Stubborn about Fighting Cancer for Extended Lifespan and Healthspan

 This morning Melissa and I exercise-walked north from our house  along NW 27th terrace..then turned around and walked back home.  i'm not happy that this walking of mine for distance is such a tiring grind, remembering how easy it used to be: I want to go back to being a power walker, challenging the 40-minute mark for 5K's.With slow running I want to be like Ralph the Ageless Runner on YouTube..I love his shows.As for me, I strongly want to become confident in my proven ability to slowly runfor long distances as I live through this unwelcome era of sudden cancer diagnosis bombs dropping on me and disrupting my life, physical mobility and hopes for my future as I want to live on a high-functioning level throughout my seventies..and possibly deeply into my eighties..The marker of my level of stubbornness that I embrace, without self-shaming, on the present moments of my immediate physical environment, is  and should be a highpriority for me, and for you...

The Beautiful Mind, a Beautiful Day, Medical Matters

One of my all-time favorite movies is the 2001 semi-fictional biographical thriller A Beautiful Mind, starring Russell Crowe as John Naah, the Novel laureate (Nash really won that award) for economics who went through a serious protracted trial with his schizophrenia.  His"friend"of many years, a hallucination, was Charles Herman, played on screen by Paul Bettany.  The way the film portrays this character...one moment he's invisible and the next he's right up in your face...made a formidable impression on me.  If something like this happened to me, I would be very upset about what was going on in my mind...especially if there were a pattern of repetition to the phenomenon. How could I bring this experience up in conversation, possibly risking in the process being called crazy? In the Bible, following the resurrection of Jesus, his disciples were walking around, largely despondent and discouraged. Suddenly the risen Lord would appear to them out of thin air,  this being the part of the text that threw me back a bit.  I will need to be careful about what I observe in life and how to process and react to it.  I do know that, as far as I can discern, my home is relatively secure with any intruders unlikely to make an unwelcome appearance. So the only feasible alternative is...

Today I went with Melissa to consult with her physician's assistant dealing with the oncology following her 2024 cancer treatment and what the future plans are regarding appointments and procedures.  Also, we went to UF Health at the Oaks Mall where I had a lab blood draw and provided a urine sample.  We're dealing with this cancer ordeal arm in arm, loving and supporting each other through it all. I'm praying for complete healing, acknowledging the Lord's supremacy in everything.  Right now it's April 20th, 2026...let's see where the calendar takes us...

Up Early, Am-Way Presentation, Medical Visit, Later Plans

 Jane came to be one of my sweetheart wife Melissa's good friends in the 1990s.  She always had a sweet and gentle disposition.  One morning Jane invited me to attend a "recruitment" meeting regarding a multi-level marketing project called Am-Way, to which I complied and was shocked by its aggressive nature.  Turns out  that, starting out, I would be on the bottom, under other Am-Way members.  Over time my sales and recruitment efforts would pay off in my gradual elevation and enrichment, and my wealth and reknown had the potential of becoming possibly legendary, like that of "the" Bubba Pratt, the company's star multi-millionaire.  The not-so-subtle dig at those who choose not to engage with Am-Way is that they are hum-drum losers who are missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime...why, I could be off somewhere ice-fishing with my big-shot mentor instead of working shifts on the clock!  Ron, one of my former USPS co-workers who was eventually fired for insubordination, used to even insult me and colleague Rick about our so-called dead-end jobs.  I always believed that being a postal service clerk was an honorable undertaking, and over the years appreciated the respect and esteeem directed my way for consistently showing up and properly performing my duties.   Melissa and I both demurred on Jane's offer, but God blessed our humble little lives just the same...we still enjoyed that trip to Dahlonega, Georgia.  I never was very materialistic about wanting "stuff", and for me spending money was something I felt some caution about avoiding building up too much financial debt. Now it's nearly 3:30 on Wednesday morning, and I have an 11:00 appointment to see my prostate cancer oncologist at UF Health Davis Cancer Pavilion. After brewing some coffee I ran in place for 8 minutes and see myself extending that "run" a while longer.  Well, I still have that horrid Joshua Khan Shadow Magic book and want to read a little bit further into it before I lay it down in disgust.  Protagonist boy Thorn is always fighting and offending people, and the narrative never seems to have any "down" moments for folks to just get together and talk things out.  Let's see, I think I'll post today's article, shut down the computer, and head on back.  Good morning, all...   

