Cancer Treatments, Accumulating Virtual Miles

 On this tenth day of December, 2025, I feel that I have easily undergone enough rounds of brain cancer treatments at UF Health to more accurately size up my reactions, especially negative side effects.  The TMZ chemotherapy capsules I daily consume each and every morning have brought with them warnings of nausea and digestive issues.  But so far I fail to feel any of these drawbacks, although things can tend to go pretty slowly "down there".  And neither have my weekly blood draw readings indicated that this treatment method might be dangerous.  No, regarding side effects of the radiation therapy given on non-holiday weekdays, the standouts  have been headaches and lightheadedness.  Hopefully, when that regimen finishes at year's end I'll have a reasonable grace period to recover from any deleterious effects resulting from those rounds of treatments.  Fatigue was also mentioned as a potential side effect from my capsule-form chemotherapy treatments, but I'm just not feeling that way.  No, instead I'd say that sleepiness descends on me earlier in the day although I still retain a good level of energy and cardiovascular fitness.  For the past two days I have gotten serious about accumulating virtual-equivalent miles from exercising with me standing on our living room floor while watching YouTube videos, chief among them of others' recorded experiences in years past (especially 2022).  Yesterday I covered 8.2 virtual miles while today I reached 12 virtual miles.  These are good workouts in that they put me into a Zone One cardiovascular state without putting too much stress on my legs' soft tissue.  Someday I hope the benefits from this "rock-running" will transfer to regular road running.  Still thinking optimistically.  I do know that I recently shared this training method I invented with my chief oncologist and she reacted with enthusiastic approval...

Did Extensive Zone 1 Living Room Exercises Despite Feelings

This morning Melissa drove me down to get another round of radiation treatment for brain cancer.  The procedure itself worked fine, but I seem to be suffering some inflammatory side effects from it.  The doctor prescribed for me steroids to counter possible headaches, and although I don't like headaches or lightheadedness, I'm going along with it with the best hopes possible.  Later I decided to do Zone One exercises while watching a 2022 NYC Marathon virtual run...recorded and posted on The Manor Runs channel...on YouTube.  I credited myself having covered a virtual distance of 7.4 miles.  Add to that the equivalent of .8 miles in FitBit steps, and the total comes to 8.2 miles.  Doing this doesn't make me fatigued, but after just a few minutes I could happily just lean back on our living room couch and let myself slip into unconciousness.  Tomorrow I'd like to continue the activity and cover more miles.  My hope is that this will better prepare me to more effectively run during Saturday morning Parkrun 5Ks.  

Today's Treatments and Doctor Visit

 After receiving my radiation treatment for today at the UF Health Davis Cancer Pavillion, Melissa and I went on a long walk to the Neuromedicine building, where we met with my neurologist/oncologist physician Dr. Rinonos.  Always upbeat, positive and engaging, that appointment went quite well as my treatments continue unabated.  Afterwards, the day slogged on after I ate my main meal from an Arby's drive-through line, not sleeping very much overnight.  Dr. Rinonos was very enthusiastic and supportive of the exercise routine that I created, making the whole experience one of never leaving the ground (no contact).  I just need to regularly show up and follow through with it.  Later on there was Monday Night Football on ABC/ESPN when the Philadelphia Eagles went to Los Angeles to play the Chargers...Philly has been slumping a bit lately.  Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings...

On This Anniverary of the Pearl Harbor Attack

Right now it's morning in Gainesville.  I'm sheltered in place within my house and it's raining quite a bit, predicted to do so for hours.  I think I did sleep some last night, although I'm not counting on my FitBit to bear that out.  It is also December 7th, the 84th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor that ushered in the United States' entry into World War II.  I thought of the family scene at the close of the movie The Godfather Part II in which Santino (Sonny) rants about "what do you think of the Japs bombing Pearl Harbor on Pop's birthday".  Fredo replies, "They didn't know it was Pop's birthday", bringing a round of laughter.  Later Michael, played by Al Pacino, reveals that he had just enlisted in the Marines, greatly angering his volatile older brother.  This flashback scene comes right after the end of a planned murder spree in which Michael has not only disgraced his own family but has effectively destroyed it.  The scene to me is one of the best in the Godfather series, not just this movie.  Well, Pearl Harbor has NOT just been attacked, and today is before me although I plan to stay at home for most of it.  Blessings to all...

MIxed Walking and Running in Today's Depot Parkrun 5K

I don't like fog, but I can get through it.  What concerned me about this morning's race offerings was the forecast rain possibility around the 7:30 race time for Gainesville's Depot Parkrun 5K.  My phone weather app reassured me that I would (probably) be dry for much of today, so Melissa...although she was going to sit out this particular event...drove me down there in time for the race.  At its start, it was very, very foggy, 71 degrees and 100% humidity.  I had openly intended to lightly jog the distance, but soon after the start I felt compelled to settle into a brisk walk.  After doing this for much (if not most) of the first of four laps, I developed a strategy of alternating running with fast (for me) walking.  It worked, but it certainly was NOT comfortable.  I picked out different stretches of the race to walk and then resumed some light running.  Thankfully, all went well and by the event's final stretch I was running at a nice, moderate pace.  I finished at 42:55 and Melissa helped me with the post-race recovery before we headed down to Dunkin' Donuts for some treats.  That was fun, and it was also Parkrun #96 for me...four more to go before the next tee-shirt!  You can view the results by clicking HERE.  Last night I didn't get much sleep, which is nowadays pretty much "par for the course" preceding running race events I'm entering. I was disappointed in being largely stymied from sustaining any level of light running early on, but was encouraged by how well I had recovered by the final two laps, finishing relatively strong.  Let's see what happens in the races to come...

Thinking Good Thoughts at End of Week

Today marked the third full week of cancer chemotherapy and radiation treatments, all prescribed by the good physicians at UF Health.  Besides going to them with my sweet Melissa driving, my days and nights are more or less unstructured...unless it's me doing the structuring.  Tomorrow morning they're "forecazzing" heavy fog for Gainesville, with a chance of some rain later on.  Sunday's supposed to be much heavier with the local precipitation, but since I'm planning to stay at home all day that'll be okay for me.  I'm tired of the TV news, be it local or national in scope.  America has become grim (not great) again, and I guess it's all a part of the "master" plan.  TV-20 today devoted much time and effort celebrating their chief meteorologist Mike Potter's retirement...he'll be missed.  I still exercise some, spending time in front of the TV moving to foreign language podcasts and virtual running race videos (I'm going through the 2022 Hartford Half Marathon on Runner's Digest channel.  Still plodding on ahead thinking good thoughts...

A Day in My Life Undergoing Treatment

The time this evening has been steadily creeping onward...now it's more than a quarter past nine.  This article is more or less a personal journal entry about my voyage through this day in my life.  I'm currently about halfway through my regimen of chemotherapy and radiation therapy rounds to treat my diagnosed brain cancer.  Once that's though, probably at the end of 2025, there will be a short waiting period before medical testing to determine the treatment plan's effectiveness at stymieing the advancement of this aggressive variety.  After my radiation session this afternoon, we sat with two oncology physicians, who to me seemed more concerned about my reactions, especially to the radiation treatments.  Before the onset of pill-form chemotherapy and radiation appointments on November 17th, I was rather concerned about being able to sustain them all, seeing how adversely Melissa reacted the previous year...especially with her toxic two doses of chemotherapy.  Nevertheless, I used the remaining, somewhat effective brain mechanism I still have that provides will power to discipline myself into rock-running an effectively eleven-mile home living room virtual run while watching Alex's NYC Marathon conclusion filmed in 2022...it worked.  I feel that I have no other real choice than to follow this prescribed program for recovery and health quality and extension.  And doing it with a positive attitude goes hand in hand with that. Worst case scenarios have me leaving this world after a considerably shortened future...or this world leaving me, but I think I have some significantly better outcomes to entertain as realistic possibilities as long as I stay true to the prescribed program.  And that includes regaining the lost endurance I had the previous year when I finished a marathon to my liking and ran several other long-distance races, along with a slew of Parkrun 5Ks.  Why not just see if things don't improve in 2026.  My energy is fine...why not work to enhance it...

Instead of Regrets, Instill New System and "Show Up"

Regrets are aspects of my memory that don't really do me a whole lot of good in the present times.  I can easily get myself into a pattern of regret about wasting my school year evenings avoiding doing assigned homework. Then I can devise a system that might have retroactively worked to show that I at least showed up with the homework, producing a product that by no means needed to remotely approach excellence.  But examining the state of mind I was usually in after a grueling-long day at school puts me into a different attitude toward homework avoidance, and it has almost nothing to do with regret.  Nowadays at age 69 I can see the coming evening and I am quite comfortable recognizing that it is natural for me to feel tired, both mentally and physically, as nighttime descends and I want to eventually begin to enjoy a hopefully good night's sleep. I suppose that, alternatively, I could have intentionally gone to bed (sleep) early in the evening and gotten up early in the (school) morning around five, opening up my books around then with coffee on the dining room table.  As Andrew Huberman has repeatedly pointed out, sometimes the transformational moment for someone like myself can be simply showing up and making a nominal effort, placing a strict time limit on how long and how hard I go at whatever happens to be my project.  I suppose that at this stage in my earthly existence, since I am still ambulatory and can think for myself, this strategy of instilling a new system that emphasizes early morning activity is feasible and relevant.  Let's see how this goes... 

