Fresh New Day Lies Ahead, Possibility for new Routines

 I fell asleep on the narrow living room couch last night and woke up around 1 AM, feeling itchy and irritated.  By after three I was procrastinating getting up, but just before four I finally arose, and after running in place on the rug for 8 minutes, here I am on this chilly morning! Yesterday I had a pretty eventless chemotherapy infusion session at the UF Health Davis Cancer Pavilion, taking care now to avoid excessive eating. Spending a lot of money to do Dunin' Donut mobile app order seems to be taken off the table, too. We're expecting some good company to visit  us tomorrow.  I'll see if I can't put in a solid block of reading Khan's monstrosity novel Shadow Magic for today, March 18th.  Maybe all the unlikable characters (and I don't like any of them) will get wiped out and I'll be spared the anxiety of a suspenseful plot development.  Averaging about 20 pages of reading per day should keep me on pace to finish the book by month's end, and that is very possible considering how quickly I tore through the first four Harry Potter books at Books-a-Million 25 years ago.  And how about all those Stephen King/Richard Bachman novels? Of course, I tended to like those stories, and King has always been a master at character development.  Melissa has expressed expectation of me finlly getting my updated voter registration card in the mail today (or soon)...let's see if this can happen without me having to come out of retirement.  Yes, I'm tired of Trump on any level, and may the Iran ordeal settle down.  Our president seems to be content settling into Netanyahu's errand boy role, and the USA might get sucked into an expanded conflict against Hezbollah on "Bibi's" behalf.  Well, let's just see what today will bring: hopefully more and better sleep...

Heated Up Back Yard Offers Walking Training Opportunity

 Now I'm in the middle of mid-afternoon.  Had I still been working for USPS, I'd be returning from my first break to receive registered mail from the first trucks.  But I am retired since November 2024, so none of that figures into my life now.  I just put some flavored decaf coffee to brew, and will soon venture into the backyard...with our rowdy, excitable muttbutt Daisy...to try a couple of slow, timed walking laps.  Speed does not matter here...I'm just dealing with the uncomfortable resistance factors involved in the workout.  Eventually I should be making some fitness progress, but for now it's all a matter of discipline, doing the little things that place me squarely in the discomfort zone as I navigate the weeds and uneven yard surfaces.  My goal for the next few minutes...they're forecasting record high temperatures for this date in Gainesville...is  to complete the two inner-perimeter laps and record the time spent doing them. Well, here goes, wish me luck!  Report: Daisy, in the back of the house with Melissa, didn't show up when I went outside and I did the entire 4 laps in 4:15, unpleasant but it worked for me.  A nice, continuing training session for today!  Now for a bathroom break and rest with some decaf. The local news is set to start soon...usually they start out with the negative stories of people behaving badly.  This is a different kind of blog article in that I often feel a bit spent by this time in the grinding day.  Who knows, I might even read some more of that obnoxious novel that seems to be going nowhere, with no redeeming characters and constant conflict...  

Atttention-Addicted President on the Warpath Again

  I am not at all looking forward to Donald Trump's next year in power as our 47th president.  The man seems to be doing everything he possibly can to degrade life for Americans like me and to lower my country's standing and status in the eyes of the world.  He s addicted to grabbing for headlines; there's always a deliberately outrageous announcement in the works from him. Early in 2025, just as I was about to get on my OPM website at the start of my postal retirement, h e had his henchman Elon Musk, cynically playing the DOGE role, suddenly show up in Washington with chainsaw and an insane maniacal expression as he invaded the OPM,sending out emailed threats to arbitrarily fire thousands of federal employees...I stayed away from there and Musk quickly became the most hated name in my country with widespread protests, Tesla boycotts and vandalism. Well, we'll see exactly what it will take before people begin to elect some polititionsfrom my own party this fall.My full expectation is that he will boastfully sell Ukraine down the river as it struggles to maintain its independent existence against invading Russia...

Recovering from Grave Brain Surgery: Life is Fragile

 No expectations.

