With Today's Chemotherapy Experience Comes Hope for Future

 This morning I walked around my home block (.7 mile). At first there was an elderly man ahead of me walking his old dog, which often would stop and sniff around in the off-road grass.  Finally, along the street after rounding the block's far end, he took his buddy back up, into ttheir house...leaving me alone to complete my exercise chore.  I slow-ran the last half-block, jogging past houses with brief walking breaks.  This strategy looks to be very promising..I wonder if it will help me complete Parkruns in the reasonable future. Later this afternoon Melissa drove me down to the UF Health Davis Cancer Pavilion off Gale Lemerand Drive.  There they drew my blood and took a urine specimen, then provided an IV chemotherapy Avastin infusion.  I'm back home now, feeling fine except for creeping anxiety about how my medical providers see the extent of my brain cancer, along with future prospects for my life and its quality.  I deeply wish that there will be no explosive growth of tumors like what happened to me in September and most of October last year, but we'll just have to wait and see what happens in the weeks and months to come. So I'm still hanging in there, wishing and praying for your health and, God willing, that my cancer will diminish and that my daily life will be fulfilling and marked by a high level of muscular  energy and cardiovascular fitness.Stay healthy, friends...

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Considering Fitness and Brain Cancer this Very Early Morning

 Praise the Lord and Melissa, since last October when she insisted I go to tht NW 39th Avenue UF Health emergency roombecause of headaches and incoherent behavior, resulting in emergency extensive brain surgery leading to an aggressive brain cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy and radiation. I've been enthusiastic and prompt about accepting my oncologists' prescribed treatment plans. T o be sure, there have been some side effects from all this, including a lowered level o cardiovascular physical fitness that has limited my endurance in general life, especially with regard to Saturday morning Parkrun 5K events. Last Saturday morning I finished walking my first full 5k since January 10th, and This coming event, come rain or shine, promises to be another successful finish.  I like to keep an optimistic perspective on my health and fitness...yet I feel that a  bomb was randomly dropped on me just to thoroughly disrupt my life and hopes for a future self,alive and thriving on this Earth at my ageof 69.  I've heard from doctors and a nurse practitioner doleful predictions of just a few months more life expectancy for myself due to past rapidly growing gbm malignant tumors...will they start up again, escalating to another crisis?  This spring and summer, if I am assiduous in my training and careful about hydration and recovery, promises me a lot of progress with running strength and walking power and endurance, enough to successfully handle upcoming long distance races... including those run by the Florida Track Club, not just the Parkrun organization.  I know that, going through the tragedy of my son Will's passing in 2024, i was then in sound physical shape if you account for my cancer alarms starting to go off.  I know that glioblastoma can come back, and my UF Health physicians need some close consulting in case they decide to embark on a path of further treatments, which could well entail more surgery.. the idea is to fight this scourge and not just survive, but to thrive.  Well, it looks like the back yard is calling me out to run like Martinus Evans.  Gradually  building back up my time spent running (slowly) sounds like a good idea...This morning I arose between 3:30 and 4, and I ran-in-place in the living room for some 16 minutes...then I brewed some coffee and wrote this.  Look like I'll be returning to theback of the house soon, agitating my sweet Peewee Daisy in the process...

61 Miles

 I feel like Frodo Baggins near the end of the movie Return of the King, tending to feel pain and unhealing wounds.  I continue today exercising a little and resting a lot. I value silence and resent loud haranguing.  I am still optimistically guarded about the future: still have an appetite...

Continuing with Medical Treatments, Working on Attitude

 So on this Friday, November 21st, I find myself with noontime approaching and a slight headache, although my cold symptoms have lightened a bit.  I took my fourth straight early-morning doses of TMZ capsules for brain cancer chemotherapy and am scheduled for yet another zapping by UF Health's radiiation-therapy brain-zapping machines.  As anticipated, Buffalo did lose last night's game, which is fine with me. At 6:30, the network evening news shows conveyed more and more political outrage as our so-called "leaders" want to execute their critics and even call political allies "traitors" for occasionally disagreeing with them.  For myself, all I want is to just get through this day with a better overall attitude and good prospects for a meaningful Saturday morning Depot Parkrun.  