Weather and Personal Endurance Level Cast Shadows in this Saturday's Races

As I am writing this, the six o'clock local Gainesville news is about halfway through with weather announcer Bradley Benoit delivering his own version of the local weather, along with the "forecazz" as he likes to pronounce it.  It looks as if this weekend we're in for some stormy, rainy weather.  So regarding the upcoming Tyler's Season of Hope races on the Hawthorne Trail, 15K (9.3 miles) and 5K (3.1 miles) in length, the prospects for a dry race seem pretty dim.  This is a recurring theme for the end of the calendar year when bad weather often comes along to increase my misery index with scheduled races.  Back in Janauary 2025, the Florida Track Club organizers finally delayed by a day holding their touted Mary Andrews Marathon/half marathon race on the eastern end of the Hawthorne Trail.  So once the storms finally abated, I had to deal with very, very cold weather for this unimaginative and undifferentiated, boring there-and-back course.  I'm already dealing with my own problems sustaining running endurance for middle distances with this weight gain and brain cancer ordeal, but I frankly don't want to have to deal with race infrastructure screw-ups like not providing adequate parking...Tyler's Hope is guilty of that in the past years on a couple of counts when they marginalized us in favor of side interests like the 5K kids and "Girls on the Run".  They did mention on their website that during their races the course will remain open until the last finisher crosses the line, but my trust level on this is low...the charity running this, I'm afraid, is into the philosophy of "take the money and run". I still would like a little cooperation...please don't marginalize the Season of Hope entrants!  But I think that Melissa and I are of one mind on this...we're bypassing their event.  Instead, we'll get up early this Saturday and check out the weather and the most likely "forecazz" to come true.  Should all bode well, maybe we'll then pay another visit to Depot Park...

Staying Active Through the Fatigue

 I wrote yesterday about my experience of putting together a late Sunday afternoon 4.8-mile neighborhood walk at a brisk (for me) pace.  But since I wasn't keeping up a four-mph pace throughout it, I wouldn't have come anywhere near surviving the established, required pace in Stephen King's (pseudonym Richard Bachman) 1979 early dystopian novel The Long Walk.  In spite of being a bit slower, I was feeling some fatigue as I went through the course.  I don't want to feel that my level of physical fitness is set in a state of decline, so this morning I did some "rock-running" exercise while listening in on foreign language podcasts...that went well.  Now it's past four in the afternoon and I'm back from radiation therapy, having just eaten "for dinner" an Arby's cheddar and beef classic sandwich along with an apple turnover.  I still feel a lot of energy and could do with some more exercise.  Maybe I'll try the rest of the foreign languages and watch a YouTube Rob Dial episode with Russian subtitles.  We're probably expecting some rainfall in our moderately-drought-stricken area in the coming hours, but that's all right since I'm home for the night.  All thanks and gratitude to the Lord, in whose hands I am always and who carries me each and every day.  And my deep love for my wonderful, dear Melissa...

End-of-Month Commentary

 It's the end of another month, so let me just say that, by default, my "song of November" is Garbage's There's No Future in Optimism...it's probably going to be my song of the year for 2025.  I'm a little disillusioned to discover a dearth in 2025 album releases by musical acts I like.  Maybe things will start to improve in 2026.

With running, November wasn't a very active month for me.  My endurance has diminished due to my recovery from October 24th brain surgery...today's 4.8-mile walk was a case in point.  I'm a lot slower in Parkruns, and often feel that it's an accomplishment to just get through the 3.1-mile course.   I still think that in spite of my medical circumstances I gave it the college try.  Staying active through the fatigue...that's the brave way to go...

Tried to Make Something of This Sunday Despite Feelings

 After what amounted to a poor night of sleep, I managed to get on with today, Sunday, the last day in November 2025.  Our friend Lisa paid us a wonderful visit and, after some rest, I set out on my neighborhood walk.  While on the course, I decided to slightly extend the distance to 4.8 miles.  It wasn't a speed walk per se, but I gave it an honest effort as brisk exercise, listening to my phone collection of some favorite songs, arranged as if they were tracks on a double album.  The whole walk was an exercise in fatigue, although the outside temperature remained moderate around 79 degrees with a dry 42% humidity.  Melissa has everything set up now to where, as long as I'm carrying my phone with me, she can determine where I am I on a map...that's reassuring for me.  After the walk (and a deliberately light dinner) my heart rate is getting close to dipping below 90, which is the boundary of Zone One.  Now I've eaten enough for myself and would like to settle down for the evening with a cooler home environment.  Tomorrow I'm due to resume chemotherapy in the morning and radiation treatments in the afternoon. I'm skipping the news, which I think is pretty crappy: is our national motto Make America Grim Again? The wise words of Sting ring out: Our so-called leaders speak.  With words they try to jail you.  They subjugate the meek.  But it's the rhetoric of failure.  MY so-called leaders, that OTHERS elected.  I'm grateful that. at least for today, I didn't have to go out and meet any appointments.  But tomorrow presents a completely different picture.  Not fun, but it's life... 

Walked Gainesville's Depot Parkrun 5K This Chilly Morning

Sometimes on chilly mornings like today the temperatures go down to an uncomfortable level, but throwing on a little cover like a sweater, sweatpants or light jacket will make everything all right.  And then there are times like now when the cold wind probes around my body, inevitably finding the one spot that brings misery.  That's what this morning was like for the Depot Parkrun 5K.  It was around 40 degrees with high humidity and swirling wind when we left for Depot Park, a little south of downtown Gainesville.  Although before leaving home I found a nice protective coat, it still let in some of that piercing cold.  Melissa and I had independently decided to walk today's event, and we stuck together the whole 3.1 miles.  I was in a bit of a grumpy mood, but did what I could to restrain myself from cynical talk.  Folks around at this event were cheery and encouraging.  I liked that the attendance number was much lower than two days ago, but on the third and fourth laps we had to contend with runners doing their laps coming head-on at us along the same narrow path...that was annoying.  Doesn't anyone ever tell these people that they have to share the park with US? I'm so proud of Melissa for braving the elements with such a positive, friendly spirit.  I crossed the finish line at 1 hour seven minutes 38 seconds...you can view the results by clicking HERE.  The night before I suffered from my typical insomnia, which convinced me to show up and walk the race, forgoing running. Next Saturday maybe we'll tackle Depot Park again or try out the Tyler's Hope race, which is a Hawthorne Trail event that starts and ends at southeastern Gainesville's Boulware Springs Park.  Hopefully I'll be in better shape by then and we'll make the right decisions together...

About Parkrun Strategies, What They Say About Themselves and my Retirement Anniversary

Today, Friday November 28th is a day sandwiched between two in which Gainesville is holding its Depot Parkrun 5Ks.  Melissa and I did yesterday's special Thanksgiving event, and we're planning on going back again tomorrow morning.  I usually feel a bit stiff and uncomfortable during the minutes preceding their starts, and if I run the race the first two laps are often grueling.  That's what I felt yesterday, as if I was hauling so much weight with every step that I would soon poop out.  There's a standout, clear explanation for these negative feelings I'm going through.  The weather is usually either too cold or too hot and/or too humid.  But more impactful is the fact that there are too many people attending, and they are really LOUD, TRIBAL (cliquish) and IN MY WAY.  My pre-race priority is to treat it as a running workout and do the 3.1-mile course's four laps, keep true to the pathway and avoid obnoxious (often tribal) people who are liable to interfere with me.  I don't know whether my dear Melissa will walk the event, but I deeply value and appreciate her support.  I don't think anyone else generally going there even remotely understands or cares about the medical predicaments I have been in, either with regard to my prostate cancer from months ago to my currently diagnosed brain cancer, which is now being treated with a six-week regimen of chemotherapy and radiation.  Furthermore, I am NOT upbeat about being expected (by the directors) to act like a cheerleader and perform much clapping pre-race on cue.  Whether Parkrun is a competition or not is problematic and based on the perspective that folks have about it.  Runners are in fact racing each other, as are the walkers, whether they say so or not.  And the posted results rank the finishers in numeric order of finish against each other (by name) while rating their "performances" with percentage numbers implying how they should have done within their gender/age groups: if this isn't COMPETITION then I don't know what is.  Yesterday some 190 attended the Depot Parkrun...way, way too crowded!  I'd much prefer the number to hover around 50. I expect some more insomnia tonight, but maybe if I could just relax...

