretations, which the author is quite willing to reveal in each chapter.  This is an idea-packed work, and I don't automatically subscribe to everything Peterson has laid out here...but he did a masterful job of presenting his own thoughtful views about life and how to live it...

Quote of the Week...from Jordan B. Peterson

If you are not willing to be a fool, you can't become a master.       Jordan B. Peterson

On a recent podcast of his personal development coach Rob Dial paraphrased the above quote by Canadian psychologist Jordan B. Peterson, a podcaster in his own right.  It was used to illustrate how people need to immerse themselves within an area in which they want to attain expertise, with mistakes and failures integral parts of the learning process.  Dial didn't mention Peterson by name, which to me seemed unusual.  Jordan B. Peterson wrote a book, among others, titled The Twelve Rules of Life, which I checked out on Libby and am currently reading.  He takes a strong position on people taking personal responsibility for their own lives and has gotten some negative press scrutiny over his general objection to identity politics, although on a number of issues he is clearly on the liberal side.  I won't get into the dude's political leanings but rather into the substance of the above quote.  As little children, we usually are given much leeway with our mistakes, but once we "grow up" those same mistakes can make us the target of ridicule...or at least that's the way our fears can manipulate us into believing.  I know that I will never speak a language I am studying unless I first just get out there with native speakers and stumble around, playing the fool, so to speak.  The same thing goes for any other area I'm engaged in.  Of course, if I'm learning to fly a plane or drive and park a long tractor trailer, there is naturally going to be less tolerance on being a fool and making mistakes as the negative consequences would be too high.  But speaking a new language?  Somebody throw me a jester's hat!

The Misanthropic Volunteer?

Today's piece is more or less a continuation of yesterday's entry about my running and walking...with a marked misanthropic slant, if you can handle that.  I mentioned that yesterday I volunteered at my local Gainesville Depot Parkrun event, sorting the plastic finishing tokens that are scanned along with the runners' own printed barcodes...I don't expect you to know what I'm talking about.  But being where I was, I could observe the proceedings from a different perspective and, quite frankly, came to the conclusion that the vast majority of people around me were miserably unhappy.  There was one lady there...there always seems to be someone like this in most public social situations I find myself in... who made a point of having me walk across the park to ask a park employee whether a sheltered pavilion there was available to us in case it started raining.  She could have gone and done that herself, but I sensed a need in her to assert hierarchy and power, no matter how petty.  I was fine with the task but filed away her behavior...that alone would convince me to never volunteer here again.  But with the others, in spite of all the stuff I hear about how people want to be sociable and make friends, none of them seemed the least bit interested in doing so, with me or anyone else, for that matter.  Everyone, frankly, seemed terribly reserved and formal...yeah, like I want to hang out with them!  Not that I am necessarily passing judgment on anyone...I'm sure they could come up with some zingers to say about me as well.  But I do think that it is a fraud, a big lie, to claim to be extraverted...or that there is something wrong with me that I am introverted...when the vast majority of folks out there are either put out, uncomfortable...or even frightened when in social settings, especially among strangers.  Does any of this prove that I hate people?  I don't think so, otherwise I wouldn't have been willing to pay attention in such a discerning way to those around me.  Instead, I believe that people in general are much, much more misanthropic than they like to let others believe. And if it's not a sweeping dislike of humanity with them, at the very least they are tribal, with all of their efforts at sociability confined to their insulated little bubble of family and close friends.  Oh heck, I'll probably volunteer here again, I'm such a glutton for punishment...