Possible Side Effects of Upcoming Cancer Treatments

Well, it looks as if I'm about to embark on a series of troubling treatments for my diagnosed cancer, starting with tomorrow's facial mask fitting at the UF Medical Plaza for my upcoming rounds of radiation.  In conjunction with that future scenario, full of predicted possible side effects including fatigue, nausea and constipation, one of my physical therapists yesterday paid us a house visit.  His intentions were spot-on although I had some difficulty understanding the technical jargon he used about getting a new exercise bicycle and walking aid.  It's going to be a test of my will to stand steady in the midst of adversity.  I've already written that I'll be focusing on simple things like showing up and following through, without getting hung up on levels of achievement.  Since at this stage I'm not envisioned as a "resident" hospital patient, I'll be taking on more personal responsibility for the needed self-care that will be greatly enhanced by that which my sweet Melissa will be providing me.  Standing up, successfully navigating the toilet and cleaning (and drying) myself in the shower are basic functional activities that fatigue and stressors on my digestive system could well challenge in terms of my ability to follow through with them.  Also, staying active regarding physical exercise...including future weely Parkrun 5Ks...has been a suggestion from my oncologist.  I think it's important to "will" myself into action, at least on a short-term basis, once the effects of my treatment begin to sink in.  I don't know the exact date my chemotherapy/radiation will begin, but I hope to be ready for it as the almost certainly unpleasant routine settles in...

Recovering from Grave Brain Surgery: Life is Fragile

 No expectations.

I am retired, with a memory of colleagues who passed on soon after they finished their careers...one died while still employed and looking ahead to retirement.  Physically, I am in very good condition and have a lot of cardiovascular endurance.  Unfortunately, I have cancer.  Brain cancer.  And it seems to be terminal.  It wasn't diagnosed until exactly a week ago when Melissa drove me to the UF Health emergency room, where they did the ct-scan on my head that showed the golfball-size tumor.  Without ever going home, I was medically transported to the Shands Neurosurgery building off SW Archer Road.  The brain surgery was performed early Friday afternoon there by Dr. Koch and his able team.  The tumor's analysis confirmed its malignancy and aggressive nature. After experiencing an absolutely unncessary psychologically traumatic night in their intensive care unit under the control of bullying RN Antonio, I was deemed recovered enough to (gratefully) transfer to a "normal" med-surgical floor, where I stayed another night before being discharged yesterday.  I'm at home, now, very well-cared for by my sweet Melissa, and am sitting in the dining room typing on this Google Chromebook.  My plan is to take each day as it comes, speak frankly with love, and enjoy the life I have left coming to me.  It's fragile, way too fragile for my tastes!  So, I'm happy that the Dolphins, Dodgers, Buccaneers and Mississippi Rebels all won...but it would have been okay had they lost.  In my present life, my priority is to maintain myself in a positive mental attitude and to encourage recovery while minimizing my head pain without seeking any chemical dependence.  Peace is a wonderful thing, and I'm grateful that Melissa is here with me providing it..

Back in Town from Cruise

Back in town from our week-long Caribbean cruise, I am adjusting to "regular" life here in Gainesville.  First things first: my Toyota car battery is dead, so I'll have to work on getting the vehicle running again.  Also, the final few mornings on the cruise had me waking up with headaches, some of them slow in going away as the day progressed.  This morning my headaches were difficult and I'm still experiencing them to an extent...they've been interfering with my sleep quality.  I think the reason for the pain is most likely due to side effects from my recent (oncologist-prescribed) hormone shot.  The cruise itself was a mix of fun and annoyance.  For one thing, each day I had to work on "getting through the day" by being at certain places by certain times.  Whenever the ship docked into port somewhere, the question was whether Melissa and I would go ashore and possibly even take up on one of their excursions.  In CuraÇao we paid for a trolley tour of the capital city of Williamstad.  It was miserably hot and muggy, not a breeze anywhere among the searing sun.  We did step out the next day in Aruba, walking a bit down the streets and doing a little shopping.  For the final stops at Cabo Rojo in the Dominican Republic and at CocoCay in the Bahamas, we remained on our boat.  The Dominican excursion turned out to be nothing more than a slipshod, cruddy reduced theme park and CocoCay happened in the middle of a prolonged rainstorm.  I thought the people working the cruise were helpful and friendly.  We liked the food and I enjoyed the Starbucks on board for their caramel macchiatos and chai tea lattes. I did use the ship's fitness center treadmill for some speed-walking training.  But I never tried its rock climbing feature, nor did we ever venture into one of the usually-packed swimming pools.  I'm happy to be back home again...