Since today is the day after Thanksgiving, then had I not retired from 37 years with the United States Postal Service in 2024 when I clocked out of work at ten that evening, I would more likely be starting my retirement tonight after I finished my shift focused on receiving, processing and dispatching registered mail.  I've never felt any regret about retiring when I did, and I am grateful to have absolutely no hassles or concerns about trying to account for what might have been my 2025 medical absences from work had I still been on "active duty" with my official photo identification badge and scan card...  

Walked (and Ran) This Morning's Depot Parkrun 5K

 

It's Thankgiving, so Happy Holiday!  After a night of little sleep, Melissa and I woke up early and readied ourselves for today's special Thanksgiving Thursday edition of Gainesville's Depot Parkrun, taking place just off Depot Road a few blocks south of downtown.  Although I had intended earlier to run the event, I changed my mind before the race and decided to speed-walk as much as feasible.  It was a chilly morning with high humidity when it started, and I'm guessing that well over 150 folks entered and finished it.  My walk was brisk, but apparently not enough for other walkers, one over eighty, from catching up and beginning to pass me.  That's the moment I decided to (moderately) run the rest of the course (minus the hills).  This was uncomfortable and unpleasant, but I felt I could manage the grind to the end.  At the close I finished with a time of 44:21...click HERE to view the posted results.  Melissa drove us down there, and she completed the course with me...I'm so proud of her.  This was my 94th completed Parkrun, and I'm looking forward to making a stalwart attempt to run the next one here on this coming Saturday morning.  It's looks to be an especially cold one this time around...

Running a 5K Race as Immersion into Discomfort Zone

This morning I listened to a podcast by professional personal development coach Rob Dial that discussed people's comfort zones.  Dial, an advocate of seeking out discomfort as a growth mechanism, has stated that one' own comfort zone is where dreams come to die...he's not big on them, to put it lightly.  I tend to agree with this conclusion, although as each day wears on like now, when the late afternoon and early evening begin to make their presence felt, I feel a call on me to take things a little easier and not get strung out on crossing off a list of daily goals.  I haven't been given a promising diagnosis, but despite precautionary limitations after brain surgery, I am still in a pretty good state of physical fitness.  I even think I'm capable of running tomorrow morning's special Thanksgiving edition of Gainesville's Depot Parkrun 5K, treating it as a workout experience.  The goal is to get to a point in it when I feel I can get myself into a running groove that lasts the duration of the event.  This will be true discomfort, but my experiences at Depot Park have taught me that my tendency with 5K races is to get stronger and retain endurance as they progress, especially relative to others running or walking there.  I just walked around our .7 mile block with Melissa and intend to do some more rock-running watching Alex's YouTube posting of his 2022 NYC Marathon experience.  Despite breaks in the continuity of his run, with sections of the course left unposted, the video shows well the spirit of this event, and I appreciated Alex's upbeat attitude throughout.  I'm coming to appreciate more the relative value in my life of training privately, as opposed to measuring my running progress by how well I do in races that post results publicly.  I have two stated goals for tomorrow morning: (1) Show up, and (2) follow through...

Training On Though Therapy Process

 Today was Tuesday, a real weekday just preceding Thanksgiving Day by 48 hours.  It seems that the last two months of the calendar year are stacked with special holidays that appear deliberately designed to disrupt the regular routines of living, including those of school and work.  I'm looking at Thanksgiving morning, just ahead of me, and think sure, I'll make it out to show up at the Gobbler Day Depot Parkrun 5K.  The idea then is that once I'm there and the race begins, I'll give it my best try...that's called "following through".  Today from early on I was meditating on when and for how long I would train in my living room at a zone 1 level, usually listening to foreign language podcasts while doing so.  My training exercise of choice is something I call "rock running".  I rock back and forth, from toes to heels, while moving my arms forward and back as a balancing mechanism.  Today I took this training strategy seriously, doing rock-running for 72 minutes and crediting myself with 7.2 training miles.  As I make this treacherous personal health journey after beginning chemotherapy and radiation treatments for my brain cancer, I often evaluate my subjective state of feeling, such as whether I suffer from any headaches.  Sometimes that plays a discouraging role, but I've never felt fatigue that doesn't naturally come with a day fully and actively lived through.  I'm continuing to hope and pray that this process is successful at fighting back the cancer while my discipline with training brings me encouragement and realistic optimism...

49ers vs. Panthers Game Following Medical Treatment

 On this 24th of November Monday, Melissa took me down to the UF Medical Plaza's Davis Cancer Pavillion where I underwent another round of Radiation Therapy.  Following that I sat in the Lab Draw waiting room until my name was finally called out.  After my blood was somewhat painfully drawn, we ordered a drink from Opus and returned home.  During the evening ABC showed a Monday Night Football game with the San Francisco 49era hosting the Carolina Panthers.  The 49ers currently rate as a wild card team while their opponent, after a slow season start, has been surging in the standings to the point where a victory would vault them into a narrow NFC South Division lead over Tampa Bay. And the way I see it, if the Buccaneers, with their relatively mediocre win-loss record, don't win their division, then they're going nowhere post-season.  Well, San Francisco managed to pull out a victory although Carolina, with their talented young quarterback Bryce Young, although the latter kept his team close.  I really don't like hearing the play-by-play and spirited analysis, so I muted the TV sound.  I don't know whether Tampa Bay will carry their winning record to the end of the regular season, but I also don't see this team progressing far into the playoffs should they qualify for the postseason...

Passing Through Personal Anniversary Dates, for Better or for Worse

So today is November the twenty-third, which according to my memory is right next to two significant dates in my life.  11/22 is, of course, the date of the brutally infamous sniper assassination of president John Fitzgerald Kennedy that occurred early that Friday afternoon in Dallas, Texas 62 years ago...I was seven at the time and just returning to my classroom from lunchtime in the second grade.  The other day is primarily personal: 11/24.  For with the advent of tomorrow morning, it will mark the one-year anniversary of my reckoning with the frustration of not finishing a marathon race on my own terms.  On November 24th, 2024 I hobbled across the finish line at the Mega-Cupcake Marathon in Hawthorne at the eastern end of the Hawthorne Trail.  Then, open entering my car to drive home, my legs suddenly cramped up in extreme pain.  It took upwards to a half hour to be able to relax them enough to bravely attempt to drive the fifteen miles back home on that cold, cold day.  Yet despite the painful cramps, I regard the 24th of November as a very positive date in my personal memory, something to be cherished and appreciated.  Now I'm thinking that only eleven months after that race, my prognosis for a fit, healthy life with some promise for longevity plummeted severely when I underwent brain surgery on October 24th to remove a cancerous tumor (almost all of it, that is). I cringe whenever I hear anyone describe its aggressive nature in medically technical terms, for I am only interested in the ramifications it has in store for me and my future here on Earth.  My hope and prayer is that the treatment I am currently undergoing will stop the disease in its tracks and allow me to return to a fitness lifestyle whereby I could regularly go on training runs for long distances and even enter some of these types of races. By long distance, I mean 15 kilometers (9.3 miles) or longer. The most optimistic scenario has the door opening to me for distances up to marathon (26.2 miles) length.  Still, being a realist is a good thing and, for a while, I'll tolerate having to hear talk about my condition before I speak up for myself and start pissing people off. In the immediate future, the Season of Hope charity organization to help those afflicted with dystonia are continuing, on December 6th, their annual Tyler's Hope 5K.  If I'm able to attend, then sign me up. And in Junuary the Florida Track Club will hold their Mary Andrews Marathon/half marathon event.  I'll try to keep a positive, albeit realistic, attitude going about possibly entering these events.  Still, it's all "one day at a time" for me as I plod ahead with the treatments... 

Walked Gainesville's Depot Parkrun 5K This Morning

This morning the weather was clear, humid and in the upper fifties when Melissa drove us down to Depot Park, just a few blocks south of downtown Gainesville, to participate in the weekly Depot Parkrun 5K.  The good people who run this event emphasize participation over competition, and in my condition, at age 69 with a serious medical situation to contend with, just showing up and taking part is a noble project.  The bird were very, very noisy: lots of crows, grackles and red-wing blackbirds sending out their special, sweet songs.  We decided at the start to walk at a moderate-but reasonable pace.  But this didn't keep the volunteer tail-walker from rushing up and trying to force conversation upon us with aggressively personal questions.  I quickly picked up on this tactic, but sometimes others don't and I think some private medical information about myself was openly divulged...and without my permission.  Anyway, we eventually shook off that dude and did our walk.  At the finish, my time was 1 hour ten minutes three seconds...close to last but not quite.  You can view today's results by clicking HERE.  This time around they got the times correct, and they did credit me with my overall 93rd Parkrun finsish.  This coming Thanksgiving morning on Thursday Depot Park is hosting a special Parkrun, bringing in folks from the West End Community Parkrun area.  I'm looking forward to it...

