When They're Not Playing the Gators...

I am rooting for the home team University of Florida Gators once again this year in football. I hope they go far with their very talented junior quarterback John Brantley. But within their same division is another school for which I feel a great amount of sympathy: the Tennessee Volunteers.

Last year, with The Twerp and his father coaching their team (for what turned out to be their ONE year of coaching the team), the Vols floundered amid losses and controversy regarding said Twerp's repeated verbal gaffes. Only I don't think HE ever thought they were gaffes. Many of them were directed at instigating hostility between Tennessee and Florida, and to that extent he was successful. Under Tennessee's previous coach Phillip Fulmer, who is a soft-spoken, dignified, and respectful man, I had grown to admire their program. Visiting Knoxville on occasion and seeing how much I liked it there didn't hurt, either.

Well, now The Twerp and his father have gone back to their old school, Southern Cal, to coach and possibly serve as scapegoats for that school's severe punishment for recent severe NCAA violations. The nature of his sudden abandonment of UT after he had pledged to build the program back up as a national contender left many Volunteer fans feeling deservedly betrayed. But they ended up with a better man after it was all over. Tennessee's new coach is Derek Dooley, a man who more accurately reflects their tradition of leaders like Coach Fulmer. I'm back on board with them, but not when they're playing the Gators!

Incidentally, in case you didn't know it, The Twerp also goes by the name of "Lane Kiffin".

Blog in a Lull

It looks like I've entered a period of time in which I am not keeping up with this blog as I would like. I'm sure this is only temporary; before you know it, I'll be churning out article after incredibly important article! But for now, I am at a loss for words.

Actually, there are a lot of topics I have lined up to explore. I just haven't found the time to explore them.

Give Skateboarders a Break

I recently bought a copy of the skateboarding magazine Thrasher after perusing it at the Jacksonville Barnes & Nobles (currently my favorite bookstore). It gives an interesting insight into the culture and mindset surrounding this activity, an insight that is a little disturbing but justified.

Skateboarders tend to be anti-establishment, and for a good reason: they are continually being harassed, even arrested, by local police who use local, state, and even federal laws that severely restrict skateboarding practically everywhere to pick on those whose appearance or lifestyle they don't happen to like. I've said it before: People need to be careful about pushing their own pet legislative agendas through to enactment because this often just increases the power of the police to selectively enforce those laws. According to the article "By the Time I Get to Arizona", appearing in the July 2010 issue of Thrasher, skateboarders entering Arizona for a sanctioned contest were repeatedly intimidated and even arrested by the police there.

In my own state of Florida, it is technically illegal to ride on a skateboard without a license. The federal government has reportedly passed legislation that both absolves property owners of any liability caused by skateboarders injured on their property and prohibits any skateboarding activity on any public property unless specifically authorized for that purpose. Guess what? That pretty much eliminates public streets, sidewalks, and bike paths. So kiss good-bye the idea of anyone legally riding a skateboard as a legitimate means of transportation (I've observed many ride skateboards to get around, and quite skillfully and fast). Unless of course one wants to "flout the law" and ride on anyway, giving our fabled public protectors the right to stop and harass them according to their own whims and prejudices.

I've grown a chip on my shoulder on behalf of skateboarders and I haven't even ridden a skateboard once. But sometimes, late at night I think I can hear that old board of my daughter's softly calling out from the garage, "C'mon, here I am, throw caution to the wind and take me for a spin; you know you want to"!

Running Progress Continues

As I continue to run in the midst of temperatures climbing into the nineties, I am discovering that I am becoming acclimated to the new challenges raised by the heat and humidity. I thank Jeff Galloway's "walk/run" system for much of my progress. I also carry Powerade Zero with me on my runs and chug down a gulp during each walking period. I also generally give myself a day to recuperate from training runs, choosing to either do upper-body workouts, work in the yard, or just take the day off. The results have been very encouraging so far.

On runs of any length, even those of more than 8 miles, I fail to discern any kind of leg or foot pain, something that was always a factor when I trained for the half-marathon earlier this year. My times have also improved to the point where, even with my walking breaks included, I am achieved times on the same level as when I would run straight through the same distance without walking. At this rate, I will be able to try to gradually increase the distance of my training runs, even in the midst of sweltering summer heat. Something that just a few weeks ago I would have thought to be impossible.