Hormone Therapy Injection for Residual Prostate Cancer

Early this afternoon, as mentioned in yesterday's article, I went down to the University of Florida Medical Plaza, oncology section, to have a prescribed hormone treatment injection to inhibit my body's production of testosterone and consequently stem the growth of cancer in my body as I anticipate radiation treatment beginning in a few weeks.  The injection, done on my rear, has a six-month span of effectiveness and I'm confident that it will help to diminish, if not eliminate, the presence of any prostate cancer within me.  Everyone there was so nice and I barely felt the needles stick when they first drew blood from my arm and then made that hormone-inhibiting injection.  Now my butt feels a little sore but that's all right: time to let the medicine work its magic...

About Tomorrow's Procedure

Tomorrow I have scheduled an injection of testosterone-inhibiting hormone treatment, to last for six months and facilitate the eradication of the microscopic residual cancer after my prostatectomy this past March.  I made the assigned phone call to my oncologist's nurse, who apprised me of the treatment's possible side effects: fatigue and menopause-emulating symptoms like hot flashes and joint pain.  Not that these will occur, but it's always a good idea to know where I'm headed with all this.  The nurse also stressed that in the face of the possible fatigue it's a good idea for me to be intentionally active.  Well, I planned on that all along, so now it's just a matter of once again showing up with a good attitude at the Medical Plaza for the procedure... 

Mixed Running and Walking in Today's Depot Parkrun 5K

This Saturday morning I woke up early...before six...after not sleeping well.  But I dutifully got myself ready to go at yet another Parkrun 5K, this one to be at Gainesville Depot Park, a few blocks south of downtown. As a reward for simply getting out there and showing up, I had decided in advance to speed-walk the whole four laps around the park...the 68 degrees race time temperature and 91% humidity reinforced that decision.  This Parkrun location is a lot more crowded than the one held at West End Community Park, so just before its start I deliberately walked backward to near the back of the throng.  Yet I still experienced the jumble of people behind me running around, crowding me out although I was simply walking (quickly) in a straight line.  Eventually it thinned out (a little) and I was able to establish a reasonable walking pace, slower than my best but not my worst, either.  I speed-walked two laps, and felt energized enough then to start mixing in a little running.  During those final two laps I ran a total time of 10:08, finishing the 5K (3.1-mile) distance at 37:08.  You can view the posted results by clicking HERE. During this season of my life, in which I'm about to undergo some mild hormone and radiation treatment for microscopic residual prostate cancer, I need to set aside my "personal best" standards regarding race finishing times and instead focus on that "showing up", either mixing up the running and walking or doing solely speed-walks.  So, supposing circumstances and how I feel work for me to do another Parkrun next week, my plan is to start out the race running for three minutes, then walk four, then run six...until the end, with me averaging six minutes of running to four of walking.  Sounds like a reasonable idea...

Further Plans for Cancer Treatment

This morning I had my consultation appointment with the urologist who performed my March prostatectomy.  Since my follow-up PSA blood test revealed a slightly increasing trend that probably points to the presence...at least on a microscopic biochemical level...of residual cancer in that part of my body, he laid out the future treatment strategy.  It includes both radiation and hormone therapy, and this will be scheduled in the next few days.  Sure, I would have preferred to have maintained that earlier low PSA level, but my doctor is very upbeat about my prospects following this treatment regimen, which we will schedule around our upcoming cruise.  I don't know how this will affect my overall energy level in the next two or three months, but I've already decided to focus on showing up and finishing regarding the running races I'm going to participate in with a mix of running and walking.  The main hassle as I see it will be driving across town to my treatment sessions and back.  Still, I plan to be positive and active through it all...