Continuing with Medical Treatments, Working on Attitude

 So on this Friday, November 21st, I find myself with noontime approaching and a slight headache, although my cold symptoms have lightened a bit.  I took my fourth straight early-morning doses of TMZ capsules for brain cancer chemotherapy and am scheduled for yet another zapping by UF Health's radiiation-therapy brain-zapping machines.  As anticipated, Buffalo did lose last night's game, which is fine with me. At 6:30, the network evening news shows conveyed more and more political outrage as our so-called "leaders" want to execute their critics and even call political allies "traitors" for occasionally disagreeing with them.  For myself, all I want is to just get through this day with a better overall attitude and good prospects for a meaningful Saturday morning Depot Parkrun.  

Stumbling with Routines During Multiple-Holiday Season

 I've been working on getting through this annoying head cold I've been suffering from during the last few days.  With the sinus congestion working on overdrive along with sneeze-triggering irritation in my sinuses and throat, life has not been very enjoyable...especially during the late-night, early-morning hours when I am accustomed to be asleep.  Now we're entering the highly-hyped holiday season, so naturally I feel that the expectations are for me to abandon all of the routines I have established, because Thanksgiving and Christmas, after all, are  "special events" and I'm presumably guilty of something if I want to do things regularly and responsibly, albeit on my own. Tonight on Thursday Night Football, the Buffalo Bills are at Houston to play the Texans.  I don't feel anything approaching the confidence I had in this team to win games as in years before, so I won't be surprised if Houston prevails.  Maybe I'll do some "rock-running" exercises while watching a NYC Marathon virtual YouTube video, or maybe I'll take a break from it all.  It sure would be nice for me to be in "reset" mode whereby the future is open for me to make responsible progress in distance running.  Let's see if that can't happen in the next few weeks of "holiday wonderland":guilty as charged...

Cancer Therapies Continue, Signs (So Far) Show a Little Promise Despite Head Cold

 I've been battling an upper respiratory head cold for the past few days...hopefully, it will abate before long.  But having some sinus congestion and some headaches shouldn't render me completely sedentary.  I began my daily chemotherapy/radiation rounds this past Monday morning, and the whole process...if things go well with it...should last for six weeks (42 days).  I've yet to notice any nausea or fatigue, and the blood draw performed on Monday did not reveal anything disturbing.  So the plan is to continue as before, taking the prescribed morning TMZ capsules and showing up for my radiation appointments.  I'm getting awfully tired of hearing bad news from my health care provider, but I'm not yet even remotely inclined to demean the message or the messengers.  Life is good, but it can get to be a bit of a struggle...

About the Possibility of Writing and Posting Retro-Blog Articles

I've been working on this blog of mine since April of 2007, which is well over eighteen years ago...a long time.  Yet I wonder about whether earlier daily journaling, preserved up to the present day, would have been a preferable writing habit.  My memory is still pretty good, albeit with some gaps regarding specific, detailed information.  There are times in my past when I built up some vivid memories of the then-ongoing events and how I handled them.  Times in high school, college, and at theme parks or the post office are all worth documenting, along with my takes on them.  If you access this blog and see the "first" entry going all the way back to March, 1973, you might conclude that I'm suffering from temporal delusions...I just don't write "today I ran the two-mile race relatively fast but finished dead last" in November, 2025 while posting the comment back to the date I experienced it all.  Still, just for the fun of it, I think this just might be worth the effort...

First Day of Cancer Treatments, a More Positive Attitude

Today marked my first day of cancer treatments, as prescribed by UF Health.  I woke up around six and Melissa already had my anti-nausea pill ready for me to swallow.  An hour later it was TMZ, my first chemotherapy pills (three in all per day, seven days a week).  Since the side effects of chemotherapy treatments tend to be cumulative, I really didn't expect my appetite to drastically decline over the first couple of hours after taking the very first dose.  No fatigue yet, either...Melissa and I did a reasonable 1.7-mile walk through our home neighborhood as well.  In the afternoon I underwent my first radiation treatment, followed by a blood draw and then Publix.  Anticipating dinner, my appetite is still intact...let's see where it goes.  I just wish this gloomy brain cancer diagnosis hadn't just randomly dropped out of the sky on me without any traces of origin from elsewhere in my body...that's not so cool.  But I've learned in a very short time (nearly four weeks since October 21st) to take the time allotted for me in this life one day at a time and to adopt a more patient attitude toward others and my circumstances.  So after posting this, I think I'll brew some decaffeinated coffee and put on my daily serving of outrage news before digging tonight's Monday Night Football contest between the Oakland Los Angeles Oakland Las Vegas Raiders...or wherever else they happen to be playing for the moment... and the Dallas Cowboys...

Enjoyed Watching NFL Football Today

 Anticipating starting on my rounds of chemotherapy and radiation tomorrow, I spent the remainder of Sunday watching NFL football, and even enjoyed a few extra unexpected hours of sleep.  The Miami Dolphins have a penchant for getting stuck with having to play one or two "home" games on their regular season schedule across the Atlantic, usually in England: this morning they played Washington in Madrid, Spain.  Since the Dolphins usually lose these games, I was surprised that they pulled off an overtime field goal victory.  For the rest of the day, teams I supported tended to win more than lose.  If nobody I like gets into the playoffs, then I'll still have some preferences with them as well.  Anyway, enjoy the coming week...

(Mostly) Walked Today's Depot Parkrun 5K

 

I thought that I'd probably go through some insomnia before going with Melissa to this weekend's edition of the Depot Parkrun 5K, held at that location a few blocks south of downtown Gainesville.  Weatherwise, the sky was clear and dipped overnight into the forties.  When the race started at 7:30, it was 47 with 89% humidity.  Planning to speed-walk the course's four laps, I wore a light wind-breaker a long with long sweat pants.  At the start, I found myself going all out with my walking, yet sanother walker was out-walking me.  Eventually I caught up and passed onward.  By the third lap I was jogging through sections of the path that were either level or sloping downward, and pretty much ran the final one (minus the hills, which I walked).  I had already gladly shed my jacket.  My finishing time on my watch was 43:12...click HERE to view the posted results.  I'm certain that there was a terrible mixup with the timekeeping because my time, as I KNOW it, was some 41 seconds faster than what I was credited.  In another year I might have addressed this discrepancy in a polite e-mail, but I'm looking at my primary reason for doing Parkruns nowadays and they always come down to "showing up" and then "following through".  I looked at it all, and concluded that I was honest with myself about doing a strong (for me) Parkrun and decided to let it go.  Good, now let's see how the upcoming week goes and how I feel on November 22nd...

Clemson-Louisville Football Game on Eve of Parkrun

 Seeing that tomorrow morning is Depot Parkrun  5K here in Gainesville and that, anticipating participating in it with Melissa, I usually suffer through a night of insomnia, I settled down this evening in front of the old boob tube to watch Clemson, a recently rare underdog, try to keep up with Louisville in ACC football.  Dabo Sweeney has done well to keep this rebuilding Tigers team playing together as a unit, while the Cardinals, while very talented, tend to make a lot of mistakes.  After their placekicker missed an easy extra point and kicked two makeable field goal attempts wildly to the side, Clemson somehow managed to squeak out a 20-19 road win.  Sweeney was beside himself in ecstasy as if he had just won the national championship again,   But I was tired and just muted the sound and listened to some Amazon Music.  Come tomorrow morning, I predict it to be cold in the forties when the race begins at 7:30, but to quickly warm up as the sun rises...

A Day in My Life Before the Onset of Chemo/Radiation

Sometimes with this blog of my I pick out a specific topic to write about, while on other days I relate what has been going on in my life, and how I feel about it all.  Today it's all about the latter: what's up with me as I approach Day One in my cancer chemotherapy and radiation cycles?  I'm not looking forward to it as it promises to be a monumentally unpleasant experience, yet I'm a bit curious to see how it all turns out.  I haven't been sleeping much at night, although I admit to falling asleep evenings on my living room couch in front of the TV (set on sports).  I tend to arise early in the morning, before sunrise around 4.  Then I brew some coffee and exercise while listening to foreign language radio shows and podcasts.  My favorite stations are Radio France International in French and Chinese and RBB Inforradio, a 24-hour news station in German operating from Berlin.  With podcasts, it's hands-down SBS from Australia, the initials standing for "Special Broadcasting Service".  I get my daily Spanish, Russian and Japanese listening from this great resource.  Then there some self-help podcasts that I watch/listen to on YouTube, getting subtitles of the ongoing program in Russian.  The last couple of days I watched a very slow (but expertly filmed) virtual video on YouTube of "Peter's" first (and possibly final) marathon run, done on the inimitable New York City course through the city's five boroughs.  Then Melissa gets up and, following a little breakfast, I go back to bed to sleep a little more (usually successfully).  Although I tend to tire as the day grinds on, the two of us usually find some time before sunset to walk around our neighborhood block (like today).  It's now a little past six in the evening and I am not at all hungry, although a kind friend of ours arranged to have dinner delivered to our home.  I already told Melissa that I may find myself pushing food away following the start of chemotherapy, and that for those times it would be a good idea to have some good liquid nourishment like Ensure that I could down instead of trying to chew and swallow unappetizing food.  But now is now, and so now I'm going to post this article, shut down the computer and sit back down on the couch for a while.  Good Night!