I am retired, with a memory of colleagues who passed on soon after they finished their careers...one died while still employed and looking ahead to retirement.  Physically, I am in very good condition and have a lot of cardiovascular endurance.  Unfortunately, I have cancer.  Brain cancer.  And it seems to be terminal.  It wasn't diagnosed until exactly a week ago when Melissa drove me to the UF Health emergency room, where they did the ct-scan on my head that showed the golfball-size tumor.  Without ever going home, I was medically transported to the Shands Neurosurgery building off SW Archer Road.  The brain surgery was performed early Friday afternoon there by Dr. Koch and his able team.  The tumor's analysis confirmed its malignancy and aggressive nature. After experiencing an absolutely unncessary psychologically traumatic night in their intensive care unit under the control of bullying RN Antonio, I was deemed recovered enough to (gratefully) transfer to a "normal" med-surgical floor, where I stayed another night before being discharged yesterday.  I'm at home, now, very well-cared for by my sweet Melissa, and am sitting in the dining room typing on this Google Chromebook.  My plan is to take each day as it comes, speak frankly with love, and enjoy the life I have left coming to me.  It's fragile, way too fragile for my tastes!  So, I'm happy that the Dolphins, Dodgers, Buccaneers and Mississippi Rebels all won...but it would have been okay had they lost.  In my present life, my priority is to maintain myself in a positive mental attitude and to encourage recovery while minimizing my head pain without seeking any chemical dependence.  Peace is a wonderful thing, and I'm grateful that Melissa is here with me providing it..

Self-Imposed Structure and Discipline an Issue So Far in Retirement

I'm writing this a little past 1 PM on a weekday that I normally would be driving to work had I not retired late last year after 37 years.  I'd be in the post office parking lot, no doubt eventually finding a free space somewhere in the disastrous mess that postal management created after they moved all the carriers into the processing plant on SW 34th Street.  Although if still employed I wouldn't be looking forward to being in that fishbowl of a building with all its peepholes and cameras and obnoxious "career" ladder-climbing supervisors trying to act tough, my mind and actions to a significant extent would be free to venture down whatever paths I felt inclined to follow.  The intermittent fasting that led to a heightened level of fitness and athleticism in 2023-24 (and was hinted at as being an "eating disorder" by loved ones) was able to take place under a work routine that saw me free from undue pressure by others to ravenously consume food.  I'd like to return to at least a modified version of that regimen, but I need to respond to the clearly different cues presenting themselves to me during these times of zero job-imposed structure.  For one, my priority is to include Melissa in as many activities that I can...but in the times she doesn't feel like going along I need to continue with my agenda while being sympathetic to her feelings.  People's moods and emotions fluctuate over the course of any day, and so do mine.  Each of them can speak for themselves...but not necessarily for me, although I welcome their input.  It does me little good to listen to podcasts from Rob Dial or Andrew Huberman about instilling self-discipline and structure if I get static for being proactive and showing up.  Being inclusive of others is not at all the same as depending on direction from them. My inclination is to make living simpler in a material sense and to avoid making mountains out of molehills.  Living in the present, or mindfulness, is the opposite of overthinking.  How about some mindfulness...and a little gratitude for the blessings in our lives? As for responsible activity, I think it's better to get little habits going to the point where "good living" just naturally becomes a part of my daily existence, instead of shutting down my life to focus on a specific massive maintenance or clean-up project (directed by someone else). I've learned over the past sixteen months with two tragic family deaths and three different cancer diagnoses that life is indeed fragile and we're all subject to eventual death in this world, and I value the present moments accorded me, aware that I don't know far ahead they will stretch out. I do my share of complaining about the news, but this is the time of my life. No, I'm far from perfect and have a long way to go. But I don't think that I'm being unreasonable to ask for a little consideration and respect when I am earnestly seeking to live in a disciplined and structured manner as I approach my 69th birthday...

Weekly Short Stories: 1999 Science Fiction, Part 13

Here's another installment of my weekly feature whereby I review what I've just read in the realm of short science fiction.  This feature goes far back to the year 1939 as I have been progressing through year-by-year "best of" anthologies in this genre...I seem a little stuck on 1999 as I'm going a bit slowly through the present anthology, Gardner Dozois' The Year's Best Science Fiction, Seventeenth Annual Collection.  Although I'm retired now, I am fortunate (or wise, take your pick) to be able to fill my days with purposeful and meaningful activities and projects while enjoying the company of my family, chiefly my dear wife Melissa.  I used to be more directed toward reading while I was at work during my break periods...probably need to carve out a routine for it out of my current daily schedule.  But I did get through one story this past week, and here are my reactions...