My August 2025 Running, Walking, Swimming and Health Report

In August I continued to walk, run, and swim regularly, not really growing in fitness or athletic ability but instead practicing the discipline of showing up, often under stress to do other things and under adverse weather conditions.  It was a typically hot and muggy month in summer, and it wasn't at all fun.  No, it's still August as I write this and I am not having fun.  Sometimes I feel that I am acting in defiance of my loved ones when I carve out time in my supposed "retirement" to actively pay attention to my own fitness instead of being a limp, passive excuse for a being.  I'm frankly fed up with the frustration of feeling that I am being set up to be a kind of scapegoat.  Still, I think I did reasonably well getting through this past month.  I walk and run around my neighborhood regularly and I do exercises mimicking running in the house.  I do push-ups and calisthenics as well daily.  My swimming didn't happen as often as I would have liked...maybe this coming month will see an improvement in that activity.  In August I participated in three posted races...all Parkrun 5K's.  My finishing times have declined, and it's frustrating.  I wish I didn't feel pressured to stuff myself with food...that's not a healthful habit at all.   My weight has been creeping upward into the low 160's, and I'd much rather be twenty pounds lighter.   Along with my fitness routines I find myself deep into the medical rotations of tests and doctor visits following my March prostatectomy, with subsequent blood tests and pet-scan held to ascertain whether the cancer diagnosed last December is returning on any discernible level.  Maybe next month I'll have to undergo radiation treatment since my PSA level has crept up a bit. Am I healthy? Who knows, but I do know that I am continuing to be physically active.  I suppose that an element of health is having a social network of friends and family who express an interest in me and what I'm up to, and who want to hear what I think about things.  Unfortunately, although many seem to be benevolently inclined toward me, I don't see any of that extended into a level of interest.  So philosophically I guess I'm in a funk of social pessimism, with diminishing expectations of others and, if anything, a desire to be left alone without surrounding drama.  And the POS occupying the White House isn't helping anything with his antics, nor are those people who put him back into power...

Mini-Seminar on Avoiding Falls

This past Saturday morning (somebody) presented an educational meeting about the dangers of falling for seniors and ways to avoid them.  Melissa arranged it for us...all I had to do was drive us down to the gym conference room where it was being held.  We heard a nice talk describing the various situations that can put folks in danger of falling, and also participated in a test of our own individual susceptibility for falls.  Melissa and I did well with the tests...since I tend to be a bit on the athletic side I figured I would.  As people age, they tend to lose muscle mass and strength, especially regarding the "fast-twitch" muscles that can quickly straighten them out when they lose balance, averting fall situations.  Also, bone density tends to lessen, creating the hazard of injuries from falling being compounded with broken bones. Sometimes I get down on the way the world is going, and it seems like people are getting meaner and meaner.  But there's good stuff as well, and this mini-seminar is a useful example... 

Swimming Between Two Medical Issues

I'm currently swimming between two different health issues that will probably be under medical scrutiny for the remainder of my (hopefully long-term) existence on this Earth.  The first one to crop up was a congenital defective heart valve and accompanying aortic artery aneurysm that was diagnosed in late 2011/early 2012 and surgically corrected through open heart surgery in July 2021.  For this, post-op, I take regular medications and undergo periodic testing and specialist consultations...I just finished one with my excellent thoracic surgeon yesterday, to meet again in two years. The second medical issue is cancer, more specifically that of the prostate, which for me was diagnosed through biopsy in mid-December 2024.  I underwent a robotic laparoscopic prostatectomy in March and seem (so far) to be doing quite well without that malignant prostate.  But this issue also involves periodic blood tests for PSA (protein-specific antigen) levels that might indicate a return or resurgence (or not) of the cancer.  On my second post-surgery PSA test, the level was at .1, which may or may not be significant. The urology department at UF Health has me scheduled for a PSMA PET scan later this month, and thereafter yet another PSA test to be taken at the start of September. Then I'll meet with my specialist physician to determine a constructive course of action with all of this...or in the best-case scenario, inaction. It's during times like these that I can sit back and feel gratitude for the wonderful state of medicine, and my access to it.  I'm looking forward to staying active and positive, taking each day one at a time and appreciating the great people and circumstances around me...