On Functioning Through Upcoming Cancer Treatments

This late afternoon on our Veteran's Day holiday (I guess I'd be off from work were I not already retired), it is atypically cold here in Gainesville, with temperatures to possibly drop into the upper twenties overnight.  Yet I feel warm, sitting here in this, our nearest Starbucks, sipping on a hot chai tea latte and composing this blog entry. With a delay in  procuring my oncologist-prescribed pill-form daily chemotherapy because of a bureaucratic,  technical pharmaceutical snag (I am blanketed by health insurance coverage), I'm sure that by my planned starting time on the 17th (about 51/2 days from now), it will all be ironed out and I'll be embarking on a six-week-long regimen of difficult brain cancer treatment mixture of chemotherapy and radiation sessions.  I'm not looking forward to what I may need to endure throughout those cycles, but on a deeper level I recognize that it is the responsible course of action.  My big hope (and prayer) is that I'll function adequately throughout the whole experience and will come out of it all in a generally better, more promising state of health.  I wrote earlier of my plan to replace on-the-road distance running with no-impact "rock-running" in the "long run"...for the past three days I have been doing just this.  Maybe this evening I'll do some more while watching Peter's three-year old, excellent You Tube six-hour video of his own (his YouTube channel is titled "The Manor Runs"), admittedly undertrained, initiation into run/walking the New York City Marathon.  I'd also like to see whether anyone else bothered to make a point-of-view, virtual posting of their own experiences in the Big Apple for their special 2025 event.  I have a lot left over in my life to anticipate doing, and returning to running long-distance races is certainly still on the table, right smack in the middle at this writing.  Next January the Florida Track Club has scheduled its annual Mary Andrews Marathon/Half Marathon event to take place on the eastern end of the awesome Hawthorne Trail, starting and finishing from the same spot in Hawthorne. Since their stated course time limit is six hours for the 26.2-mile marathon, I feel confident that, should I enter the race for a half-marathon and finish a bit over three hours, they would still be around to record and post my finishing time there (they'll still be around waiting for the marathoners).  My main task will be convincing Melissa to drive me there and back.  And that totally depends on how I do with my upcoming cancer treatment. Just speaking based on my current so-called "athletic" state, my speed-walking space has slowed down quite a bit within a short timespan...maybe I'll pull off a faster Depot Parkrun 5K this coming Saturday should we go down there.  Beyond this, though, there is a bigger picture for me to see and apply: tackling the approaching treatment bravely and being grateful for the opportunity to undergo it, while minimizing becoming emotionally distraught over the possible difficulties arising from potential or expected side effects. It's going to be a rocky road, to be sure..     

Just Back from Prep MRI Visit at UF Health

Today Melissa took me down to the University of Florida Health Medical Plaza...and the adjacent Davis Pavillion...on Archer Road to get an MRI scanning and have my plastic radiation face mask applied and sized,  The plan now is for me to start my chemotherapy/radiation cycles on Monday, November 17 in the same location.  The MRI, which I just underwent for the third time in some three weeks, isn't bad.  It's just that I'm not at all happy being sonically bombarded for upwards to a half hour with loud, harsh, grating metallic noise coming from the machine as it does its magnetic resonance imaging.  Well, the folks there, who were very considerate and helpful, seemed satisfied with the results.  As were the technicians who drew my blood afterwards.  It seems that blood tests will be a regular, ongoing feature of my cancer therapy...I don't want any  counts deemed especially significant to get too low or too high.  As for me right now, the day has been wearing on and it's mid-afternoon already.  I plan to exercise some more before slowing down and then let the evening put me into more of a sleepy mode.  By the way, go Dolphins!  Regarding exercise, I'm thinking about completely modifying my mode of athletically inclined physical activity by substituting my own invented routine, "rock-running", for slow long-distance runs while maintaining a more cautions "wait and see" attitude about entering these types of public races.  It should keep my VO2 Max level and cardiovascular fitness at a higher level and save a lot of wear and tear on my legs' soft tissue...

Possible Side Effects of Upcoming Cancer Treatments

Well, it looks as if I'm about to embark on a series of troubling treatments for my diagnosed cancer, starting with tomorrow's facial mask fitting at the UF Medical Plaza for my upcoming rounds of radiation.  In conjunction with that future scenario, full of predicted possible side effects including fatigue, nausea and constipation, one of my physical therapists yesterday paid us a house visit.  His intentions were spot-on although I had some difficulty understanding the technical jargon he used about getting a new exercise bicycle and walking aid.  It's going to be a test of my will to stand steady in the midst of adversity.  I've already written that I'll be focusing on simple things like showing up and following through, without getting hung up on levels of achievement.  Since at this stage I'm not envisioned as a "resident" hospital patient, I'll be taking on more personal responsibility for the needed self-care that will be greatly enhanced by that which my sweet Melissa will be providing me.  Standing up, successfully navigating the toilet and cleaning (and drying) myself in the shower are basic functional activities that fatigue and stressors on my digestive system could well challenge in terms of my ability to follow through with them.  Also, staying active regarding physical exercise...including future weely Parkrun 5Ks...has been a suggestion from my oncologist.  I think it's important to "will" myself into action, at least on a short-term basis, once the effects of my treatment begin to sink in.  I don't know the exact date my chemotherapy/radiation will begin, but I hope to be ready for it as the almost certainly unpleasant routine settles in...

Today's Depot Parkrun 5K: Showed Up, Followed Through

 

After skipping Gainesville's free weekly Depot Parkrun for two weeks in a row (morning after brain surgery on 10/25, staying home as cautionary measure on 11/1), Melissa drove me down there this morning to walk the 3.1-mile course.  Meeting us there was our dear friend Kim, who is in great shape and had no trouble keeping up with me throughout the event.  It was around 60 degrees with near-100% humidity...a little chilling to begin with.  There were a lot of folks there, making it often a little tedious going down the path while trying to avoid others.  Kim is a great conversationalist, meaning that she is a great listener.  I talked a lot, but found over the span of the race that it kept me from accelerating into my current fastest walking pace.  Hardly sweating any, I finished it with a time of 56:06 with my weight gain into the 180's holding me back.  I'm guessing that I could have lightly jogged through most of it and garnered a better finishing time, but I'm also being cautious about any possible jarring to my head.  Afterward, we went to our nearby Dunkin' Donuts for some coffee and doughnuts.  I'm very glad for this experience and look forward to the possibility in going at it again a week from now.  I did notice during our walk the very noisy grackles and red-wing blackbirds, who were concentrated in tree branches in the nature section of the park.  You can view today's results by clicking HERE.  Instead of straying into too much competitiveness regarding this event, I focused on the priorities of showing up and following through to the end, which I think I succeeded in accomplishing this morning...

More Procedures, Oncologist Consult Today

Today Melissa and I went to have my the staples in my surgical scar on the top of my head removed...the procedure, a little painful, went very quickly and smoothly. Later on we consulted with our new radiation oncologist, who discussed with us the ins and outs and ups and downs of my future sessions.  Before all of  this ensues in the coming week or two, I'll need for them to fit a plastic mask for my face and undergo an MRI to more exactly pinpoint where it is that they will want to aim their radiation beams.  Since I went "all in" for state-of-the-art medical treatment to combat this scourge, I will comply with the directives coming down my way.  To the future (and beyond)...

Oncologist Visits Today and Tomorrow

 Earlier today...still during late afternoon...Melissa and I met on Zoom computer-video conference with my UF-Health oncologist to discuss my current brain cancer status and lay out the scenario for my future chemotherapy and radiation treatments.  Although the discussion at times seemed prolonged and avoiding progress, it was a good overall experience.  Tomorrow I'm scheduled to get my surgical scalp staples removed, followed by a consult with a radiation oncologist to discuss the future treatment plan and possible side effect drawbacks.  I'm looking forward to some good future outcomes...

Question of Engaging in Parkruns While Under Cancer Treatment

As far as my ongoing condition as a brain cancer patient is concerned, I recognize that I do not have extensive specialized technical schooling and training as a medical student or resident physician.  But I am fluent in my own language and can reason things out, given a reasonably simple explanation of my condition and the available options at my disposal to improve it. It looks as if I will soon be driven often to receive oncological treatment, either in the form of chemotherapy or radiation.  That's bound to cause some adverse side effect reactions from me, so I could use help with loved ones encouraging my activity and physical fitness in the face of what may look to be a grueling, extended period of time. My hope is to return to a fitness level in which I can effectively participate in the weekly Parkrun events, two of which are held in the Gainesville area. I just don't need anyone trying to talk me out of a swath of my remaining life here on Earth with overly technical scare-language.  Neither am I interested in following hyper-competitive elitists who just don't understand the larger issues in these events.  If you're a fast boy between 11 and 14, you have your whole life ahead of you...go ahead, run fast and be happy. I just turned 69 and am generally considered "beyond employment".  Let the competitors in these Parkruns try to beat each other (and me) out: just dispense with your sarcasm and move on if you haven't anything positive to contribute...   

