Slowness in Fitness Recovery Tied In with Cancer Prognosis Uncertainty

My path to return to my previous level of cardiovascular fitness, as evidenced by my participation and finishing times in a number of long-distance races, has recently been slow, irregular and halting...causing some discouragement.  On Depot parkrun 5K Saturday mornings, I gradually increased my number of laps finished and, on April 25th, managed to walk the whole course.  But I only got through a single lap of their last race, feeling a bit too tired to go the whole distance on that one.  A couple of hours ago today I walked...at a reasonable pace...around my own neighborhood block.  On the backstretch homeward I would deliberately start some very brief, slow jogging.  This helped me gain some confidence about running.  Sometime around sunset today I'd like to try some slow running across our back yard, and see how long i can manage the effort.  i realize that i am being daily reminded of my medical status, and that the struggle to make progress...or even overcome...treatments for this unfortunate brain cancer condition is fraught with concerns about their effectiveness, and possible side effects.  I know that it's probably a good idea to be bold with my athletic training, and one of these weeks I'm going to let go at a Parkrun event and try running for as long as I am able to manage it...maybe this coming Saturday will work that way: if I tire out too quickly, I should be able to hobble over to Melissa and the car.  I don't like this cancer role in life i've been consigned to for a while.  I do know that my life...and my eventual passing through and beyond it...are in my Lord's loving and powerful arms...He brought me in and He's carrying me through it all!  I'd still like to be able to frame my own Earthly future in terms of relations with Melissa, family and friends, and athletic and intellectual pursuits.  And I'm still interested in what's going on in the world!  I can't properly boast about tomorrow(read the Book of James Chapter 4), or about the future in a personal, worldly sense...only God has the power to determine it all.  So instead, to the degree that uncertainty still maintains a vital role on this Earth,,.  I'll hedge my comments about the future with 'if the Lord tarries", recognizing that His timing is the correct timing...

Considering Fitness and Brain Cancer this Very Early Morning

 Praise the Lord and Melissa, since last October when she insisted I go to tht NW 39th Avenue UF Health emergency roombecause of headaches and incoherent behavior, resulting in emergency extensive brain surgery leading to an aggressive brain cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy and radiation. I've been enthusiastic and prompt about accepting my oncologists' prescribed treatment plans. T o be sure, there have been some side effects from all this, including a lowered level o cardiovascular physical fitness that has limited my endurance in general life, especially with regard to Saturday morning Parkrun 5K events. Last Saturday morning I finished walking my first full 5k since January 10th, and This coming event, come rain or shine, promises to be another successful finish.  I like to keep an optimistic perspective on my health and fitness...yet I feel that a  bomb was randomly dropped on me just to thoroughly disrupt my life and hopes for a future self,alive and thriving on this Earth at my ageof 69.  I've heard from doctors and a nurse practitioner doleful predictions of just a few months more life expectancy for myself due to past rapidly growing gbm malignant tumors...will they start up again, escalating to another crisis?  This spring and summer, if I am assiduous in my training and careful about hydration and recovery, promises me a lot of progress with running strength and walking power and endurance, enough to successfully handle upcoming long distance races... including those run by the Florida Track Club, not just the Parkrun organization.  I know that, going through the tragedy of my son Will's passing in 2024, i was then in sound physical shape if you account for my cancer alarms starting to go off.  I know that glioblastoma can come back, and my UF Health physicians need some close consulting in case they decide to embark on a path of further treatments, which could well entail more surgery.. the idea is to fight this scourge and not just survive, but to thrive.  Well, it looks like the back yard is calling me out to run like Martinus Evans.  Gradually  building back up my time spent running (slowly) sounds like a good idea...This morning I arose between 3:30 and 4, and I ran-in-place in the living room for some 16 minutes...then I brewed some coffee and wrote this.  Look like I'll be returning to theback of the house soon, agitating my sweet Peewee Daisy in the process...

Walked Three Difficult Depot Parkrun Laps This Morning

 This morning was another installment of the DepotParkrun 5K odyssey that Melissa and I have been undergoing here in Gainesville in recent weeks.  Getting through the entire event was something I knew would be quite challenging.  I wanted to complete the four laps required to get my wristband scanned and my finishing time read and posted online.  Only thing is that in order to accomplish this, I needed to complete the four prescribed laps, either through walking or running.  In previous recent Parkruns, a completed event has been very elusive for me because I have tended to tire out too quickly to finish.  Today I started out all right, but felt crowded out by other, more pushy contestants...they wouldn't leave me alone!  And then some stern-expressioned dude comes up right behind me and Melissa and introduces himself as "my"tail walker! I think his idea was that I stood out as an impaired, incompetent walker, whom he was babysitting...that didn't hit it with me!  I managed to struggle through three laps (2.3 miles), and although I felt it (barely) possible for me to walk that last one, I let it ride after three laps and got into the car.  Maybe I'll swing the whole course next week, after today's particularly annoying Parkrun. I wondered if the others creeping on past me would ever let me go in peace, instead of inflicting themselves and their children on my presence and threatening to knock me down in the process. It seemed that although I deliberately held back on my walk today, I was constantly being approached and passed throughout the course...very irritating, and scary because I dared never to veer at all in any direction! I did get some exercise from the Parkrun experience...maybe things will turn out well next week.  In all, I did the three walking laps in exactly one hour, and Melissa helped me a lot by providing some electrolyte hydration after each completed lap.  My intention is to enjoy the outdoors for a little while this afternoon, inserting some backyard walking and/or light jogging into the mix, which I plan to keep short for the unseasonably hot weather.  Later on I'll check my Facebook to see if one of the Parkrun folks got a pic of me in that race...my suspicion is that they're deliberately shunning me. I'm still getting the chemo treatment for my brain cancer that was identified last October...let's see how the Lord gets me through it all...He's in complete control...  

Warm-to Hot Saturday Afternoon with Additional Backyard Exercise

 Now that it is mid-afternoon, 80+ degrees outside, I'd like to report that after Melissa so lovingly and graciously drove me out to Depot Park, just a few blocks south of downtown Gainesville, I walked one solid lap during that Parkrun 5K before returning to the car.  Early on, E,J., one of their volunteer parkwalkers, got a nice, friendly conversation going with me.  We talked about the birds at the park and their beautiful and sometimes funny songs.  I brought up the fact that before my brain cancer diagnosis and surgery late last year, I had achieved a pretty fast speed-walking pace for Parkruns.  Now, I said, I can't even keep up with 80+-year-old visually-impaired Jon, whose walking pace seems nearly effortless as he seems to float along the path.  Next weekend I'd like to try the same course and extend my walk, hopefully for the full 5K distance.  Now I just came in from our back yard, immersed in the afternoon sunny heat, where I walked its inner perimeter for six minutes while our dog Peewee enthusiastically ran with me...it was pretty tiring! during this effort I listened in on Sufjan Steven's opening segment to his album-concluding track Impossible Soul. That 25-minute song now stands as my "Song of the Month" for March 2026 although it is now 16 years old. Now I'm sipping on some recently brewed coffee typing this after the close of my Saturday home exercise.  i plan to relax and watch some TV, maybe looking a bit at Khan's Shadow Magic novel...maybe not.  Let's all enjoy the rest of today and be thankful for the wonderful things we've been blessed with. Happy new spring season...