My July 2025 Running, Walking and Swimming Report

For the month of July I persevered with my running and (speed) walking, cutting back some with the swimming.  I participated in three different racing events, running two of them (Melon Run, Depot Parkrun) on consecutive mornings early in the month. My intent this month...in which we've been experiencing a record-setting heat wave...was to balance my running and walking training while trying to avoid overexposure in the heat (and humidity) of the blistering day: I think it's worked so far. In the middle of July Melissa and I went on a three-night Bahamas cruise, but apart from expected extensive walking I didn't exert myself much, and the ship's pools were too crowded and small to be of any use.  The second half of the month I began to use my gym's treadmill to work on increasing my walking speed.  And the past week saw us using our local YMCA's swimming pool, with me getting in some practice.  At this stage, I am dissatisfied that I have gained some 20-plus pounds since this time in 2024.  Back then I had a built-in daily structure...going to my regular post office job five days a week...with which I could implement habits moderating and spacing my food consumption while maintaining physical activity.  But I retired at the end of November and with Melissa we seem to be focusing more on the next meal we're to eat, while much of the time I'm content with just eating light although I often go along with her recommendations and, quite frankly, have my own high-calorie favorites (like pancakes and hamburgers).  I don't really need that much food to get by, and I think that my general health and fitness (and running and walking speed) would be better were I to proactively assert myself more around eating time.  That said, I'm happy with this past month and have high hopes for August.  During my last two neighborhood 3.3-mile training loops I walked briskly until 40 minutes went by and then I ran the rest of the way back home...I think I'll adopt that pattern into my regular training regimen.  With swimming, my goal is to get myself comfortable using the 25 yd swimming lanes and thereby avoid depending on the shorter and more shallow half of the pool, which can get unpredictably crowded.  August 2025 has five Saturdays, so there should be plenty of chances to do 5K races next month, especially now that there are two Parkruns in town now.  I'm thinking of "officially" running my first West End Community Parkrun in a couple of days.  Although I disliked the course when I test-ran it back on July 13th, I like that it's directly across the street from Gainesville Health and Fitness (Tioga branch) and Patticakes coffee shop...

This Morning at the Lab

After spending more than an hour waiting for my blood to be drawn at my pathology lab this morning, I realized that it's not always prudent to get there the earliest.  Many other folks are following the same reasoning...either to just get it done with or to fit it into their tight schedules...so the "early bird" rush is in effect.  Not only that, but they had only one person to draw the blood in the lab.  By the time my name was finally called, they had three on duty...I think from now on I'll wait a little while before going down there. Despite the wait, the people around me were friendly and patient, as (hopefully) I seemed to be toward them. I tried the "early" route because getting there right after awakening was the most convenient way to get my blood drawn after fasting...now I can enjoy my iced coffee at the nearby Dunkin' Donuts while musing about the month about to end.  Yesterday Melissa and I signed and initialed the contract for the sale of our tragically deceased son Will's house...the closing process is now essentially in the confident and capable hands of our real estate agent, bless him.  Then the two of us made plans for another cruise, this one in early October.  That should be fun as well.  In the meantime, I'm having to continue my follow-up medical visits, in August to check my heart status, in September to my urologist/surgeon following prostate cancer surgery, and in October to consult with a dermatologist.  I guess I'm now in the permanent medical rotation, but I feel fine and intend to continue doing so...   