America (and Florida's) Fascism

Just before the 2024 presidential election took place a year ago, Donald Trump's first White House chief of staff, John Kelly, warned the nation that Trump is a fascist and that people who voted for him are assenting to fascism in the ensuing four years.  Since then I've noted, on the biased FoxNews channel, assorted hacks trying to discredit people who label the current administration as fascist, claiming that they were speaking from ignorance and didn't understand what the term meant.  I don't have a detailed scientific definition of fascism at my disposal, but I recognize when a party or movement emphasizes strongman control of their "territory" over adherence to democratic principles like respecting election results.  I think my current Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, is a fascist for this reason as he seems determined to stonewall the overwhelming result of Gainesivlle's local referendum on returning its utility,GRU, to local administrative management.  They're set to file suit to prevent the utility from returning to city commission control...DeSantis only respects election results that go his way. Still, he has his apologists like current GRU CEO Ed Bielarski, who likes to play the fascist game of lecturing people about the dangers of majority rule.  Likewise, Trump wants to make as a priority the drastic restriction of general voter eligibility so that he can manipulate future elections in his favor...and if he loses, then it's all rigged and he has his pet Proud Boys militia group to go cry to. The dude is a right-wing extremist dictator wannabe, making him a fascist in my mind. Likewise, I'm not convinced that newly elected New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani won't cause trouble if he can't just speak desired law changes into effect with his charming, charismatic voice and smile.  I see these elected politicians as public servants, not MY leaders.  If they get the notion into their heads that I need to get into a kneeling position to be their sycophant, then they represent a disturbing turn in the way politics is practiced in this country.  Is America fascist yet?  We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.  I just don't need some freakazoid with a swollen ego lecturing ME about the proper posture to take toward HIM...

Today's Off-Year Election Raises Concerns

Today, the first Tuesday in November, 2025, is a traditional election day in an off-year sense.  It's not a presidential election year and US Senate and state governor races are held in even-numbered years, not this one.  Yet in many localities, mine included, there was at least one measure on the ballot left to the voters to decide.  The results of the question of returning Gainesville's local utility, GRU, to management by its elected commission, will be revealed in a little while.  Meanwhile, there is the election of New York City's mayor to consider.  Andrew Cuomo, who I think should really be president right now, is struggling to catch up with upstart left wing radical Muslim sympathizer Zohran Mamdani, darling of the current opinion polls.  Mamdani, smug and arrogant, always seems to be wearing one of those smiles that never reaches his eyes: his viciousness creeps me out.  Even Trump, in my opinion the worst failure of a president I have experienced, was right when he endorsed Cuomo over Mamdani. But I expect the latter to be voted in to office as the results pour in.  In any event, I have little faith in my own governor in reaction to the Gainesville referendum: government in America is broken and DeSantis will stonewall the results with his own brand of arrogance.  Now for me it's on to life and living it...I'm off the clock with the elections...

Looking Forward to My First Walking Parkrun Following Surgery

As I tackle each day in my post-brain surgery life from early morning onward, I find that I always have choices about how I live.  For example, today I got up and dutifully engaged in about one hour of zone one cardio level while listening to foreign languages on TV.  Later, Melissa and I together did a moderately-paced 1.4 mile walk around the adjacent block in our home neighborhood.  Throughout this time, I felt quite fit enough to walk a 5K event.  That's interesting because, the way I've been seeing it, my medical providers have lately been taking an overcautionary, almost enfeebling approach when it comes to giving me the "OK" for publicly-available racing events such as Parkrun.  They are held each Saturday morning (two locations in the Gainesville vicinity) and stress attendance and fitness over competition and eliteness.  Under pressure for the sake of my medical state, I skipped this past Saturday's Parkrun although I was confident of being able to complete the course without negative repercussions.  This coming Saturday morning will also have Parkrun, and I'm hoping that my health provider won't stand in my way of participating in it.  My intention is to simply walk the Depot Park 4-lap course at a reasonably brisk pace...no running to happen here anytime soon.  Also, my planned ventures are confined to Parkrun events and will exclude others conducted the the Florida Track Club and Tyler's Hope.  We'll see what happens... 

Early Voting on GRU Control Today

Today represented the final day in Florida for early voting before this coming Tuesday's election day.  The only matter up for a vote on my part is the question of whether the locally elected Gainesville city government can regain operational and financial control of Gainesville Regional Utilities.  In his shameless plot to defame opposition Democratic Party officeholders as being irresponsible and corrupt, our dictator/governor Ron DeSantis removed GRU from local control and gave it to a purely Republican hand-picked committee.  When they tried putting this measure on the ballot, he sued to stop the vote (and lost)...DeSantis is a dyed-in-the-wool anti-democratic demogogue who should have been thrown out of office for mishandling the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020-21...I believe many in Florida died of this pandemic because of his incompetence.  He doesn't want you or me voting, and I predict that this question, which I predict will easily pass, will garner his focus as he will do whatever he can to sabotage it.  This dude does not represent me or my interests in any way, shape or form.  Melissa drove us to our public library branch building for the early voting, which went off very smoothly with all the workers demonstrating competence and politeness toward us.  If the Republicans hadn't been so deadset against people getting to vote on something, this might have been a reasonable issue to discuss on its merits.  Well, I got up early this morning and exercised a bit.  Now I'm tired and still have a lap around the block to walk.  Still, I'm glad I voted, for what it was worth...

My October, 2025 Running, Etc., Report

Long before October, 2025 came around, I had written much of it off regarding running and speed walking, at least in the context of participating in public racing events.  Melissa and I were gone on our cruise on Saturday the fourth and eleventh, and looking back the only available day for me last month turned out to be on the 18th.  That was the time I walked three fourths of the Depot Parkrun course, running the final lap.  And then a medical emergency slammed into my life, with the following available Parkrun Saturday taken up by me recovering from intense brain surgery, bedded down in the hospital's intensive care unit.   My brain, it seems, is doing fine right now although I don't know which direction we're going with it in the longer run.  I'm not driving (although I feel fully capable), depending on Melissa to transport me around as per our understanding.  I'd like to participate in Parkruns this month, starting on the 8th, but that depends in large part on how she's doing with the idea when the opportunity arises.  The Florida Track Club is holding its annual Tom Walker half-marathon out on a revised course featuring the Hawthorne Trail...that may be a little too rough of a task for me to take up.  As for my fitness, I can work out at home or do neighborhood walks.  But with these my body is more or less hostage to the outer events taking place around me.  So I guess I'll be exercising some in the house while trying to avoid getting carried away with heavy activity.  Oh, by the way, that NYC Marathon is set to begin early tomorrow morning, for the 50,000+ entrants who managed to scramble aboard in it.  Who knows whether I'll ever be in it. I need to focus on the present and avoid letting things get ahead of me...

Skipping Today's Parkrun 5K

Last night my sleep was fitful, with my FitBit watch registering the experience at a "poor" 53.  Had Melissa and I arisen at the same general, normally-early time and concurred on attending this morning's Depot Parkrun 5K...just a few blocks south of downtown Gainesville...we'd have suited up and walked the event's four laps, getting our barcodes scanned and finishing (walking) times posted online...to view them click HERE.  To be sure, I was already outspokenly confident that I could easily cover the 3.1 miles...it was just a matter of "how fast".  Well, we skipped it and enjoyed breakfast together at home.  Later I checked the posted results, noting how similar they were to previous trends even with today's much cooler temperatures in the forties.  We just came back from our neighborhood walk: 2 laps totaling 1.4 miles in 26:23 (not that I was racing).  Earlier today a registered nurse doing physical therapy visited our home and we sorted out the facts of my ongoing condition.  Hopefully, by early Saturday morning on the 8th, Melissa and I will be ready to resume our weekly Parkrun adventures.  In the meantime, I'm stuck with overhyped college football games on TV: I don't care who wins or loses, but I'm sick and tired of the loud, overemotional hype and stupid commercials presented in hip-hop.  This evening, baseball's World Series finishes with the deciding Game Seven between the LA Dodgers and Toronto Blue Jays.  I have nothing at stake with the outcome, so whatever. Later on this coming week, my scalp's staples should be removed, allowing for a tighter sealing of my skin on my head.  My appetite's good, digestion seems to be working, and I'm very happy to NOT be expected anytime soon at work. I would just like to enter a phase in my life in which I can establish some regular routines without "special events" imposing themselves on me and interrupting my initiative and actions. Oh, one other thing.  The Democrats in my Gainesville area installed a ballot initiative for voters to decide on whether the local public utility should be locally-run instead of by the dictator-DeSantis-controlled state government.  The fascists sued to keep it off the ballot (they don't want my vote to count for anything), but this Tuesday we can go down and vote on the measure, for all the good that will do if it passes.  When I walk into the voting room, I expect to be thoroughly scrutinized and harassed by hostile, partisan poll workers...