Later this year, I am planning to run at least one marathon: in Jacksonville on Sunday, December 19. But if the opportunity avails itself, I'd like to be able to run one or two more before that takes place. This, however, depends on me getting off from work on days which don't seem available right now. Early next year, there are several marathons offered here in Florida. I am definitely planning to run in the LifeSouth Five Points Marathon in February here in Gainesville and might venture in January down to Disney World to participate in their annual exercise in mass mob running. Just to see if I can avoid being trampled!

Right now, at this very moment, I feel confident that I could complete a 26.2 mile marathon. But someone would need to supply air and hotel fare for me to travel up north or out west where the only races are currently being held. Oh, and a little extra time off from work would help, too!

I Go With Holland in World Cup Final

Let me quickly get this in before it's too late.

The World Cup (excuse me, the "FIFA" World Cup, whatever the hell that is) has reached its final game, to be played tomorrow afternoon Eastern Time. The Netherlands and Spain, pre-tournament favorites, are the finalists. And this time there is no clear favorite. My own family is split on whom to root for: my daughter wants Spain and I'm pulling for Holland. I don't think the rest of my family could care less who wins, revealing naturally that they are more in tune with the pulse of American public opinion in general.

It's a lot more fun watching a game when you have people in the same room pulling for opposite sides. A couple of years ago, Rebecca and I did this watching the Super Bowl matchup between Pittsburgh and Arizona (she got the last laugh when the Steelers pulled it out). Last year's wasn't the same, as we both rooted for the New Orleans Saints. And now it's soccer time! [Oops, I mean "FIFA" soccer time]. Truth is, neither of us knows much about either team playing in the final. We made our choices somewhat arbitrarily, but in the thick of the game one's reasons for team allegiance get lost in the fervor anyway.

Hunker-Down Season Upon Us

In an Associated Press article appearing in the Gainesville Sun today, the federal Climate Prediction Center has affirmed predictions of a very active hurricane season this year by reporting on the observed emergence of a La Niña pattern. La Niña, which involves relatively cool waters in the Pacific, tends to spur develop of Atlantic hurricanes without the wind shear that helps to control their number and intensity. The result: seasons like 1995, 2004, and 2005. Add 2010 to that list and "hunker down"!

For Floridians, 2004 and 2005 were monster hurricane seasons. For us in Gainesville, 2004, with its triple threats of hurricanes Charley, Frances, and Jean, were a sign of things to come. Ivan, although not a threat to us, did crash into the Florida panhandle and caused a lot of damage. And 2005, with megastorms Katrina, Rita, and Wilma, only bore that notion out (not to mention that the named storms for that year wore out the traditional alphabet and went all the way to zeta in the Greek alphabet).

This year I predict we may not make it all the way through to "Zeta" or even "Z", but we will have some exciting and even scary times to contend with. Especially come August, September, and October. Not just for Florida, either. And not just for states bordering the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic Ocean. I mean the entire eastern part of the United States.

LeBron James and His Oh-So-Important Decision

So this evening on ESPN, after weeks of unwarranted hype and excessive analysis and speculation, one of the National Basketball Association's all-time talents (and prima donnas), LeBron James, will reveal the team he has decided to bestow his grand presence on. James has been on the Cleveland Cavaliers and led them to great seasons recently, but never has been able to capture the league title. As if he were entitled to it. So the whole buzz around the sports media has been to guess how James will get other teams to assemble a lineup that will accommodate his championship hopes.

I don't know why LeBron James should feel "entitled" to an NBA championship. As talented as he is, James suffers from poor sportsmanship (refusing to congratulate Orlando Magic players after their 2009 playoff victory over his Cavaliers) as well as the bad habit of not giving it his all every time he goes out on the court. Had he put out a consistent effort in Cleveland's losing playoff series this year against the Boston Celtics, I have no doubt that he would have gotten his title shot against the Los Angeles Lakers.

LeBron James will most likely either go to New York or stay in Cleveland. Miami and Chicago have also been mentioned as possible destinations. If he truly does want to be on a championship team, then James needs a supporting cast of players that will help compensate for his own shortcomings (which he probably doesn't even recognize). To that end, Chicago or Miami would be better choices.

