Tried to Make Something of This Sunday Despite Feelings

 After what amounted to a poor night of sleep, I managed to get on with today, Sunday, the last day in November 2025.  Our friend Lisa paid us a wonderful visit and, after some rest, I set out on my neighborhood walk.  While on the course, I decided to slightly extend the distance to 4.8 miles.  It wasn't a speed walk per se, but I gave it an honest effort as brisk exercise, listening to my phone collection of some favorite songs, arranged as if they were tracks on a double album.  The whole walk was an exercise in fatigue, although the outside temperature remained moderate around 79 degrees with a dry 42% humidity.  Melissa has everything set up now to where, as long as I'm carrying my phone with me, she can determine where I am I on a map...that's reassuring for me.  After the walk (and a deliberately light dinner) my heart rate is getting close to dipping below 90, which is the boundary of Zone One.  Now I've eaten enough for myself and would like to settle down for the evening with a cooler home environment.  Tomorrow I'm due to resume chemotherapy in the morning and radiation treatments in the afternoon. I'm skipping the news, which I think is pretty crappy: is our national motto Make America Grim Again? The wise words of Sting ring out: Our so-called leaders speak.  With words they try to jail you.  They subjugate the meek.  But it's the rhetoric of failure.  MY so-called leaders, that OTHERS elected.  I'm grateful that. at least for today, I didn't have to go out and meet any appointments.  But tomorrow presents a completely different picture.  Not fun, but it's life... 

Time Takes on Urgency During Aging

As I age, now into retirement for seven-plus months, my changing perception of the passage of time is causing me to reevaluate how best to spend it.  For one, with me it no longer seems that the future is as vast and wide open as it was during my youth...that's being pretty realistic, I think.  You can be pretty healthy...even athletic in your "golden" years, as Paul, an acquaintance in his 80's, demonstrated, and then quickly succumb to an aggressive cancer, organ failure or other ailment.  After my open-heart surgery four years ago, I recovered to the level of being once again able to do Parkrun 5Ks.  On one such run the following year, Paul and I found ourselves running side-by-side, and he revealed he had run many marathons in his past. He seemed very fit and at the close of our little talk, he then sped off and finished the 5K well ahead of me.  I hadn't seen Paul in a long time and just recently discovered that he had died this past February from pancreatic cancer.  Very sad, but that's a common part of being a senior: you're going along just fine, with what seems like an open future stretching out before you...and then, poof!, just like that, you're gone.  Well, that's one rapidly shifting perception of time that's recently affected me.  The other is my increased sensitivity to how, with each new day, I have things I want to do and how so-called "urgencies" that crop up tend to crowd them out, making me feel selfish and guilty should I assert myself and carve out my own time for them.  This also has to do with my sense that I don't have forever in this world to pursue my own interests and goals in spite of how well I physically feel or what encouraging words my doctors say...I'm developing my own personal sense of urgency regarding these things...

Check Facts Before Going Off on Conspiracy Theories

A couple of people, whose identities I would rather protect but can say that I care for both of them, recently lowered a bomb of a news story on me.  In it apparently our own state government has a special agenda for persecuting and even eliminating their identity group, based on two news stories, one about paramedics and the other a piece of legislation signed into law a few days ago.  Upon hearing their narrative, I expressed empathy with them and outrage as to what was going on.  Then, later on in the day I got on my computer and investigated both stories, which these two had tied together into a sort of conspiracy.  The stories were completely unrelated, with the event about the emergency medical services having taken place long ago back in 2012, and in a distant state, just to begin with...along with other mitigating factors.  As for the bill in question, I read its official summary in detail and concluded that my friends' fears were completely unfounded...albeit with a possible hidden reason for their group's underlying concern that they probably didn't want out in the open.  Let me just say that all of this drama and rushing to judgment with sinister conspiracy theories doesn't just afflict right-wingers like MyLumpyPillow boss Mike Lindell...anyone can go bananas over absolutely nothing if that's what they feel led to do and are too lazy to perform just a little honest fact-checking and refuse to allow for the possibility that their initial hunch was wrong...