First Anniversary of My Prostatectomy

 Today marks the one-year anniversary of when I underwent a radical prostatectomy operation at the UF Health Cancer Hospital on the south side of Archer Road.  My dear, late sister-in-law Krista was staying in the same building when I entered it, climbing up its winding stairway to the second floor.  The procedure went smoothly enough, but in the early evening when I fully awoke it was very sharply painful for me 'down there'.  Melissa promptly got me on my feet for a brief post-op walk around the floor, and the Foley catheter had already been inserted.  For the next ten full days I would have little trouble with my urinating and emptying the bag...on the 17h all pain disappeared when it was removed.  Dr. Joseph performed the meticulous surgery, which took a few hours.  We left the hospital for home early on the 7th.  Krista remained there until she was released into hospice in early July.  God bless her, I miss her so much.  A few weeks after the catheter was gone, I speed-walked another Depot Parkrun 5K. The Director, Shauna...who has yet to give me volunteer credit for the end of last September when she asked me go far up and beyond the call of duty for a simple tail-walker assignment...was not at all happy with my participation, claiming health concerns. Too bad she treats it all like a competitive race whenever she runs it.  So today I got up early, ran in place a few minutes, and brewed some coffee.  And what do you know, here's Melissa! And what do you know, it's 4:30...

Final Radiation Round, Difficult LIves, Exercise

Yesterday marked the last scheduled round of radiation therapy, set to end at the close of six weeks just before the year's end.  Sweet Melissa drove me down there to the Davis Cancer Pavillion at UF Health and we saw two oncologist physicians nearly immediately afterwards.  Then I "rang the bell" to mark this minor milestone.  Before that I wrote a couple of sobering sentences into their guestbook. This is that text:

It is good to complete the six weeks of brain cancer radiation treatments, in spite of the headache side effects. My struggles against GBM continue, and it promises to be difficult and challenging. God bless you all!

The reactions I received to this somber message weren't exactly exuberant, but then again, I never asked or prayed for an easy life for myself.  After all, Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee had a difficult go at it throughout their J.R.R. Tolkien-authored Lord of the Rings saga.  Harry Potter also had to undergo quite a bit of suffering throughout J.K. Rowling's excellent Harry Potter series,too. Yet these characters' experiences strengthened them and provided transformational growth because they showed up for the challenges and followed through.  This is the optimistic message I add to the first somewhat abrupt lines.  I didn't exercise this afternoon or evening, but I have confident hopes that I won' t let myself down and will dutifully perform some C-V exercise while watching virtual runs on TV..  More virtual miles to come.  Now it's eight in the evening and I just finished my daily exercise, closing out at 4.8 total virtual miles...

Songs of the Month and Year, Exercise and Cancer Treatments

 Today was an open Sunday spent at home, with me largely withdrawing to our living room couch.  I did exeerise a bit, doing a total of 3.1 virtual miles...don't feel like I did anything, though.  I have Steve Miller Band's minor 1968 singles hit Living in the USA as my Song of December.  Also, Garbage's 2025 song There's No Future in Optimism gets my nod for 2025 Song of the Year...more about that one later.  I'm due to get another round of brain cancer radiation treatment at the UF Health Davis Pavillion.  To all of you a very good and blessed day... 