Coming Up on Cool, Pleasant Weekend

 On this final day of October, 2025, I find the outside to be cooler and windier...and much sunnier.  I am continuing to recover from my brain surgery of exactly a week ago, with further potential treatment options forthcoming.  Predictably, tomorrow morning will be yet another Saturday, planted in local tradition with the weekly Parkruns I've grown habituated to attending (I've completed 90 events since 2019).  The distance involved is 5K (3.1 miles), and I feel I can easily cover all of the required four laps through the park walking.  Yet Melissa has her doubts based on how she sees my current state of being, and I'm inclined to go along with her final recommendation on the subject...at least for this upcoming weekend..although I am on an overall higher level of physical fitness.  My outlandish-looking head-top surgery staples should be removed from my sorry old scalp sometime late next week, and until then I'm consigned to dealing with the headaches arising from that earlier procedure.  My endurance and sense of balance are fine, and I think I'd enjoy a nice, noncompetitive Parkrun walk with the temperatures in the forties.  But this involves getting up early in the morning and being "on time" for the 7:30 start while making sure I'm wearing their barcoded wristband.  I think Depot Park is a nice location, and we can always get some coffee afterwards. In any event, I want to be positive and proactive with my recovery. I want my future to contain some realistic promise for it and see this weekend as an opportunity to better my condition.  I do so much need some respite from this dreary diagnosis.  As for posting links of my blog articles to my page on Facebook, I've abandoned that notion after this site (that is so lax with security protections) blocked me yesterday. Facebook isn't working for me, and I won't work for it, ever again.  And if anyone trolls me for a comment I post on it, they're getting it right back in their face...

Dunkin' Treats and Song of the Month

 It's a pretty, clear, cool and windy day outside this afternoon on Halloween Eve, and I am now sitting in the dining room at my Chromebook writing this.  Melissa just drove me over to our nearby Dunkin' for some of their fancy coffee and a half dozen doughnuts, all set up while Jewel's big hit Standing Still was being piped through the store's sound system.  Afterwards, I finished my daily foreign language copying sentence-by-sentence...it's fun to see how much I can put together and derive meaning from.  So today I'll be mentioning my "song of the month"for October 2025: Garbage's There's No Future in Optimism.  It's the fourth straight month I've picked this British alternative rock group, fronted by Shirley Manson, for the honor.  Starting with the repeated phrase "If you're ready for love", Shirley then goes off on a message of standing firm in creative love in the face of social disruption and societal breakdown: the ultimate "drop out" song.  The most profound lines in it are, "There is no future that can't be designed

With some imagination and a beautiful mind"  The idea Is that none of us have to ride the momentum thatcan build up hatred, protest and adversityif we allow for that to happen...we can simply stop on a dime and turn around.  Since I don't see anything of value being released during the next two months in 2025, I'm guessing that There's No Future in Optimism will be my Song of the Year for 2025.  It's a song that I think the Beatles could have made into a hit back in 1969 had they not broken up and if George Harrison...whose voice resembled that of Manson's...had written it and promoted its recording.  After all, that was the time right after John Lennon proposed to Paul McCartney that the band members each contribute four tracks to their next album...and Paul was too exhausted from his daughter's recent birth to seriously consider it. I could have done well with the Fab Four remaining a unit and coming out with a few relatively mediocre albums over the next two or three years...oh, well.  As for Yours Truly, I am bent on recovery from my October 24th surgery, and am subsequently being stubborn in pushing for a better, longer, and higher-quality existence during the time left for me here on Earth.  God bless all of you...

October Dinginess at Starbucks

Please read this as a "mood" piece...

On this dingy, climatically unpleasant day in late October, I am sitting here at my nearest Starbucks, driven here by Melissa after the health care authorities at the hospital enjunctioned me against driving for a while. The business is slack and the workers are right now inactive, standing around talking.  I don't like the corporate music being piped through above me, but the cinnamon dolce latte Melissa ordered for me is very good.  I remember years ago when I could walk into this place and sit at a high black-top rectangular study table that resembled high school chemisty lab, quickly lighting into my reading and writing.  Coffee shops used to be good places to go to just sit and think, but in the most recent years I've usually felt the urge to get up and leave after only a few minutes there.  There's this creepy sense of being under someone else's negative scrutiny, and I'd rather be in a place that accommodates my desired privacy without any feeling of an impending deadline for the stay.  So sitting comfortably at home, my head leaning back on a soft pillow, seems more attractive: maybe I can slip into a nice nap!  On the other hand, why not just pass up on Starbucks and sit at the dining room table from here on? With my medical issues I don't see circumstances improving in the near future.  With me and my afflictions, at least for these recent times, my negative reactions have arisen from their treatment and not directly from the afflictions themselves.  So here I am at Starbucks, a recently-turned 69 year old man with a horribly hideous surgical scar streaking across the top of my head, just barely under the cover of hair.  Welcome, Halloween! I am grateful to be able to be at home, finally released from hospital confinement.  I can still exercise, which I do through no-impact movements that raise my heart rate to zone-like levels: that's good.  Well, I am committed to a light shower later on today, and then it's the couch for me.  I really deeply love and appreciate my dear Melissa, as well as our sweet, silly uptight mixed-breed rescue dog Daisy, who I call "Little Pee Wee"...

Recovering from Grave Brain Surgery: Life is Fragile

 No expectations.

I am retired, with a memory of colleagues who passed on soon after they finished their careers...one died while still employed and looking ahead to retirement.  Physically, I am in very good condition and have a lot of cardiovascular endurance.  Unfortunately, I have cancer.  Brain cancer.  And it seems to be terminal.  It wasn't diagnosed until exactly a week ago when Melissa drove me to the UF Health emergency room, where they did the ct-scan on my head that showed the golfball-size tumor.  Without ever going home, I was medically transported to the Shands Neurosurgery building off SW Archer Road.  The brain surgery was performed early Friday afternoon there by Dr. Koch and his able team.  The tumor's analysis confirmed its malignancy and aggressive nature. After experiencing an absolutely unncessary psychologically traumatic night in their intensive care unit under the control of bullying RN Antonio, I was deemed recovered enough to (gratefully) transfer to a "normal" med-surgical floor, where I stayed another night before being discharged yesterday.  I'm at home, now, very well-cared for by my sweet Melissa, and am sitting in the dining room typing on this Google Chromebook.  My plan is to take each day as it comes, speak frankly with love, and enjoy the life I have left coming to me.  It's fragile, way too fragile for my tastes!  So, I'm happy that the Dolphins, Dodgers, Buccaneers and Mississippi Rebels all won...but it would have been okay had they lost.  In my present life, my priority is to maintain myself in a positive mental attitude and to encourage recovery while minimizing my head pain without seeking any chemical dependence.  Peace is a wonderful thing, and I'm grateful that Melissa is here with me providing it..

Fatigue and Headaches Dampening Activity for Today

Yesterday, Sunday, was marked by raininess in my area.  I had entertained the notion of taking a brisk walk through the neighborhood, but felt sleepy early on and had a headache...probably stemming from the hormone injection I took a few weeks ago.  After finally awakening and walking about, I found the television choices to be too limited for my tastes: the channel selector blocked my ability to pick good, old Harry Potter features.  And the NFL football wasn't very attractive, either, with only the Dallas/Washington game offering any real enjoyment.  In the evening, that Toronto/Seattle playoff game wasn't very interesting, and it looked as if the Blue Jays were going to extend their series to a seventh and final game.  I'm sitting here a little past five in the morning with my K-cup of coffee and another headache after some fitful attempts at sleep last night...hope today brings more activity and better feelings.  The oncologist said that my hormone and radiation treatments could very well cause fatigue, but that I should intentionally be active in the face of the urge to avoid any physical exertion.  Looks as if I'll be doing some uncomfortable exercises (glad I mowed the yard Saturday)...

Sleepiness and Headaches, Probably Medically Induced, Cloud My Day

After attending church with Melissa this morning, we went to a nearby, very noisy Newberry restaurant for breakfast.  The French toast meal was delicious, but with my headaches and drowsiness I found myself in a state of wanting to curl up into a ball and sleep off the next few hours.  The church service itself, although conducted in good taste, was itself an ordeal to get through...I just wanted to sit back in my cushioned chair and close my eyes.  I think tomorrow, along with willing myself into doing some exercise, I'll make a visit to a local coffee shop for some study and, perhaps, writing.  And I'll make a point of studiously avoiding the propaganda TV channels designed to manipulate my feelings according to their biases.  Just keep brewing some coffee and sit at the table...and try to ignore the rain pouring down outside...