Whichever team he chooses, it will be nice to have LeBron James finally out of the sports headlines. My personal choice would be for him to pick the most obscure team, in the most obscure league, and in the most obscure location on the planet!

Enjoying Riding the Hurricane

My recent trip to Hollywood in south Florida gave me the opportunity to reacquaint myself with a pleasurable experience I have been lacking of late: the theme park thrill ride. In this case, the park was Boomer's in Dania and the ride was the Dania Beach Hurricane wooden roller coaster.

Boomer's, strictly speaking, isn't really a theme park; at least it isn't in the class of a Busch Gardens, Sea World, or Universal. As a matter of fact, the Hurricane is the only thrill ride they have. But to me it is enough, comparing favorably with Dollywood's Thunderhead coaster as my favorite wooden roller coaster so far. What I like the most about the Hurricane, besides its length, are the numerous times of "lift" caused by going over hills in the course.

I am still confounded by the fact that the Dania Beach Hurricane is the only roller coaster in the entire south Florida area, including Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and West Palm Beach. For an area that touts itself as a vacationland and depends heavily on tourism, why hasn't a Six Flags been built there? Go figure. But even that is not as confounding as the fact that not many people down there seem interested in riding the one coaster there. I invite Boomer's to relocate here in Gainesville, with the outstanding Dania Beach Hurricane of course. But they'd have to rename it to something appropriate to my home town. How about the "Gainesville Road Work Adventure"?

Interstate, Denny's, South Florida

When I drove to Hollywood from Gainesville last week, I hit the Turnpike for a while. Then I decided to switch over at Orlando to I-95 and "free-way" it the rest of the trip. Although I-95 wasn't all that bad, the drive down Colonial Drive in Orlando was a monumental blunder. Endless sprawl and traffic, even on a Sunday evening---ugh!

I was very relieved to finally reach I-95, the interstate highway running along the Florida peninsula's eastern side to Miami (I-75 runs down the western side). I was tired and hungry as well, so I stopped off at the Denny's restaurant just off the Indiatlantic exit in Brevard County. My experience there was so pleasant, with the service, food, and price, that I ended up going to three other Denny's during my round trip. The first time (at the Indiatlantic exit) I order the (pictured) $4 breakfast. Next, at West Palm Beach, I just got a coffee (that Denny's was my least favorite; the coffee tasted old--like Starbucks always tastes-- but I wasn't in the mood to argue about it). Then, while I was in Hollywood I went out at 2:30 in the morning to the Denny's on University Drive, eating their $4 endless stack of pancakes. Finally, on my way back home I stopped off just south of Fort Myers and had a variation of my first meal, substituting sausage for bacon. I liked the friendly attitude of the people working at these restaurants. Maybe it was Denny's; maybe I was just lucky.

As you read this pretty insignificant article, you may have picked up on the fact that on the return trip I stopped off around Fort Myers. On the WEST side of Florida. Yes, I decided to try I-75 back to Gainesville. Actually, it was the first time I had ever traveled down this stretch of I-75 south of Tampa. And I must say that it was quite a pleasant experience, very different from I-95. No endless sprawl of urban traffic to contend with, even as the route passed by Fort Myers, Sarasota, and Tampa. All of the times during my teenage years in the 70's hearing classmates talking about speeding through Alligator Alley (which runs across the Everglades, specifically the Big Cypress Swamp) made me want to travel it, but I never got around to seeing for myself until just now. Now, in 2010, I saw nothing resembling the 100+ mph daredevils my classmates described. Rather, if anything, the traffic was pretty slow.

Yes, from now on I will be traveling I-75 to and from south Florida.

My Melon Run Experience

Yesterday I ran in the three-mile Melon Run, sponsored by the Florida Track Club and held here in Gainesville in the Westside Park vicinity. I enjoyed some of the run, but much of it was an exercise in futility.

Like every other race I have participated in, I was crowded out by aggressive, usually slower runners in the crowded pack at the race's start (even though I had lined up ahead of them). This cost me precious time as I tried to find openings around these runners, whose pushiness this way makes no sense to me. Most of us have a general sense of how fast we are going to run. The slower runners should understand that they are only creating traffic logjams by pushing to the front at the beginning (much like a slow driver insisting on occupying the left "fast" lane on the Interstate).

