My Ongoing Walking and Running Training Activity: Going for the Steps, Slowly

Today I exercised out in the back yard [soft running] and on the living room floor rug rock-running.  The other day I watched a YouTube video extolling walking for fitness' sake.  It touted doing up to 10,000 steps per day.  I have been monitoring my Fitbit and Angel Sense watches, and watched some live major league baseball innings while simultaneously rocking my feet forwards and backwards, in he process adding steps on my wrist device.  Yesterday I amassed 7,500 steps while, with today's sunset, I went over 8 thousand. Well, let's see how tomorrow goes.Becoming fitter with walking and running may, at my age and with this gloomy medical condition, have slowed down a lot.  but it won't be until Saturday morning, May 23rd, when I test my training progress during Gainesville's next Depot Park 5K.Speed doesn't matter here, only distance covered. Just call me the "slow AF geezer"...Funny, a little while ago I searched on my phone's Facebook for photos taken at last Saturdays'West End Community Parkrun 5K west of Gainesvilleon Newberry Road, but the pictures hadn't been processed.  Well, I'll check it out again tomorrow or Wednesday...

Wednesday Opportunities, Booksale Final Day

 This morning I arose Early, between 5 and 6, ran in place on our living room rug, brewed some coffee...and wrote this article. With no immediate medical appointments ahead of me, I looked for some structure to today's schedule and found one item; our Friends of the Alachua County Library is holding its final day of the first (springtime) event for 2026. It's Wednesday, so patrons will encounter at that event a ten cents/book sale going on...maybe Melissa would like to go, too.  The location is on the 400 block of North Main Street,west side...I don't see us taking too long to transact our business there.  As for walk/run training, I'd like to get in some more today, either on the living room floor or in the back yard. Besides, there's always the Major League Baseball regular season and the channel we subscribe to. I would like to  hear some new self-help podcasts off YouTube and spend some relaxing time with Melissa and Peewee Daisy sitting on the shaded porch...That dog can get a little bit too hilarious. She reminds me of that funny, toothy dog named "Petey"out in the country on the Subaru Outback commercial. Some twenty-odd years ago we also had a miniature poodle, Taffy, who would "tooth up " like that, especially in hotels...

The Beautiful Mind, a Beautiful Day, Medical Matters

One of my all-time favorite movies is the 2001 semi-fictional biographical thriller A Beautiful Mind, starring Russell Crowe as John Naah, the Novel laureate (Nash really won that award) for economics who went through a serious protracted trial with his schizophrenia.  His"friend"of many years, a hallucination, was Charles Herman, played on screen by Paul Bettany.  The way the film portrays this character...one moment he's invisible and the next he's right up in your face...made a formidable impression on me.  If something like this happened to me, I would be very upset about what was going on in my mind...especially if there were a pattern of repetition to the phenomenon. How could I bring this experience up in conversation, possibly risking in the process being called crazy? In the Bible, following the resurrection of Jesus, his disciples were walking around, largely despondent and discouraged. Suddenly the risen Lord would appear to them out of thin air,  this being the part of the text that threw me back a bit.  I will need to be careful about what I observe in life and how to process and react to it.  I do know that, as far as I can discern, my home is relatively secure with any intruders unlikely to make an unwelcome appearance. So the only feasible alternative is...

Today I went with Melissa to consult with her physician's assistant dealing with the oncology following her 2024 cancer treatment and what the future plans are regarding appointments and procedures.  Also, we went to UF Health at the Oaks Mall where I had a lab blood draw and provided a urine sample.  We're dealing with this cancer ordeal arm in arm, loving and supporting each other through it all. I'm praying for complete healing, acknowledging the Lord's supremacy in everything.  Right now it's April 20th, 2026...let's see where the calendar takes us...