DADDY'S WORLD by Walter Jon Williams

A little boy lives with his parents and little sister in a wondrous, fantasy world where his home is just down the road from strange tall, thin, pointy-headed...but friendly beings called Whirlikins and a kite-shaped person called Mister Jeepers swoops down to greet them when they return.  Jamie is used to their routine, but one day everyone around him temporarily freezes and a strange being inserts himself into his reality, forever changing how he sees his world.  This is a scary story that starts out as idyllic.  It also raises the question of what constitutes one's identity in life, and whether that identity is transferable from one physical body to another...especially if that other body is artificial or virtual.  This was a very thought-provoking tale for me...

Next week: more from 1999...

Looking Back after Four Months of Retirement

It's now been four full months since I left my job at the United States Postal Service and began retirement.  Unlike a few of my predecessors, I have never had the slightest urge since then to take up any part-time paid work.  I do not miss in the slightest having to brave the often horrendous daily city traffic as I used to, arrive at my workplace, and then spend hours surrounded by cameras and spy windows trained on the workroom floor (and me) while enduring alpha male supervisors with pecking order complexes.  That said, my main (MDO) supervisor was thoroughly wonderful and I do strongly miss working with her, as well as with the overwhelming majority of rank and file people who have blessed this organization over the years.  As for the actual work I did, I treated it seriously enough to allow myself to get somewhat upset whenever something went wrong on the part of others...which was often enough.  For the most part, I was allowed some autonomy in my work, which I appreciate.  No job I imagine is completely stress-free, and mine was no exception.  Still, I liked the structure of discipline it imposed on my time, although since leaving there I have been replacing it with my own personally fulfilling projects.  Soon after my retirement, a reunion celebration was held at a local Mexican restaurant near my home, but I didn't attend.  I'm glad I didn't, after seeing the posted photos showing who all was there.  Sure, there were many good people, but also a couple of not-so-good as well. Since I retired I have had absolutely no desire to visit the place or know how things are going there.  Absolutely none.  During COVID, I felt that the people running this facility took a dangerously lax approach to the pandemic, and the decision to export our processing to distant Jacksonville only hurt customer service while limiting employee options.  I was also tired of a few clerks over the years obviously being hired on a special fast track into management, given special cushy assignments and the run of the building with little accountability, in contrast to the rest of us who had to wait our turn on a register and often have to wait for years to get a preferred assignment.  But here I am now, on the other side of all that...   

My December 2024 Running, Walking and Swimming Report

It's sometimes difficult, when outside events are imposed on me, to maintain my own set of standards and routines of running, walking...and especially swimming: December 2024 was a case in point. On the 18th I underwent a prostate biopsy, recovery from which involved a temporary withdrawal from at least the running and swimming...at this final date of the month (and year) I have yet to resume the latter.  But for December as a whole, I'm pretty satisfied with my state of progress in the three areas.  I participated in four  races, running in the Season of Hope 15K, and doing the Depot Parkrun 5K three times, speed-walking it once.  This was my first full month of retirement, yet although you might think this would enhance my training, I actually had more control over my activity with my work structure, counter-intuitive as it may seem. Now I need to set up and assert my own routines: it's a process, both for me and for my loved ones.  This self-discipline regarding running, walking and swimming is something that I need to develop and take personal responsibility for...with expected medical procedures in the near future, though, I'll still need to be reasonable about it all.  In January, apart from the weekly Parkrun 5Ks, there will be a marathon/half-marathon event on Sunday the 19th and a 15K on Saturday the 27th.  The degree to which I participate...and train, for that matter, will come down to those factors of self-discipline and my ongoing medical situation.  I'm realistically optimistic about the long-term picture, although circumstances may be limiting in the short-term.  I'm continuing to see walking and swimming take more significant roles in my life, and my recent switch to the nearby YMCA with its much more accessible swimming pool bodes well for the future...

Still Working Out Parameters for Study, Reading and Writing

Following up on last Thursday's article about studying in coffee shops as my retirement is now in its second week, I'm still looking for "The Place" to set up my studying.  Still, so far I've managed to cover my daily goals, mixing reading, studying foreign languages and, of course, writing for this blog.  I'm finding myself usually spreading it all out over the course of the day at home, although here my attention span isn't quite as strong and I'm more likely to be distracted as opposed to be sitting somewhere in a public place.  I've been diligent with the language study, continuing as I earlier stated with taking a few sentences from a specified article and writing each of them down, taking turns in Spanish, German, Russian and Chinese according to the Google translations.  Since unfamiliar Chinese characters can be problematic since their pronunciation isn't readily apparent, I have begun using ChapGPT to provide transliteration of my articles into the Pinyin Romanization writing system, which I print out and use.  Since I am at intermediate "Level B" stages in all four languages, I still have quite a task in front of me with thousands of words in each to internalize before I can more comfortably understand them...and with listening comprehension consistently lagging behind the reading (I also daily listen to radio/podcasts in each of the four).  But more than anything I enjoy the process of learning: it's fun!