I spent the rest of the race catching up with and passing other runners, most of whom I should have been ahead of in the first place. At the very end, some hotshot popular elder runner, whose name bystanders were cheering (while ignoring me) pushed past me to the finish. Other than him, it was a typical pattern of me falling hopelessly behind pushy, slow runners at the race's start and then playing catchup and passing others the rest of the way. I finished with a time of 23:04. I probably would have had a 22:30 time or better had I been allowed to run without interference.

Also, unfortunately, the officially posted times were off, since the Florida Track Club uses an antiquated system that matches times with racing finish order. If there is any glitch along the line, than each runner is given the time of the runner ahead or behind him (or her). I was given the erroneous time of 23:15. They should institute the use of computer-chip timing and ditch the present flawed system.

For this race at least, I decided to wait for the awards ceremony. Bad decision. I had to wait an hour and a half, just standing around with the other runners. I tried to make conversation with some, but for the most part they were tightly corralled into their own private circles of family and friends. I felt almost like an unwelcome stranger, here in my home town of 33 years!

The race's organizers, the Florida Track Club, had an irritating manner of being very warm and encouraging to their select group of "buddies" while displaying a rather strict formality to "outsiders" (like 33-year resident "me"). Equally irritating was during the awards ceremony when the presenter would take great pains to recognize UF professors by calling them "doctor" so-and-so. For crying out loud, we only ran a fun race. Am I expected to kiss up to these people all of the time?

You might think that I am down on the Florida Track Club and Gainesville races. But I just sent the FTC my membership application and one year's dues. Maybe by becoming a part of the picture, I can exert a positive influence on running here in Gainesville, especially towards the aim of eliminating the kind of cliquish behavior I perceive going on. We'll see. In any event, I ran my July public race. I can't wait to resume running in longer events. Events timed by computer chips!

Oh by the way, this time I did carry my little digital camera with me for the race. Not much to show, but hey, it was my first venture into "running tourism"! The blurry picture was due to me trying to photograph while running, not a good idea.

Obama Deserves Respect as Country's President

It has disturbed me seeing how many currently in opposition to President Obama have spewed what is essentially a message of hatred toward this gentle, public-minded man who has consistently conducted himself with a degree of grace and dignity that is truly remarkable. The critics who bother me the most are those who claim that Obama's election was illegitimate, that he either was born outside of the U.S. or that something in the process itself unfairly manipulated people into voting for him.

I had heard the same sort of stuff about George W. Bush, with the notion that he had been able to unfairly manipulate the process to claim two close election victories in 2000 and 2004. And that those who voted for his reelection in 2004 were somehow flimflammed into doing so.

What nonsense. In both 2000 and 2004, both Republicans and Democrats did whatever they could to influence the election outcome, including the intense no-holds-barred legal struggles in Florida following the 2000 election. I remember listening to Air America in 2006, hearing program hosts regularly claiming that Bush stole both the 2000 and 2004 elections.

I always recognized the election results of 2000, 2004, and 2008. When Bush was president, he was MY president as well as president of those who voted for him. And while he pursued a political agenda that I often disagreed with (often very strongly), I felt then and feel now that he understood that he, too, was everyone's president, not just his supporters'. In the same vein I feel that Barack Obama, while pursuing his particular political agenda, also sees himself as the entire country's president.

If only his opponents would just respect him for that and that he is our legitimately elected president, I would be much more willing to listen to their ideas. Hearing some of the anti-Bush venom being pushed back in the Air America days did nothing to predispose me toward their opinions, instead only discrediting them.

Drinking Coffee, Running, and Parking in Davie

While down in Broward County last week, I drove over to the "block" comprising the Nova public schools and Broward {Community} College to do my 2.87 mile run (actually, I had planned to double it this time to 5.74). Pulling into the B{C}C parking lot, once again almost empty, I encountered this time a sign warning me that I needed a decal to park in one of their many neglected spaces. Off in the distance I saw a huge parking garage (it was the building under construction last year when I visited). So now that they have so much more room for parking than they know what to do with, they're going to start clamping down!