Run Club Author Evans Providing Fitness Hope and Workout Information

 I woke up at at little past one this morning.  I had to linger in bed for time to "catch up", but eventually it did and I set out, in the living room, to do some 12 minutes of running-in-place.  The air conditioning in the house was mostly on, but I took some of the "off" time to brew a pot of coffee.  Yesterday I took some time to switch around running-in-place with walking back and forth through the house, using the initial training formula of Slow AF Run Club author Martinus Evans' suggested timed ratios of running to walking at a ratio of one to three, building up to a total of twenty minutes leaving pace out of it...I worked my way up to ten minutes.  Later today my plan is to go a little further with the Slow AF workouts, without going overboard with them...I'm enjoying reading through this funny, helpful book. Melissa earlier gave me a good report on my most recent MRI brain scan.  It's still something I need to be cautious interpreting, since these tests can easily quickly turn toward the worse.  I have to be reasonable about my own medical expectations, especially regarding the detection and growth of cancer in my own brain. Living onward for a multitude of years is something I'd like to be a part of, and being effectively active during that hoped-for span places high on my list of priorities...especially concerning running and walking long distance endurance events.  Completing race events of 5k to half-marathon length, regardless of finishing times, are goals I'd like to attain as 2026 progresses into the spring,summer, and fall months. I've already experienced a severe, seemingly random brain cancer diagnosis bomb dropped on me from last October, with the brain surgery and subsequent chemo and radiation treatment side effects having their own negative effects on my athletic endurance and general fitness level.  Let's see if this morning I can't at least approach the exhortations of Mr. Evans, who believes that factors limiting running and walking distance attainment are more than 90% mental in origin.  I say let's get mental with it all and crush it...

After Parkrun Experrence, I See Need for More Discipline & Consistency in Training

After a poor night's sleep, I got up around five this morning and went, with Melissa driving, down to Depot Park just a few blocks south of dowtown Gainseville to attempt their weekly Parkrun 5k.  Today it was warmer, in the sixties. The "race"...they try to say it isn't a competition...has quite a few people running and walking in it.  The very first Parkrun I ran,in January 2019, had me finishing at 30:00, a speed barrier I wouldn't break until 2023. Yet, with the exception of my summer 2021 open heart surgery and slow recovery until late October, I could easily maintain a light running pace without feeling exhausted.  That was true until early this year...now the simple act of jogging seems a bit too challenging to me.  As a matter of fact, the prospect of performing one and only one lap through the park seems pretty daunting, with me eliminating quickly any notion of going any further.  The people there this morning were very nice and friendly and, when i finished, Melissa praised me for my  effforts and enouraged me heartily.  As for my future with fitness walking and jogging, any progress  I make in it will need to come gradually, and I should be patient and disciplined. Later I exercised at home and walked slowly around the back yard while the resistance burden dragged me down. I can barely cover two inner-perimeter laps before needing to stop.  I felt a sense of regression at the park today, but I know that consistency is the best way to go... 

Gators Out, MRI In, World May or May Not Change

 I was watching the TV-20 evening news yesterday and substitute anchor Robert Bradfield was in Tampa standing outside the sports arena building, where he boasted his expectation that the uf Gators men's team would beat Iowa by 23 points in their Round Two ncaa tourney game.  Turns out uf's season is now over after losing a 73-72 squeaker to the Hawkeyes. Today I have my MRI procedure scheduled at UF Health.  Nothing personally ambitious planned for today..just exercise some and rest. And tend to avoid the television news and commentary, that would be nice.  I stayed in bed until after six, got up and brewed coffee and ran in place on the rug.  Well, I'm not going to change the world substantially by my actions today, just a little bit here and there...