Time Takes on Urgency During Aging

As I age, now into retirement for seven-plus months, my changing perception of the passage of time is causing me to reevaluate how best to spend it.  For one, with me it no longer seems that the future is as vast and wide open as it was during my youth...that's being pretty realistic, I think.  You can be pretty healthy...even athletic in your "golden" years, as Paul, an acquaintance in his 80's, demonstrated, and then quickly succumb to an aggressive cancer, organ failure or other ailment.  After my open-heart surgery four years ago, I recovered to the level of being once again able to do Parkrun 5Ks.  On one such run the following year, Paul and I found ourselves running side-by-side, and he revealed he had run many marathons in his past. He seemed very fit and at the close of our little talk, he then sped off and finished the 5K well ahead of me.  I hadn't seen Paul in a long time and just recently discovered that he had died this past February from pancreatic cancer.  Very sad, but that's a common part of being a senior: you're going along just fine, with what seems like an open future stretching out before you...and then, poof!, just like that, you're gone.  Well, that's one rapidly shifting perception of time that's recently affected me.  The other is my increased sensitivity to how, with each new day, I have things I want to do and how so-called "urgencies" that crop up tend to crowd them out, making me feel selfish and guilty should I assert myself and carve out my own time for them.  This also has to do with my sense that I don't have forever in this world to pursue my own interests and goals in spite of how well I physically feel or what encouraging words my doctors say...I'm developing my own personal sense of urgency regarding these things...

My June 2025 Running/Walking/Swimming Report

In June I continued working out with my running, walking and swimming, not reaching any milestones but rather letting my system and habits fill each day with meaningful activity.  Melissa and I didn't quite make it to our YMCA Pool as often as we did in May...she came down with a bad cold and the weather tended to be uncooperative later on during the afternoon/evening hours.  For the first three Saturdays in June I participated in the Depot Parkrun, running the first two and speed-walking the last.  I had planned to run the US Road Running event scheduled on the 28th at Westside Park, but upper respiratory issues...most likely simple post nasal drip...convinced me to instead sleep through it.  For mid-July we've planned a short cruise to the Bahamas and back, and on the other weekends in the month there will be race opportunities.  I've signed up for this coming Friday's three-mile Melon Run, starting and ending at Westside Park and organized by the Florida Track Club.  On the 5th will be another Depot Parkrun and the next morning interested folks will meet at West End Park to try out their new Parkrun course in an unofficial run...that second Gainesville Parkrun location starts its runs on the 12th.  On July 19th I plan, as stated, to be traveling, while on the 26th will be another US Road Running race at Westside.  I'm seriously entertaining the notion of focusing my running efforts on 5K and 10K races and speed-walking races of 15K, half-marathon and marathon length.  I'm also a little concerned that I've gained some twenty pounds since this time last year.  Sure, I've been doing more resistance training, which can put on some "muscle" weight.  But unfortunately a lot of the pounds I've recently been adding to the scale are due to diverging from my previously established eating pattern.  I need to address this matter before it gets out of hand...it certainly is interfering with my running and walking effectiveness. As for swimming, I have no interest in swimming fast or doing any timed races...which is good since I don't see any being offered anyway. What I do want is to develop a smooth freestyle form and the endurance to accomplish several pool-length laps per pool visit, nothing more...

Skipped Scheduled Race This Morning Due to Upper Respiratory Ailment

Today I skipped my scheduled 10K race at Westside (Albert Ray Massey) Park and instead slept in, suffering from some upper respiratory ailment that's either viral or allergenic in origin.  Yesterday, for the most part, I felt improved from the day before, going on a 4.1 mile speed-walk around the neighborhood.  My plan from last night was, should I feel up to it this morning, to likewise speed-walk the entire 6.2 mile race this morning.  But I was coughing too easily, although my energy level has always maintained a high level and I had no fever.  The rest of today I did some in-house exercising, and will then take it easy and see what Sunday brings me.  I like the habit of getting up early in the morning and running races on a weekly basis, and retirement has made this much easier since I'm no longer clocking out of work at 10 pm Friday nights.  So for now I'm just going to rest and recover...and enjoy life...

Feeling Better, Summer Pattern Weather Here

Feeling better today than yesterday...although not at 100%...I exercised more and was more generally active.  For the first time in a while, Melissa and I visited our nearby YMCA pool, where I practiced swimming.  We're well-entrenched here in northern Florida in the typical summer pattern weather for our area, with sunniness in the morning yielding to spotty periods of rain and thunder into the afternoon.  I'm wishing you and yours a happy summer...