No problem, I just drove northward to Nova Drive, where I pulled into a Publix parking lot. After all, even in Gainesville with its insane, nitpicking enforcement of parking, nobody there gets uptight about anyone using Publix parking lots. But no, I looked and there was a sign saying "roam towing" for those who parked there but didn't immediately jump out and patronize the stores. I drove past row after row of empty parking spaces to the far corner of the lot, where I quickly got out and crossed the street to begin my run. Knowing that I might not have a car there when I returned.

So I decided on that first lap that it would be my only lap. The temperature was hot as usual at 90 degrees, but it didn't bother me. Upon returning to the Publix area, I saw a young man walking around the lot with a red shirt on, looking a lot as if he were the one responsible for determining "towable" cars. I slipped into my car and drove off, wondering what had happened to the formerly liberal parking attitude that had made Davie an attractive place to visit as recently as last year.

Oh, did I mention that Nova High School was completely fenced and locked off, included its publicly funded track? No, I didn't.

I won't be returning there to run. But...

West of all this, on Nova Drive near University Drive, is a great place to drink coffee and study: the Havana Coffee Company. I visited there twice, purchasing each time one of their Café Cubano Doble's. Excellent, although I think the next time I go there I will get something a little larger.

Trivia Not Trivial, To Me

Around work, sometimes we get caught up with asking each other trivia questions, just to help pass the time of day. Usually, I'm pretty quick with trivia, seeing how I have had this propensity to pick up "useless" knowledge over the years with unconscious ease. But I have to admit that these trivia games have begun to wear on me.

The reason I remember so much trivia is that it all takes place within context. Musically, I can almost visualize the times and places when and where I heard various songs. Furthermore, I make this connection even when I am just playing them in my head. Songs like Paul Simon's Loves Me Like a Rock, the Beatles' Don't Pass Me By, Harry Chapin's W-O-L-D, Chicago's I've Been Searching For So Long, and Bette Midler's Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy were all tunes going on in my mind while running in my late teens around the Nova/BCC complex in Davie, Florida. Isao Tomita's remarkable 1974 album Snowflakes Are Dancing places me at a place I worked in Miami Shores during the same period. Country and western songs tend to draw me back to my first year at the post office, when the only headset radio I had, a real "cheapie", could only pick up the powerful GC-101 country and western station. Every time I see the stylized "D" on official Detroit Tigers items, it takes me back to a baseball card I had that displayed it when I was about six. And me standing in front of my house on the north side looking at it. Young Frankenstein I first viewed on the Reitz Union lawn at the University of Florida. Find Your Place in the Sun, a 1977 hit by Pablo Cruz, was played before a movie showing in that Reitz Union's theater. I know the video games I have played over the years by when and where I played them (and with whom). And so on. If someone asks me a trivia question touching upon any of these items or a myriad of others, a chain of associations and memories ensues. And that's what I dig the most about trivia, not just getting the answers right.

I tend to cluster my memories together into settings. When I am prompted by one item, the others fall into place as well. So someone at work asking me a trivia question is begging to be bored by my very long, drawn-out response as I explore the significance that the supposedly insignificant trivia carries to me. But I am tired of simply barking out the answers to show what a smartass I am. There is more to it than that for me.

What makes trivia enjoyable to me are those associations and dug-up memories that create a picture of my own personal past. I like to listen to others relate in a personal way like this, but apparently I tend to do it much more intensely than others.

The Independent Huddling Elderly

Clifford Simak, one of my all-time favorite science fiction writers, once wrote a short story titled The Huddling Place. It examined the negative consequences for someone who was able to fashion his own private environment to the point that the outside world was so effectively filtered that it was essentially shut out. It has one of those profound endings that keep creeping into my thoughts from time to time, reminding me of other things going on in my life.

I admit to having been a habitual "huddler": one who can't wait for the moment in the day when privacy rules and others are barred from entry into my life. This has usually occurred at the end of my workday and I am finally home, late at night. The others in my family have all usually gone off to bed by then, and I pretty much have the run of the living room/kitchen all to myself. But then again, the hour or two I enjoy snacking and "surfing" my TV are no longer typical for how I now spend my free time. For late at night after work, I am often mentally fatigued and just need some "alone" time to relax and lighten up. Yet at other times I go out into the world and mix with it with no problem and to my enjoyment.