Up Early, Am-Way Presentation, Medical Visit, Later Plans

 Jane came to be one of my sweetheart wife Melissa's good friends in the 1990s.  She always had a sweet and gentle disposition.  One morning Jane invited me to attend a "recruitment" meeting regarding a multi-level marketing project called Am-Way, to which I complied and was shocked by its aggressive nature.  Turns out  that, starting out, I would be on the bottom, under other Am-Way members.  Over time my sales and recruitment efforts would pay off in my gradual elevation and enrichment, and my wealth and reknown had the potential of becoming possibly legendary, like that of "the" Bubba Pratt, the company's star multi-millionaire.  The not-so-subtle dig at those who choose not to engage with Am-Way is that they are hum-drum losers who are missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime...why, I could be off somewhere ice-fishing with my big-shot mentor instead of working shifts on the clock!  Ron, one of my former USPS co-workers who was eventually fired for insubordination, used to even insult me and colleague Rick about our so-called dead-end jobs.  I always believed that being a postal service clerk was an honorable undertaking, and over the years appreciated the respect and esteeem directed my way for consistently showing up and properly performing my duties.   Melissa and I both demurred on Jane's offer, but God blessed our humble little lives just the same...we still enjoyed that trip to Dahlonega, Georgia.  I never was very materialistic about wanting "stuff", and for me spending money was something I felt some caution about avoiding building up too much financial debt. Now it's nearly 3:30 on Wednesday morning, and I have an 11:00 appointment to see my prostate cancer oncologist at UF Health Davis Cancer Pavilion. After brewing some coffee I ran in place for 8 minutes and see myself extending that "run" a while longer.  Well, I still have that horrid Joshua Khan Shadow Magic book and want to read a little bit further into it before I lay it down in disgust.  Protagonist boy Thorn is always fighting and offending people, and the narrative never seems to have any "down" moments for folks to just get together and talk things out.  Let's see, I think I'll post today's article, shut down the computer, and head on back.  Good morning, all...   

Up Early, Exercising, National News

 A day ago I stepped outside into the backyard to check the lunar eclipse's progress.  Turns out the entire sky was overcast, and the entire event was a washout.  I still wrote my blog article and listened to personal development influencer Jim Rohn on YouTube.  Later on Melissa took me down for my chemotherapy infusion.  I read through Chapter 5 in Shadow Magic. I studiously avoided TV updates about the US/Iran missle war.  I didn't start the conflict and have an instinctive aversion to so-called "faiths" that promote violence and whose adherents are only too easy to wear an "offended' pose if someone happens to disagree with their ideology and command structure.  John Cornyn won a close Republican Primary contest for the Texas US Senate seat being contested this year, and Roy Cooper easily won the Democratic nomination for the open North Carolina Senate seat after incumbent Thom Tillis' announced retirement.  I can't vote in either race this November, restricted to my Florida and assigned local districts as registered Republican. If registered Democratic voters actually display some initiative and vote in the general election, they have a chance of flipping those two seats their way, but i'm skeptical.  As for me today, nothing medical is scheduled.  But I'd like to see some progress, at least with little things.  I this were me in 1971 in the 9th grade I guess I'd be assembling my prepared homework for the grueling day ahead.May my eating today reflect an improved sense of judgment...

Keep Quiet, and They Come After You

My lament: 

In the first Godfather movie, Don Vito Corleone refuses to enter the narcotics trade, staying quiet and put.  This only invites his enemy Virgil Solozzo to attempt assassination and start a gangland war.  In the same way I wonder whether calmly going about my postal duties on the job (back in 1998) wouldn't have welcomed harassment and bullying from the folks finding themselves with some floor supervisory authority over me at the time.  I refer here to Henry Lang., Art Green's Lorraine, Menal, Jose and the two Lisas. If I were Tom Petty or Bob Dylan I might add a few pointed lyrics for their great Jammin' Me song. Glad to be finally done with the lot of these bullies: completely useless people on every level  Oh, and near the end there was also Willy, a young, ignorant hyper-macho boo-butt bent on crushing people with his alpha-male persona and cutting, combative tongue.  Bye-bye, creepos.  Nothing wrong with me being reasonable and a good worker, but sometimes a little bluntness and confrontation can work well. Later today I have scheduled an infusion chemotherapy treatment at the Cancer Pavilion...I've reacted well so far to chemo in the past.  No ninth grade nonsense and discouragement today, and I've already done about 3 minutes of home exercise. Looks like the bigshots in state and nat'l government are at it again, trying to roll back my already-confirmed citizenship and voting status.  Leave me the eff alone, fascist jerks...