Speed-Walked 3/4 of Today's Depot Parkrun 5K

Early this morning just before sunrise, the temperature was a cool 55 degrees with a high 94% humidity.  Such were the conditions for today's Depot Parkrun 5K, held there just south of downtown Gainesville.  My focused intention for today's event was clear: walk briskly for the distance, no matter what my finishing time is.  I got down there, and for the first two laps I gave it an honest, good effort...but my "halfway" time was only 22:17 and I was starting to feel a little tired.  Still, I stuck it out walking the whole third lap. It was that final .7 mile for the last lap when I broke into a moderate run, picking up the pace as I approached the race's end.  I finished with a time of 43:09...you can view today's results by clicking HERE. Later on this morning, starting at ten, some local political malcontents are going to stage another anti-Trump protest rally, which I've heard erroneously equated with "democracy in action": the fools! I'm not going there, choosing instead to take a little break at my nearby Dunkin' store before heading back home to rest a little bit.  And then begins the rest of the day. As for today's Depot Parkrun, there were a lot of participants, and it all went pretty smooth.  The main thing is that I showed up and gave it a strong effort.  I wonder how many people attended today's West End Community Park Run: it's usually a lot fewer (and was, at 60)..

Another Anti-Trump Protest Rally Tomorrow Morning

 It looks as if, tomorrow morning around ten, Gainesville will once again be participating in the nationwide "no Kings" network of protest rallies.  The one here will take place at Cora Roberson Park on SW 6th Street near Depot Park.  I haven't yet decided whether to attend it.  Instead of carrying signs and making speeches, I think the wiser strategy depends on me conscientiously attending and voting in every available election, picking the candidate (or policy) that resonates the most with my felt political leanings (Democratic or Republican). I've resolved to stick with the Democratic candidates available on the ballot, and although I deplore the general apathy and lack of participation on the part of the electorate, the results speak for themselves.  If the Democrats do surprise everyone by taking back the House of Representatives and the US Senate in the 2026 November elections, I fully expect them to fail to take advantage of their victories when in power.  No, most likely they will start hearings critical of the Republicans' actions during the first two years of Trump's second term as president and to initiate legislation packed into stimulus mega-bills costing untold billions of dollars.  I don't watch FoxNews and don't plan to do so anytime soon.  My political ways are set, and although I'll continue to assess and vote, I won't let myself get bent out of shape over election results...   

While I Follow the Major League Baseball Playoffs on TV

 During the last few days I've been following the Major League Baseball postseason playoffs. Teams will win and teams will lose...my main focus is how each game unwinds, from an inning-to-inning perspective as the pitchers try to throw pitches that the hitting side cannot swing around. Right now it looks like the Los Angeles Dodgers, with their cast of ace starting pitchers headlined by lefty Blake Snell, are on the doorsteps of the World Series as they are only a victory away from sweeping into elimination the Milwaukee Brewers.  Whenever a Dodger hitter manages to get a double and he's standing happy on second base, he'll go into a celebratory routine of waving his arms and hands over his head while lightly swaying his hips from side to side. The whole act seems kind of dorky to me, but it also looks cute and helps me to want to root for this team to succeed. invariably, during a game I'll find myself pulling for one side to prevail.  It's when they're in the field that I sometimes find myself frustrated if "my' pitcher finds himself incapable of keeping his pitches within the strike zone. It's that lack of pitching placement control that makes me want to change the channel.  My team will either win or lose...I have no stake in the outcome, material or not.  But I have little patience for a player who seems bent on forfeiting his chances that he obviously had trained long and hard to optimize. And batters at this elevated level seem to be more savvy about avoiding swinging at pitches that tend to curve out of the strike zone.  An effective pitcher will test the limits to which he can place his pitches without being called for a ball, and challenging the batter to hit a pitch within the strike zone is definitely on the table as a viable strategy. You don't just stand there on the mound and load up the bases...    

Preparing for Upcoming Radiation Treatment

I went to my oncologist radiation office this morning to get sized up for the upcoming rounds of radiation treatment aimed at reducing, if not eliminating, the presence of residual microscopic cancer in the area of my body where my prostate used to be.  For me, the actual radiation sessions will take a back seat to the process of getting down there daily (and back) for seven weeks.  I've already been experiencing poor sleep and headaches from the hormone injection that is supposed to set up this radiation treatment. May it all come out well...

Talking Current Local Weather and Sports

 Here in northern Florida following our return from the recent cruise, the weather has mellowed a bit, with temperatures colder and the air dryer and more comfortable.  No recent rain either, and none is forecast for the near future.  My main issue has been avoiding intense sun glare.  Doesn't look like we'll be seeing any clouds providing the desired shade.  My recent overnight headaches have subsided considerably, temporarily or not.  I am seeking to return to a regular pattern of exercise while being more careful about what I eat.  Maybe a little later on I'll take a neighborhood walk, and then I'll see what's on TV regarding the baseball playoffs.  I have my preferences as to who wins them, but it's also all right, win or lose, if the games are played well.  I'll be happy whether Seattle, Toronto, Milwaukee or the Los Angeles Dodgers end up advancing to the World Series...they all had great 2025 seasons.  As for "my" local Florida Gators football team, struggling with a 2-4 record so far, they play their homecoming contest this Saturday against Mississippi State, a team they should be able to defeat with a strong performance.  Maybe the Gators will end up the regular season bowl-eligible.  In any event, it looks like head coach Billy Napier's final season at the helm.  Good...I don't expect UF to win the national title every year, but I do expect a higher level of play from them than I usually see.  Maybe next year we'll get a better coach...  

Back in Town from Cruise

Back in town from our week-long Caribbean cruise, I am adjusting to "regular" life here in Gainesville.  First things first: my Toyota car battery is dead, so I'll have to work on getting the vehicle running again.  Also, the final few mornings on the cruise had me waking up with headaches, some of them slow in going away as the day progressed.  This morning my headaches were difficult and I'm still experiencing them to an extent...they've been interfering with my sleep quality.  I think the reason for the pain is most likely due to side effects from my recent (oncologist-prescribed) hormone shot.  The cruise itself was a mix of fun and annoyance.  For one thing, each day I had to work on "getting through the day" by being at certain places by certain times.  Whenever the ship docked into port somewhere, the question was whether Melissa and I would go ashore and possibly even take up on one of their excursions.  In CuraÇao we paid for a trolley tour of the capital city of Williamstad.  It was miserably hot and muggy, not a breeze anywhere among the searing sun.  We did step out the next day in Aruba, walking a bit down the streets and doing a little shopping.  For the final stops at Cabo Rojo in the Dominican Republic and at CocoCay in the Bahamas, we remained on our boat.  The Dominican excursion turned out to be nothing more than a slipshod, cruddy reduced theme park and CocoCay happened in the middle of a prolonged rainstorm.  I thought the people working the cruise were helpful and friendly.  We liked the food and I enjoyed the Starbucks on board for their caramel macchiatos and chai tea lattes. I did use the ship's fitness center treadmill for some speed-walking training.  But I never tried its rock climbing feature, nor did we ever venture into one of the usually-packed swimming pools.  I'm happy to be back home again...

Excursion About to Start

And now has come the time for Melissa and I to embark on our planned Caribbean excursion.  First we stay overnight at a hotel near the dock (after driving down there) and then, on the 3rd, we board our ship and "set sail".  Looks like we dodged a tropical storm by a week, although there is another system hanging around off the Florida east coast while the boat is still in port.  I'm looking forward to reaching both hotel and ship, and taking time at each stop to take a good rest...

October Now...for Better or Worse

So it's October...let's see what I can make of this month, when I turn 69, the same age David Bowie reached when he died of liver cancer two days after his January 2016 birthday.  I don't know what all is in store for me, but I have already defined my enemy: those who deliberately set themselves as obstacles to my daily existence.  In other words, drama-queen prima-donnas. I'm already NOT looking forward to this contrived Grief Share "support" group that meets Wednesday evenings at a nearby church.  It's one of the sad life lessons I've learned that folks, when they get old, tend not to become wiser but rather entrench themselves even more in trying to set themselves apart and higher than others around them, acutely conscious of their "pecking order" status.  So I guess I'll go there and humor these deluded fools.  I think, though, that I'd rather just stay at home and spend the time preparing for our upcoming cruise.  I'm seriously considering writing separate daily articles through October 10th and then, after returning, "back-posting" them on this blog.  Or maybe not. I'm wondering, since I'll generally be avoiding the news shows on TV, whether I'll be spared some of this accursed fascist president's antics as he continually seeks to be the center of attention and controversy. And I suppose that there is another enemy out there: the completely effed-up, morally bankrupt weapons nut who feels justified at settling scores by going after random people in public. Has my country lost its collective mind?  Doesn't look so good, let's see how the high seas do for a few days...