Latest Snowy Jigsaw Puzzle, Exercise Plans

 

Well, late yesterday I completed a cute 300-piece jigsaw puzzle of two snowmen with several sweet-looking little animals: a pony, two affectionate pigs, a cat, squirrel, horse and rabbit.  At the end it seemed I lacked a single piece.  Getting its finished photo uploaded to Google Fotos was a little challenging, but there you see it!  Now I've just finished my dinner with Melissa at Nopal...no residual hunger here.  I suffered from some level four headaches this morning, probably in major part stemming from cumulative effects of radiation treatments since Novmber 17rh.  Melissa has brought forth the idea of having my head capped with a special electronically-powered device to help fight the development and./or reproduction of glioblastoma multiforme cancer within my sensitive, sad little brain.  I forgot the name...refreshing with Google should properly inform me.  Yet for someone with such a bummer of a cancer diagnosis, I still feel pretty doggone healthy.  I'm still susceptible to tiredness from late in the day as evening and darkness approach. My plan is to exercise on our living room rug while watching Peter...back in 2022...as he struggles to cover that year's Nw York City Marathon on YouTube.  Should be interesting.  In the previous two or three days each my virtual mile totals haven't risen beyond one and a fraction...let's see if I can't beat that figure tonight. IT's now eight in the evening and I have finished my evening living room exercise session, with 5.0 total virtual miles. Merry Christmas!  By the way, if it's five til midnight and a humungous train with "POLAR EXPRESS" on its side pulls up in front of your house, then seriously consider getting on board, especially if the conductor looks and sounds like Tom Hanks...

College Football Playoffs Commence...in the Evening

 Today we paid the UF Health Davis Cancer Pavilion another visit.  There I went through a radiation therapy round.  Later our dear friend Lisa paid us a visit and we had chili for dinner.  In the evening ESPN was overhyping their first broadcast college football playoff game for the 2025 season, with Oklahoma hosting Alabama in Norman.  The Sooner fans pregame seemed pretty smug about their team's superiority over the Crimson Tide, whose reputation for winning was tarnished following legendary coach Nick Saban's retirement.  Knowing that a Depot Parkrun 5K is scheduled for tomorrow morning and that Melissa is planning to walk it with me, I settled comfortably on the living room couch with the TV set on the game.  When I woke up toward midnight, it was late in the fourth quarter and Oklahoma was ten points behind, desperately trying to catch up before the game clock expired.  Twice they stopped their own drives to bring in their own placekicker, who missed both makeable attempts badly.  Then the camera panned out to the crowd of spectators, showing people looking aghast with their mouths open in shocked dismay.  So "Bama came from 17 points down to improbably win and advance. Next, they play Indiana on the road in the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day.  Tomorrow a lot of college playoff games are scheduled, and I'll probably be dutifully following them as well.  As for today's exercise, I had 2.4 virtual-equivalent miles...  

I'm a Sick Billy-Boy, They Say

 Up until the October 21st ct-scan done on my head that determined a presumably cancerous, rapidly growing golfball-size tumor in my brain, my general state of health, medically speaking, was determined to be good.  But after the brain surgery done three days later, it was confirmed that I am afflicted with an aggressive variant of brain cancer called GBM, or Glioblastoma Multiforme.  It's an open question as to whether treatment strategies like chemotherapy or radiation will arrest the GBM development or reduce it, but I've been enthusiastic about going along with the prescribed program.  So far, my adverse reactions to treatment...mainly radiation...have been brain inflammation and headaches, partially remedied by steroid capsules and OTC capsules like extra-strength Tylenol.  But I'm still susceptible to getting tired over the course of a typically long day, and on weekdays I usually spend a substantial amount of time with Melissa meeting doctor and radiation therapy appointments at UF Health.  Doctors like my oncologist and the skillful surgeon who operated on my brain encourage me to be physically active while listening to my body in a cautionary way.  I've already scaled back my running training, avoid gym treadmills and show up consistently to Saturday morning Parkrun 5K events in which walking takes center stage, usually with Melissa and me.  Still, it can be a matter of testing my will power to cover the race's course from start to finish.  At home, I have been using my living room floor...with a lot of rug covering...to exercise while watching TV and dutifully record  my times spent in Zone One movement.  Today I covered (virtually) the equivalent of 4.4 miles before finally calling it a night.