Now that that's off my chest, I'd like to shift a little into gratitude mode.  Those folks were probably, in their own minds, just doing their best and maybe to them I wasn't quite measuring up to their expectations.  Today I had a chemotherapy infusion session at the UF Health Davis Pavilion.  The techs seemed at first unable to find a stick in my arm or hand to draw the needed lab blood, but later all went well.  I'm tired after a long day and would like to rest under pleasant temperatures at home in this warmer than seasonable weather.  Tomorrow's hump day Wednesday.  I've concluded already that the Smiths' How Soon is Now is my Song of the month for February and for the year 2026 as well.  It's a profound anthem on asserting myself in the face of my shyness and deep feeling of social alienation: the ultimate Goth/melancholy song!  Go Morrissey, you hit it out of the park.  As for Bad Bunny, sorry but he just comes across to me more like a gangland hoodlum street pimp than a true musical artist with that phony woke demeanor of his.  Maybe someday one of these folks will produce something musically memorable...but maybe not.  As for Super Bowl halftime shows, though, that does it for me.  A close runner-up to How Soon is Now is Zebra's chilling Who's Behind the Door, with Tom Petty's 1987 Jammin' Me Right Behind in third with its relevant, funny and pointed lyrics.  What a rocker... Running-in-place (IPF) updated counter after today: 22 minutes...

26 Miles; Little Context

 I have some more things to write for today's entry.  i', going to practice carefullyyping while working things out longhand on pape. My chief lament is what I see as a deplorable lack of meaningful context to what lies before me...

Dealing With Brain Cancer, ICE, Attitude Toward Trump

Many years ago I used to freely, and quite fluently, quickly type out blog articles using my offline word processing application program found on my desktop computer at home.  Lately, though, the whole process has deteriorated into  a frustrating grind, requiring lengthy revision. I look now at what’s going on with the current president and wonder how bad things will continue toget if i  don’t accord it a considerable amount of benign neglect. After all, he’s sure to step up immigration enforcement but now I'm concerned thar copters won’r soon be hovering over my street, ready to swoop meup into custody or murder me in th process, without proper due legal process or accountability.  Well, with this aggressive brain cancer diagnosis and super-duper oncologist doinglittle-to-no confirmed treatment so far and having no expressed plan, i might even bebetter off just going on about my business while keeping up with appointments and procedures.  And i include my daily exercise mileage in the blog, right?10 miles. Time to be relaxed,quiet and still...

Completed 100th Parkrun with Melissa this Very Chilly Morning

 For Gainesille's New Year's Day Parkrun 5K, the event organizers decided to combine the Depot Park and West End Community Park locations, holding our event at the latter.  For Melissa and me it was to be my 100th overall Parkrun finish (her 16th),and I was determined to show up (with Melissa driving), walk the distance and then write about it.  The people who greeted us there this morning a little past seven were very friendly.  When the timers started it at 7:30, Melissa...who was using walking stiicks pretty skillfully, in my estimation...confidently tackled the convoluted and confusing course with a moderately brisk walk. there were numerous twists and turns there making me suspect that we had lost our way, but toward the end of the 3.1-mile Parkurn I felt I had always been on course, alhough later the total covered distance seemed long, closer to the 3.48 miles figure i read on my Fitbit watch after a preview run last July.  We returned home and I rested. it was rough then looking for warm clothing as I could tell that it would be awfully cold out there...and it was.  Tomorrow morning Depot Park has a new 2026 Parkrun 5K, and I"m looking forward to walking and/or running, slow old geezer that I already imagine myself to be.  Meanwhile, I continue fighting cancer and try telling myself to get up more and exercise...