But I do know some people who, like the main character in Simak's The Huddling Place, at some point in their lives decided to create their own little "private: no trespassing" cocoon of privacy. All outsiders, almost always strangers, become potential intruders to them. Unfortunately, with elderly people possessing this bent who live independently, this can also mean cutting off one's connections with people whom they find themselves needing at times to depend on for their needs.

It's a fact of life: as we age, our physical abilities diminish, often to the point where we can't function without outside help. We can't see or hear as well as before, we can't walk like we did when younger, and our injuries are both more severe and serious, as well as slower to heal. Our ability to react is also slowed, making driving that more difficult, if not impossible. Yes, the expression "independent elderly" could be termed an oxymoron since it is the sad, though unvarnished truth that aging goes hand in hand with increasingly greater dependence on others.

Instead what happens is that some elderly cut themselves so completely off from their neighbors that, when they finally become so desperate in their needs, they become prey to con artists and even violent crime.

Let's face it, we all like our privacy, even the more gregarious of us. But we also need to take care to make some effort to connect with others around us. In a city environment, having someone on our block or in our apartment complex who occasionally checks in on us to see how we're doing is "priceless", as that old worn-out commercial puts it. Beyond that, there are social and religious organizations that are eager to invite the elderly into its halls and help them with transportation or other relevant matters (belief in their creed is usually not required). Of course, nearby family can make a huge difference. And even those relatives living at a distance can help profoundly. But the base of social connections has to be local, and to accomplish this one's "huddling place" needs to have "occasional", not "permanent" status.

What's Most Important?

--Elena Kagan's confirmation hearing in the Senate Judiciary Committee begins with Senator Sessions (R, Alabama) using his opening statement to threaten a Republican filibuster.

--Tropical Storm Alex, a very early start to the Atlantic hurricane season, is hitting land as a Category One hurricane, just south of the U.S./Mexico border.

--Oil continues to gush out of the breach at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, more oil is washing ashore wrecking the environment, and accusing fingers are flying everywhere.

--The war in Afghanistan drags on with a new commanding American general--actually a familiar face, General Petraeus--replacing deposed loose cannon General McChrystal. Depending on whom you're listening to, we're either beating the Taliban or they're taking over, with much of the government clandestinely supporting them. Sounds too much like Vietnam to me.

--The World Cup in soccer is in the quarterfinals stage; how is "your" country doing?

For most of the world's population that pays any attention to news, there is only one news story that counts: the World Cup! The planet could be on the brink of being hit by a large asteroid and Univision would still be interviewing crowds of maniacal soccer fans wearing their country's colors and waving their national flags, jumping up and down and screaming.

Blackberry, Road Travel

I got a Blackberry the other day. It is fun to be able to have access to the Internet wherever I go. I'm thinking of trying out a little experiment with it over the next few days: submit all of my blog articles through Blackberry instead of my home computer. The reason is simple: I will be doing some road travelling into the middle of next week, so my daily "homebody" routine will be temporarily interrupted. Should be a little tedious typing on the little Blackberry keyboard, but otherwise this should be an interesting experience.

Infomercial Nation

Some nights I fall asleep with the television on. Often the channel that is on when I drift off into slumber ends its regular programming and instead broadcasts a series of half-hour-long infomercials. The topics are very wide-ranging, but they all have one thing in common: you can get an edge over everyone else if you buy their product, and at such a steal of a price!

The amazing thing is that these commercial "programs" are often more entertaining than the regular programming. Let's just say that the producers of these spots really know how to get my attention! And that can be rough on me, considering that I usually would be better off sleeping at four in the morning (after all, isn't that why I switched my working hours from the graveyard shift seven years ago?).

Even though many of these infomercials just keep repeating the same tape throughout the presentation, they are often the more interesting. Here are a few of the infomercials that have piqued my interest for various reasons:

Free Money: just go to a website, type in your name, and the government probably will be sending you a check, possibly for thousands of dollars. Perennial infomercial fixture Kevin Trudeau has written a book to this effect and is interviewed by two very attractive, very busty women for the duration of the show (with plenty of camera shots at them). Trudeau's message, regardless whichever of his books he is pitching, is almost always with the accompanied theme that THEY don't want you to know this privileged information he is sharing with you. What a nice guy, to stand up against THEM for you and me (and make a little dough on the side)!