The medical authorities say I'm sick with an aggressive variety of brain cancer and the prognosis for a reasonable number of years ahead to live is limited and subject to how my brain responds to the prescribed treatment regimen.  Yet, by all acounts, I do well with blood tests and vital signs.  I have a good appetite and food gets easily digested and passes though my body without trouble.  I don't know how much time I have remaining on Earth before my body dies...or the Earth around me from my own subjective point of view.  That far-reaching video by the alternative rock band My Chemical Romance titled Welcome to the Black Parade vividly presents this notion, and I recommend it if only to broaden your perspectives.  Just copy and paste the title, once you're on YouTube, into the site's search engine.  It is , in my opinion, that band's crowning achievement and can really bring on the tears for how the singer deeply honors his father.  As for my own life, I'll just carry on, although at this stage it seems like I'm in a decaying orbit, destined to burn up and crash.  Let sustained life and quality of life be my true destination, both short and long term...

Latest Jigsaw Puzzle, Medical Visits, Home Exercise

If you're reading this article after seeing the picture at the top, then you're probably expecting something about the jigsaw puzzle I just finished putting together.  It is a cute picture of five smiling dogs, pretending to be human, outside having a fun picnic, 500 pieces in total.  For days I had the puzzle laid out on a plastic tabletop in the living room, the pieces stubbornly resistant to my eyes and pattern recognition.  I told Melissa of my goal of finishing it this evening, after a discouraging feeling of stagnation in making progress, and she gave me a crucially helpful hint.  So I set about the task and, now you see it!  This happened after coming home from UF Health radiation treatment and a visit with Dr. Koch, my very capable brain surgeon from October 24th.  He encouraged me to be active while listening carefully to my body...very reasonable and wise.  I've also been exercising in the living room, continuing to tally up virtual-equivalent miles, today's total being 9.9 miles.  Today I made use of the YouTube Runner's Digest channel's point-of-view video of the 2024 United Airlines New York City Half-Marathon.  It is inspiring me to check out some more virtual running videos, including some from that young Chinese athlete.  I still want to build up my own running strength and endurance to the point where I feel confident participating in some near-future middle-to long-distance events...   

Unstructured Sunday, Exercise, TV Football

 Today is Sunday, one of those unstructured days that depend on me to stake out a kind of personal schedule.  Still, over this day's span, time seems vast.  Yet it's only inevitable that the afternoon will creep on through, culminating in evening.  I took advantage of the early morning hours to exercise with virtual running in the living room, to a YouTube video of 2024's New York City Half-Marathon.  Later in the day I did a brisk (for me) 3.3-mile walk though my home neighborhood.  My daily mileage total for today came to 9.9 miles.  I followed some NFL football on TV, highlighted by an entertaining contest in Southern California between the Los Angeles Rams and Detroit Lions.  I'd like to see both teams make the postseason playoffs, but I have my doubts about Detroit's prospects this time around in 2025.  Tomorrow it's back to UF Health cancer treatments and doctor consults...with a lab blood draw to top it off...