Walked Nearly All of Today's Depot Parkrun 5K

SHOW UP,

FOLLOW THROUGH

Well, after what I thought was a reasonable night's sleep, Melissa drove us down to Gainesville's pretty Depot Park, located just a few blocks south of downtown.  The sky was overcast, the temperature was a tolerable 63 degrees, but the humidity was very muggy at 99%. Before today's "race" started I told Melissa that I was going to try to walk the 4-lap, 3.-mile course as fast as I could.  But once it was ongoing, it didn't take long for most of the Parkrun participants to walk easily ahead of me.  Even the more casual runners seemed much more physically fit than me, so before long I had to reassess my goals for today, which came down to simply crossing the finish line. For a substantial portion of the fourth and final lap, I broke into a casual, light run  That I did, with a personally timed finish of 54:26.  Click HERE to view the posted results, which I think the timers and processors in good faith botched to my disadvantage.  The New Year's Day morning Parkurn 5K will be a combination of Gainesville's two Parkruns.  West End Community Park will host this one, temporarily skipping Depot Park for this special event.  As for me, I am beyond being bound to a competitive spirit that involves me comparing myself to others...I no longer care.  I just want become more fit, and I have the means to achieve much of this in the face of potentially distracting and debilitating complicated medical treatment for my stated bummer of a diagnosis.  But today's Parkrun goes down as a  personal success story because I showed up and followed through. This was my 99th Parkrun finish.  To attain Parkun #100, my intention is to go with Melissa to walk their special New Year's Day Parkrun. For the precious two days I had been skipping exercise sessions, but this afternoon and early eveninI willed myself to "rock-run" up to a day's total of 12.5 virtual miles (added to the Parkrun distance) while following Peter's slow-but amazing exploits during the 2022 New York City Marathon.  And now the living room gym is closed for the night as I allow myself to enter rest/sleep mode.  With more activity anticipated for tomorrow, i quote Morgan Freeman from that recent pharmaceutical commercial,;"Time to get busy living"...

Latest Jigsaw Puzzle, Medical Visits, Home Exercise

If you're reading this article after seeing the picture at the top, then you're probably expecting something about the jigsaw puzzle I just finished putting together.  It is a cute picture of five smiling dogs, pretending to be human, outside having a fun picnic, 500 pieces in total.  For days I had the puzzle laid out on a plastic tabletop in the living room, the pieces stubbornly resistant to my eyes and pattern recognition.  I told Melissa of my goal of finishing it this evening, after a discouraging feeling of stagnation in making progress, and she gave me a crucially helpful hint.  So I set about the task and, now you see it!  This happened after coming home from UF Health radiation treatment and a visit with Dr. Koch, my very capable brain surgeon from October 24th.  He encouraged me to be active while listening carefully to my body...very reasonable and wise.  I've also been exercising in the living room, continuing to tally up virtual-equivalent miles, today's total being 9.9 miles.  Today I made use of the YouTube Runner's Digest channel's point-of-view video of the 2024 United Airlines New York City Half-Marathon.  It is inspiring me to check out some more virtual running videos, including some from that young Chinese athlete.  I still want to build up my own running strength and endurance to the point where I feel confident participating in some near-future middle-to long-distance events...   

A Day in My Life Undergoing Treatment

The time this evening has been steadily creeping onward...now it's more than a quarter past nine.  This article is more or less a personal journal entry about my voyage through this day in my life.  I'm currently about halfway through my regimen of chemotherapy and radiation therapy rounds to treat my diagnosed brain cancer.  Once that's though, probably at the end of 2025, there will be a short waiting period before medical testing to determine the treatment plan's effectiveness at stymieing the advancement of this aggressive variety.  After my radiation session this afternoon, we sat with two oncology physicians, who to me seemed more concerned about my reactions, especially to the radiation treatments.  Before the onset of pill-form chemotherapy and radiation appointments on November 17th, I was rather concerned about being able to sustain them all, seeing how adversely Melissa reacted the previous year...especially with her toxic two doses of chemotherapy.  Nevertheless, I used the remaining, somewhat effective brain mechanism I still have that provides will power to discipline myself into rock-running an effectively eleven-mile home living room virtual run while watching Alex's NYC Marathon conclusion filmed in 2022...it worked.  I feel that I have no other real choice than to follow this prescribed program for recovery and health quality and extension.  And doing it with a positive attitude goes hand in hand with that. Worst case scenarios have me leaving this world after a considerably shortened future...or this world leaving me, but I think I have some significantly better outcomes to entertain as realistic possibilities as long as I stay true to the prescribed program.  And that includes regaining the lost endurance I had the previous year when I finished a marathon to my liking and ran several other long-distance races, along with a slew of Parkrun 5Ks.  Why not just see if things don't improve in 2026.  My energy is fine...why not work to enhance it...