Coffee Shop Visits as a Study Routine

As I progress through my first week of retirement, I think I'm starting some good habits to replace those which going to a forty-hours-per-week job automatically imposed on me. Maybe in future articles I'll spell out some of these, but right now I'll discuss one of them.  In my November 19th article a little more than a couple of weeks ago, I wrote about more consistently resuming the old habit I had of going regularly to a coffee shop (or someplace similar) and studying there.  There's something about a public setting that focuses my attention better on my tasks while not placing demands on my attention.  Mental drifting and external distractions not only interrupt my efforts, but they also dilute them when I'm devoting a bigger part of my mental efforts resisting them, and this place helps with that.  I'm writing this article on my old AlphaSmart word processor, completely disconnected from the Internet and which I later loaded onto my blog site. I take Google translations of past articles I've written, and print them out to take with me here.  Then I go phrase-by-phrase with each of them, temporarily memorizing it in each target language and then writing it down.  I cover a small amount of material daily this way but am training myself better to think in the languages I'm studying.  Now on to other activities I do here: reading, speculating and planning...

Quote of the Week...from Fred "Mister" Rogers

Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.       

---Fred Rogers

Fred Rogers (1928-2003) was perhaps better known as the Mister Rogers of the classic, beloved children's TV series Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.  Although the series spanned 31 seasons, I was a little too old to be in its target audience of little children when I began watching it in the early 1970's...yet I was drawn to the sweet spirit and attitude permeating the show, clearly transmitted and demonstrated by its host Fred Rogers.  I was digging around for a quote like the one above because today is my final one at work...I've been at the United States Postal Service for 37 years, all of them at the Gainesville processing plant.  And tomorrow I will be a retiree.  I'm happy to leave, but I'm also happy to have worked there: what a blessing!  And Mister Rogers' above quote speaks volumes with just a few words: it's definitely the beginning of something else in my life with the closing of this other chapter...looking forward to the new adventures!

Returning to My Old Coffee Shop Routine?

Back in the "old days" of when I first moved to Gainesville...namely the period from 1978 to 1985...I tended to spend a lot of time studying in local coffee/donut shops and diners.  I love to learn, although my knowledge is pretty spread out across the academic spectrum...perhaps a little too thinly, I might admit.  But I do like from time to time getting out and sitting in a public setting. I think my greatest progress in foreign language study has been from doing this, but sometimes I just read, speculate, or plan what I'm going to do in the immediate and near future.  Seeing how I'm retiring at the end of next week, it seems that the future is going to be much more conducive for this kind of activity.  Who knows, maybe I'll actually learn something in depth. I had been considering frequenting a couple of places reasonably near to my home...one sells bagels and the other donuts...but alas they both close at 2 pm, so for the mid-afternoon and later it's going to have to be somewhere else.  And of course, there are plenty of "somewhere elses"...

Retirement Affords Me Time for Language Learning

I am looking forward to the time afforded me after my impending retirement, time that I can use to pursue various interests.  Among these is language learning. Although I have studied a number of different languages over the years, I've reached the conclusion that in order to develop a truly adequate comprehension of any of them, I need to learn many thousands more words, which involves extensive reading and listening.  So I've pared down the languages I will be focusing on to three, all of which I've studied to a considerable degree already: Chinese, Russian and Spanish.  With the advent of AI and its usefulness with foreign language study, along with the many apps available...free or with subscription, I think I'm quite ready to make the final push in these three languages to becoming comfortable with them.  But I like the process of learning as well: should be fun...