The Weather Channel, Named Winter Storms, and My Day Today

 Sometimes in the morning I watch The Weather Channel, which disusses the ongoing national weather, a long with making forecasts.  This is especially pertinent to our current late fall/early winter season, and I enjoy seeing meterorologists like Paul Goodloe or Molly McCollum reporting from a windy, snowbound location such as Minnesota or the south Chicago beach on Lake Michigan.  I was concerned that the bigshots in the studio were deliberately shunning the channel's own system of naming winter storms...so far we've gone through "Chan", with "Devin" next in line.  I Googled this concern, and their response was that no one's avoiding anything, just applying a more rigorous standard to what constitutes a "winter storm" in their minds.  We'll I guess that before long we'll see some morning show headlines highlighting more named winter storms.  In the meantime temperatures here in Gainesville are slated to dip into cold zones, maybe down into the thirties.  Today I took my chemotherapy dose of capsules and showed up at radiation therapy, happily meeting with three different excellent oncologists.  At home I intentionally did indoor exercises for an equivalent distance of thirteen miles.  It's been a good day, and I'm looking forward to more of them...

Cancer Treatments, Accumulating Virtual Miles

 On this tenth day of December, 2025, I feel that I have easily undergone enough rounds of brain cancer treatments at UF Health to more accurately size up my reactions, especially negative side effects.  The TMZ chemotherapy capsules I daily consume each and every morning have brought with them warnings of nausea and digestive issues.  But so far I fail to feel any of these drawbacks, although things can tend to go pretty slowly "down there".  And neither have my weekly blood draw readings indicated that this treatment method might be dangerous.  No, regarding side effects of the radiation therapy given on non-holiday weekdays, the standouts  have been headaches and lightheadedness.  Hopefully, when that regimen finishes at year's end I'll have a reasonable grace period to recover from any deleterious effects resulting from those rounds of treatments.  Fatigue was also mentioned as a potential side effect from my capsule-form chemotherapy treatments, but I'm just not feeling that way.  No, instead I'd say that sleepiness descends on me earlier in the day although I still retain a good level of energy and cardiovascular fitness.  For the past two days I have gotten serious about accumulating virtual-equivalent miles from exercising with me standing on our living room floor while watching YouTube videos, chief among them of others' recorded experiences in years past (especially 2022).  Yesterday I covered 8.2 virtual miles while today I reached 12 virtual miles.  These are good workouts in that they put me into a Zone One cardiovascular state without putting too much stress on my legs' soft tissue.  Someday I hope the benefits from this "rock-running" will transfer to regular road running.  Still thinking optimistically.  I do know that I recently shared this training method I invented with my chief oncologist and she reacted with enthusiastic approval...

Did Extensive Zone 1 Living Room Exercises Despite Feelings

This morning Melissa drove me down to get another round of radiation treatment for brain cancer.  The procedure itself worked fine, but I seem to be suffering some inflammatory side effects from it.  The doctor prescribed for me steroids to counter possible headaches, and although I don't like headaches or lightheadedness, I'm going along with it with the best hopes possible.  Later I decided to do Zone One exercises while watching a 2022 NYC Marathon virtual run...recorded and posted on The Manor Runs channel...on YouTube.  I credited myself having covered a virtual distance of 7.4 miles.  Add to that the equivalent of .8 miles in FitBit steps, and the total comes to 8.2 miles.  Doing this doesn't make me fatigued, but after just a few minutes I could happily just lean back on our living room couch and let myself slip into unconciousness.  Tomorrow I'd like to continue the activity and cover more miles.  My hope is that this will better prepare me to more effectively run during Saturday morning Parkrun 5Ks.  

Today's Treatments and Doctor Visit

 After receiving my radiation treatment for today at the UF Health Davis Cancer Pavillion, Melissa and I went on a long walk to the Neuromedicine building, where we met with my neurologist/oncologist physician Dr. Rinonos.  Always upbeat, positive and engaging, that appointment went quite well as my treatments continue unabated.  Afterwards, the day slogged on after I ate my main meal from an Arby's drive-through line, not sleeping very much overnight.  Dr. Rinonos was very enthusiastic and supportive of the exercise routine that I created, making the whole experience one of never leaving the ground (no contact).  I just need to regularly show up and follow through with it.  Later on there was Monday Night Football on ABC/ESPN when the Philadelphia Eagles went to Los Angeles to play the Chargers...Philly has been slumping a bit lately.  Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings...