Weather and Personal Endurance Level Cast Shadows in this Saturday's Races

As I am writing this, the six o'clock local Gainesville news is about halfway through with weather announcer Bradley Benoit delivering his own version of the local weather, along with the "forecazz" as he likes to pronounce it.  It looks as if this weekend we're in for some stormy, rainy weather.  So regarding the upcoming Tyler's Season of Hope races on the Hawthorne Trail, 15K (9.3 miles) and 5K (3.1 miles) in length, the prospects for a dry race seem pretty dim.  This is a recurring theme for the end of the calendar year when bad weather often comes along to increase my misery index with scheduled races.  Back in Janauary 2025, the Florida Track Club organizers finally delayed by a day holding their touted Mary Andrews Marathon/half marathon race on the eastern end of the Hawthorne Trail.  So once the storms finally abated, I had to deal with very, very cold weather for this unimaginative and undifferentiated, boring there-and-back course.  I'm already dealing with my own problems sustaining running endurance for middle distances with this weight gain and brain cancer ordeal, but I frankly don't want to have to deal with race infrastructure screw-ups like not providing adequate parking...Tyler's Hope is guilty of that in the past years on a couple of counts when they marginalized us in favor of side interests like the 5K kids and "Girls on the Run".  They did mention on their website that during their races the course will remain open until the last finisher crosses the line, but my trust level on this is low...the charity running this, I'm afraid, is into the philosophy of "take the money and run". I still would like a little cooperation...please don't marginalize the Season of Hope entrants!  But I think that Melissa and I are of one mind on this...we're bypassing their event.  Instead, we'll get up early this Saturday and check out the weather and the most likely "forecazz" to come true.  Should all bode well, maybe we'll then pay another visit to Depot Park...

Staying Active Through the Fatigue

 I wrote yesterday about my experience of putting together a late Sunday afternoon 4.8-mile neighborhood walk at a brisk (for me) pace.  But since I wasn't keeping up a four-mph pace throughout it, I wouldn't have come anywhere near surviving the established, required pace in Stephen King's (pseudonym Richard Bachman) 1979 early dystopian novel The Long Walk.  In spite of being a bit slower, I was feeling some fatigue as I went through the course.  I don't want to feel that my level of physical fitness is set in a state of decline, so this morning I did some "rock-running" exercise while listening in on foreign language podcasts...that went well.  Now it's past four in the afternoon and I'm back from radiation therapy, having just eaten "for dinner" an Arby's cheddar and beef classic sandwich along with an apple turnover.  I still feel a lot of energy and could do with some more exercise.  Maybe I'll try the rest of the foreign languages and watch a YouTube Rob Dial episode with Russian subtitles.  We're probably expecting some rainfall in our moderately-drought-stricken area in the coming hours, but that's all right since I'm home for the night.  All thanks and gratitude to the Lord, in whose hands I am always and who carries me each and every day.  And my deep love for my wonderful, dear Melissa...

End-of-Month Commentary

 It's the end of another month, so let me just say that, by default, my "song of November" is Garbage's There's No Future in Optimism...it's probably going to be my song of the year for 2025.  I'm a little disillusioned to discover a dearth in 2025 album releases by musical acts I like.  Maybe things will start to improve in 2026.