Quote of the Week...from Bilbo Baggins

I think I'm quite ready for another adventure.          ---Bilbo Baggins 

I'm not sure whether J.R.R. Tolkien's beloved elder hobbit, chief protagonist of his novel The Hobbit and a bit player in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, speaks the above quote in the latter series.  But in the final Lord of the Rings movie, The Return of the King, he utters it as his old friend Gandalf invites him on the boat that will take them to the fabled Grey Havens at the end of the saga.  And like Bilbo, I, too, am ready for another adventure...a string of them, in fact.  But let's start with what is immediately before me.  On Sunday I plan to speed-walk my first half-marathon race...I've run the previous 17 since 2010.  It's the Tom Walker Half-Marathon, which I've run 5 time before, including the last two years.  It runs along the Hawthorne Trail, leaving and returning to Boulware Springs Park off SE 15 Street in Gainesville.  I've been wanting to see how fast I could speed-walk this kind of distance and how my energy level would flow during longer races.  Well, here goes.  As for more adventures, let's just say that I'm looking forward to my retirement which begins after my final scheduled workday on November 29th...

Decision Made to Retire

I've reached a decision that was inevitable in coming: I am going to retire from the USPS, where in September I had worked continuously for 37 years.  With my advancing age (turned 68 earlier this month) and the stark difference, in these times of family medical issues and tragedy, between staying at home and going off to work, I decided that it just isn't any good anymore going out there day after day for long stretches. I am fortunate and blessed to have had a job I generally enjoyed and allowed me to be myself and keep myself intellectually and physically fit, and I know I'll miss my coworkers once I'm gone.  But the time has come, and I'll be going through the process in the weeks ahead.  I have already sent in my paperwork and notified Human Resources as to my last day at work, which is scheduled to be at the end of November...

Not Too Keen on Retiree Reunions

The other day a colleague of mine informed me of a retiree reunion he attended at a local restaurant...it seems that upwards to forty former coworkers were there, and of the names he mentioned most of them I knew to varying degrees, many having been retired from my facility/organization for a number of years.  At first impulse I thought it might have been interesting to see them all and touch base on how they were doing, but then I thought that after those first few moments I'd most likely be itching to get out of there and on my way.  You see, even when I worked with these folks all those years back then...and I mean nothing derogatory or disrespectful about any of them...my inclination was to simply go to work, do my job, and then go home.  Now I wasn't some unfeeling, unthinking robot about my job, and I would practice learning, reading audiobooks and listening to music and talk shows while performing my assignments there...I still do all that when circumstances permit.  I got along with most of my fellow workers and, hopefully, they generally maintain positive thoughts about me as well.  But I am not into people per se, and being in crowds of them just won't do.  So when I eventually retiree, save the invitations: I'm not going, no matter how good the food is...

Quote of the Week...from George W. Bush

I want America to be an ownership society, a society where a life of work becomes a retirement of independence.                                                           George W. Bush

An Associated Press article appearing February 2, 2005 on the NBC News website gives the above quote of then-sitting president George W. Bush, who was promoting changes in the Social Security law to allow for people to opt for personal retirement savings accounts.  Later in the article Bush...when he was Texas governor...was also quoted as saying "Ownership in our society should not be an exclusive club...Everyone should be part owner in the American dream".  Taken together these two quotes reveal a lot about the philosophy of our former president...a philosophy that appeals to me while scaring others...

There's a lot of rumbling going on in Washington about Social Security becoming insolvent in a few years as the Baby Boomer generation settles into retirement.  I think it's a good idea for Americans to think ahead years before their retirement, the earlier the better, and invest more of their earnings into retirement investment accounts that...even accounting for periods of recession...will yield in the end far more than the Social Security check they will receive from the government.  I hope that Social Security will always be there for those who need it, but perhaps it may not look the same in a few years...hopefully the two major political parties will somehow be able to work out a reasonable solution without demagoguing the issue while their eyes are on the next election as they usually do. A lot of the "99%" have an instinctive aversion to capitalism and look down on investing in stocks and mutual funds for their retirement, yet they seem to fail to understand that the hated "1%" invests and invests and invests...

In a more general sense I also agree with Bush's emphasis for people to feel a sense of ownership about their lives.  If you're parents then you will want each of your children to feel a special responsibility about their individual contributions to the home upkeep through regular chores...this fosters a sense of "ownership" that in future years will transfer to the workplace.  And in that workplace...speaking solely from my own personal experiences in different jobs...managers would be well advised in team settings to give specific, regular assignments to each worker instead of throwing them all together into a common rotation pool...the latter is almost always certain to bring down performance while the former gives each employee that crucial sense of ownership over their responsibilities, for which they know they will be held accountable.  If this sounds overly obvious to you, let me just say that there are others who just don't get this example of plain common sense...