Thinking Good Thoughts at End of Week

Today marked the third full week of cancer chemotherapy and radiation treatments, all prescribed by the good physicians at UF Health.  Besides going to them with my sweet Melissa driving, my days and nights are more or less unstructured...unless it's me doing the structuring.  Tomorrow morning they're "forecazzing" heavy fog for Gainesville, with a chance of some rain later on.  Sunday's supposed to be much heavier with the local precipitation, but since I'm planning to stay at home all day that'll be okay for me.  I'm tired of the TV news, be it local or national in scope.  America has become grim (not great) again, and I guess it's all a part of the "master" plan.  TV-20 today devoted much time and effort celebrating their chief meteorologist Mike Potter's retirement...he'll be missed.  I still exercise some, spending time in front of the TV moving to foreign language podcasts and virtual running race videos (I'm going through the 2022 Hartford Half Marathon on Runner's Digest channel.  Still plodding on ahead thinking good thoughts...

A Day in My Life Undergoing Treatment

The time this evening has been steadily creeping onward...now it's more than a quarter past nine.  This article is more or less a personal journal entry about my voyage through this day in my life.  I'm currently about halfway through my regimen of chemotherapy and radiation therapy rounds to treat my diagnosed brain cancer.  Once that's though, probably at the end of 2025, there will be a short waiting period before medical testing to determine the treatment plan's effectiveness at stymieing the advancement of this aggressive variety.  After my radiation session this afternoon, we sat with two oncology physicians, who to me seemed more concerned about my reactions, especially to the radiation treatments.  Before the onset of pill-form chemotherapy and radiation appointments on November 17th, I was rather concerned about being able to sustain them all, seeing how adversely Melissa reacted the previous year...especially with her toxic two doses of chemotherapy.  Nevertheless, I used the remaining, somewhat effective brain mechanism I still have that provides will power to discipline myself into rock-running an effectively eleven-mile home living room virtual run while watching Alex's NYC Marathon conclusion filmed in 2022...it worked.  I feel that I have no other real choice than to follow this prescribed program for recovery and health quality and extension.  And doing it with a positive attitude goes hand in hand with that. Worst case scenarios have me leaving this world after a considerably shortened future...or this world leaving me, but I think I have some significantly better outcomes to entertain as realistic possibilities as long as I stay true to the prescribed program.  And that includes regaining the lost endurance I had the previous year when I finished a marathon to my liking and ran several other long-distance races, along with a slew of Parkrun 5Ks.  Why not just see if things don't improve in 2026.  My energy is fine...why not work to enhance it...

About Parkrun Strategies, What They Say About Themselves and my Retirement Anniversary

Today, Friday November 28th is a day sandwiched between two in which Gainesville is holding its Depot Parkrun 5Ks.  Melissa and I did yesterday's special Thanksgiving event, and we're planning on going back again tomorrow morning.  I usually feel a bit stiff and uncomfortable during the minutes preceding their starts, and if I run the race the first two laps are often grueling.  That's what I felt yesterday, as if I was hauling so much weight with every step that I would soon poop out.  There's a standout, clear explanation for these negative feelings I'm going through.  The weather is usually either too cold or too hot and/or too humid.  But more impactful is the fact that there are too many people attending, and they are really LOUD, TRIBAL (cliquish) and IN MY WAY.  My pre-race priority is to treat it as a running workout and do the 3.1-mile course's four laps, keep true to the pathway and avoid obnoxious (often tribal) people who are liable to interfere with me.  I don't know whether my dear Melissa will walk the event, but I deeply value and appreciate her support.  I don't think anyone else generally going there even remotely understands or cares about the medical predicaments I have been in, either with regard to my prostate cancer from months ago to my currently diagnosed brain cancer, which is now being treated with a six-week regimen of chemotherapy and radiation.  Furthermore, I am NOT upbeat about being expected (by the directors) to act like a cheerleader and perform much clapping pre-race on cue.  Whether Parkrun is a competition or not is problematic and based on the perspective that folks have about it.  Runners are in fact racing each other, as are the walkers, whether they say so or not.  And the posted results rank the finishers in numeric order of finish against each other (by name) while rating their "performances" with percentage numbers implying how they should have done within their gender/age groups: if this isn't COMPETITION then I don't know what is.  Yesterday some 190 attended the Depot Parkrun...way, way too crowded!  I'd much prefer the number to hover around 50. I expect some more insomnia tonight, but maybe if I could just relax...