Happy Thanksgiving Day to All

In the midst of a stormy time such as this, with the coronavirus pandemic causing so much death, suffering, worry and disruption among us here in America and in the world at large, as well as the seemingly polarized political divisions within our nation, it might seem a little unrealistic to take this day to express our gratitude for the blessings we have.  But it's precisely in such times of turmoil and despair that such an act is most needed to keep us grounded in our faith and values and to be able to continue walking down the straight and narrow path that will lead us through all the difficulties.  I am blessed and thankful for my wonderful wife Melissa as well as our two grown children Will and Rebecca, my sister Anita and her family, my extended relatives, my fantastic job with my amazing coworkers past and present, my church with its compassionate and caring congregation and leadership, my neighbors, and my old school classmates...what a blessing to see so many of them still around and enjoying the best of life!  With my gratitude for the good things in my life I extend it to a sense of hope that the future will contain many more things for which I can give thanks...including the multiple effective vaccines that have been recently developed to eliminate this pestilence from humanity.  So with gratitude comes hope, and a confidence that a much greater hand than we possess is shaping our destinies according to his purposes...

A Great Information Chasm Cuts Right Through My Life

At age 64 I belong to the historically unique group of people who have one foot of their lives squarely within the digital era and one foot squarely outside it...right now there are a lot of us, but like the almost extinct group of folks who experienced World War II, there will be a time when we're all gone and everyone alive will have the span of their chronological lives covered by computer technology and the Internet.  How does my life in this respect differ from my younger friends and the generations preceding me?  Let me explain about this great information chasm...

A few days ago I subscribed to an online service displaying old newspapers from years gone by, as they appeared in print.  Among these papers was the local Ft. Lauderdale rag, and it covered the years I went to school there and a few thereafter.  Just browsing through them I would occasionally see a picture or article with a familiar name from school...one who made repeat appearances was Jim, whom I knew very well for 11 years from the 2nd through 12th grades as we were in the same year in school and grew up living close to each other.  I already knew he had tragically passed away from complications relating to cancer in 1998 and that he had developed a penchant and talent for poetry in his adult life.  On the tribute website for him was mention of a book containing some of his poems.  I went to Amazon and Google and there is not a trace of its title and very little if anything about this remarkable man.  Yet he only left this Earth 22 years ago, but it might as well have been 220 since his work was largely done before mass digitalization revolutionized communications.  Contrast that with this blog of mine, a daily journal of general interests begun in 2007: you can easily find it on a Google search, but only because it's on this side of the great digital divide.  And that's what I'm discovering with my perusals of the old newspapers: these people I went to school with and closely knew...some in friendship and regrettably some in enmity...seemed to have suddenly just fallen off the planet.  The advent of Facebook did perform a service in that several "resurfaced" from the anonymity that assimilation into the masses and the march of the years had placed them under, and I respectfully recognize that probably many people wish to remain there.  Ol' Jimbo, I'm confident, would have loved the opportunities that social media gives us today to reconnect...but the information chasm has now left his significant voice largely and sadly on the other side...

People in my generation, like me, can develop an ongoing digital history of ourselves but it only naturally extends to the edges of the advent of digitalization...to go beyond further back in time requires special efforts such as digitalization of old pictures and, in my case, taking advantage of old newspapers online and blogging while recounting old memories.  Life is now openly being reported and recorded on a daily basis...and it all remains in the great digital cloud...while life before this era, as it retreats further and further into the past, becomes exponentially more of a mystery shrouded in uncertainty with its evidence stored away in boxes in dusty rooms.  I wonder whether at some point, probably later this century, people will look back at the transformation of the 20th into the 21st century as a kind of cliff beyond which information drastically drops off.  Maybe today is the time to try to salvage some of it while some of us who were there can remember it.  I like the successful efforts to digitalize old music recorded before CDs, but with literature we're way, way behind on reaching the same level of progress.  I wonder if anyone knows where I can get a copy of Arrival: One or Only?...