With running, November wasn't a very active month for me.  My endurance has diminished due to my recovery from October 24th brain surgery...today's 4.8-mile walk was a case in point.  I'm a lot slower in Parkruns, and often feel that it's an accomplishment to just get through the 3.1-mile course.   I still think that in spite of my medical circumstances I gave it the college try.  Staying active through the fatigue...that's the brave way to go...

Tried to Make Something of This Sunday Despite Feelings

 After what amounted to a poor night of sleep, I managed to get on with today, Sunday, the last day in November 2025.  Our friend Lisa paid us a wonderful visit and, after some rest, I set out on my neighborhood walk.  While on the course, I decided to slightly extend the distance to 4.8 miles.  It wasn't a speed walk per se, but I gave it an honest effort as brisk exercise, listening to my phone collection of some favorite songs, arranged as if they were tracks on a double album.  The whole walk was an exercise in fatigue, although the outside temperature remained moderate around 79 degrees with a dry 42% humidity.  Melissa has everything set up now to where, as long as I'm carrying my phone with me, she can determine where I am I on a map...that's reassuring for me.  After the walk (and a deliberately light dinner) my heart rate is getting close to dipping below 90, which is the boundary of Zone One.  Now I've eaten enough for myself and would like to settle down for the evening with a cooler home environment.  Tomorrow I'm due to resume chemotherapy in the morning and radiation treatments in the afternoon. I'm skipping the news, which I think is pretty crappy: is our national motto Make America Grim Again? The wise words of Sting ring out: Our so-called leaders speak.  With words they try to jail you.  They subjugate the meek.  But it's the rhetoric of failure.  MY so-called leaders, that OTHERS elected.  I'm grateful that. at least for today, I didn't have to go out and meet any appointments.  But tomorrow presents a completely different picture.  Not fun, but it's life... 

About Parkrun Strategies, What They Say About Themselves and my Retirement Anniversary

Today, Friday November 28th is a day sandwiched between two in which Gainesville is holding its Depot Parkrun 5Ks.  Melissa and I did yesterday's special Thanksgiving event, and we're planning on going back again tomorrow morning.  I usually feel a bit stiff and uncomfortable during the minutes preceding their starts, and if I run the race the first two laps are often grueling.  That's what I felt yesterday, as if I was hauling so much weight with every step that I would soon poop out.  There's a standout, clear explanation for these negative feelings I'm going through.  The weather is usually either too cold or too hot and/or too humid.  But more impactful is the fact that there are too many people attending, and they are really LOUD, TRIBAL (cliquish) and IN MY WAY.  My pre-race priority is to treat it as a running workout and do the 3.1-mile course's four laps, keep true to the pathway and avoid obnoxious (often tribal) people who are liable to interfere with me.  I don't know whether my dear Melissa will walk the event, but I deeply value and appreciate her support.  I don't think anyone else generally going there even remotely understands or cares about the medical predicaments I have been in, either with regard to my prostate cancer from months ago to my currently diagnosed brain cancer, which is now being treated with a six-week regimen of chemotherapy and radiation.  Furthermore, I am NOT upbeat about being expected (by the directors) to act like a cheerleader and perform much clapping pre-race on cue.  Whether Parkrun is a competition or not is problematic and based on the perspective that folks have about it.  Runners are in fact racing each other, as are the walkers, whether they say so or not.  And the posted results rank the finishers in numeric order of finish against each other (by name) while rating their "performances" with percentage numbers implying how they should have done within their gender/age groups: if this isn't COMPETITION then I don't know what is.  Yesterday some 190 attended the Depot Parkrun...way, way too crowded!  I'd much prefer the number to hover around 50. I expect some more insomnia tonight, but maybe if I could just relax...

Since today is the day after Thanksgiving, then had I not retired from 37 years with the United States Postal Service in 2024 when I clocked out of work at ten that evening, I would more likely be starting my retirement tonight after I finished my shift focused on receiving, processing and dispatching registered mail.  I've never felt any regret about retiring when I did, and I am grateful to have absolutely no hassles or concerns about trying to account for what might have been my 2025 medical absences from work had I still been on "active duty" with my official photo identification badge and scan card...