Since today is the day after Thanksgiving, then had I not retired from 37 years with the United States Postal Service in 2024 when I clocked out of work at ten that evening, I would more likely be starting my retirement tonight after I finished my shift focused on receiving, processing and dispatching registered mail.  I've never felt any regret about retiring when I did, and I am grateful to have absolutely no hassles or concerns about trying to account for what might have been my 2025 medical absences from work had I still been on "active duty" with my official photo identification badge and scan card...  

Running a 5K Race as Immersion into Discomfort Zone

This morning I listened to a podcast by professional personal development coach Rob Dial that discussed people's comfort zones.  Dial, an advocate of seeking out discomfort as a growth mechanism, has stated that one' own comfort zone is where dreams come to die...he's not big on them, to put it lightly.  I tend to agree with this conclusion, although as each day wears on like now, when the late afternoon and early evening begin to make their presence felt, I feel a call on me to take things a little easier and not get strung out on crossing off a list of daily goals.  I haven't been given a promising diagnosis, but despite precautionary limitations after brain surgery, I am still in a pretty good state of physical fitness.  I even think I'm capable of running tomorrow morning's special Thanksgiving edition of Gainesville's Depot Parkrun 5K, treating it as a workout experience.  The goal is to get to a point in it when I feel I can get myself into a running groove that lasts the duration of the event.  This will be true discomfort, but my experiences at Depot Park have taught me that my tendency with 5K races is to get stronger and retain endurance as they progress, especially relative to others running or walking there.  I just walked around our .7 mile block with Melissa and intend to do some more rock-running watching Alex's YouTube posting of his 2022 NYC Marathon experience.  Despite breaks in the continuity of his run, with sections of the course left unposted, the video shows well the spirit of this event, and I appreciated Alex's upbeat attitude throughout.  I'm coming to appreciate more the relative value in my life of training privately, as opposed to measuring my running progress by how well I do in races that post results publicly.  I have two stated goals for tomorrow morning: (1) Show up, and (2) follow through...

Training On Though Therapy Process

 Today was Tuesday, a real weekday just preceding Thanksgiving Day by 48 hours.  It seems that the last two months of the calendar year are stacked with special holidays that appear deliberately designed to disrupt the regular routines of living, including those of school and work.  I'm looking at Thanksgiving morning, just ahead of me, and think sure, I'll make it out to show up at the Gobbler Day Depot Parkrun 5K.  The idea then is that once I'm there and the race begins, I'll give it my best try...that's called "following through".  Today from early on I was meditating on when and for how long I would train in my living room at a zone 1 level, usually listening to foreign language podcasts while doing so.  My training exercise of choice is something I call "rock running".  I rock back and forth, from toes to heels, while moving my arms forward and back as a balancing mechanism.  Today I took this training strategy seriously, doing rock-running for 72 minutes and crediting myself with 7.2 training miles.  As I make this treacherous personal health journey after beginning chemotherapy and radiation treatments for my brain cancer, I often evaluate my subjective state of feeling, such as whether I suffer from any headaches.  Sometimes that plays a discouraging role, but I've never felt fatigue that doesn't naturally come with a day fully and actively lived through.  I'm continuing to hope and pray that this process is successful at fighting back the cancer while my discipline with training brings me encouragement and realistic optimism...