Size Matters...to 88% of women (and the other 12% are lying). So says Dr. Victoria Zdrok, also very attractive and busty, with what sounds like a Russian accent, to the accompaniment of "real opinions" emphatically delivered by various incredibly shallow and self-centered young women affirming this notion. The solution is to buy their product, which will "extend" the happiness of its users.

I've seen infomercial after infomercial extolling the virtues of hard, sweaty exercise workouts, sometimes with DVDs being sold, sometimes with quirky (and sometimes dangerous) looking exercise equipment, and sometimes with both. And then there's the commercial that just says to put on their tight, squeezing, elastic suit around your body (under your clothes, of course) and you'll LOOK as if you've been working out without having to actually do anything. Yeah!

Finally, at least for the scope of this article, there is Brainetics, a program designed by math whiz Michael Byster that contains instruction on math and memory shortcuts. Brainetics, as the infomercial clearly reveals, is marketed to parents of little children with the not-so-subtle implication that (1) it will increase their intelligence and give them the needed competitive academic edge over other children and (2) the current, conventional system of education is hopeless without the aid of a system like Brainetics. The whole infomercial has Byster in front of groups of beaming, enthusiastic little children who instantly shout out the answers to what seem like the most complicated of arithmetic problems. More on Brainetics in a later article.

I haven't begun to touch upon the many other types of infomercials out there; frankly, some of them (like the ones dealing with household cleaning) don't exactly capture my attention. But they all seem to have a common theme. The product being sold is inexpensive, necessary, timely, and not available anywhere else. And if you don't buy their product, you are doomed to failure and unhappiness. Or mediocrity at best.

The Amazing Shrinking Bicycle Path

US 441 is a very important road that effectively divides Gainesville between east and west (although it is, within Gainesville's street grid, West 13th Street). The University of Florida lies on this road, as does Gainesville High School. I live within a mile of it on the north side of town (I always seem to find myself living near 441). And, for the most part, this street is bicycle friendly.

And bicycle friendly it should be, since my local government has invested a lot of money in creating bicycle lanes all across town. US 441 is no exception. As you can see in the top picture, taken on the north side of town near the former site of Dub's (where Tom Petty, former Gainesville High School geek, used to perform in the early 70's with his fledgling rock band). Very wide and accommodating for bicycles, wouldn't you say? This nice pathway continues southbound, all the way to Northwest 23rd Avenue. Then it disappears (unless you have a very, very thin bicycle). The bottom picture, taken by Gainesville High (where Tom Petty attended---hey wait a minute, get out of my blog, Petty), shows this. So just when someone would actually need a bicycle lane to get down on a busy street (and by the high school the sidewalk is often crowded with pedestrians), there is none. Maybe they felt that they couldn't fit one in, with the overall road space possibly too thin there. But there IS a good bike path going northbound along the same stretch. They could at least have fudged just a little and provided SOME space for southbound bicyclists.

You may wonder what the big deal is, anyway, seeing that there is a good concrete sidewalk running along the street in both pictures. But recently a law has been passed here mandating bicyclists to use the designated bike lanes instead of the sidewalks, unless of course there isn't a bike lane. Now I ask, is that a bike lane in front of Gainesville High? Maybe it is, to a cop... who knows. Not that I see the police dishing out tickets wholesale to "violators". But it does give them another pretext to profile, stop, and harass citizens that they might regard as "undesirables".

I don't suppose that very many people are bothered by the amazing shrinking bicycle path. After all, my local rag The Gainesville Sun hasn't printed any protesting editorial letters to this effect. Still, dudes, what would Tom say if he saw this? (Hey Petty, I told you to scram... stop jamming me!)

General McChrystal Has to Go

I don't like seeing anyone losing their job, but General Stanley McChrystal, who has been commanding the American war effort in Afghanistan, needs to go after publicly criticizing his commander-in-chief, President Obama, in a Rolling Stone interview. It is not the duty of a military officer to determine our country's foreign policy. If it ever comes to that, we are all in deep, deep trouble. Presidents Truman and Carter understood this when they sacked MacArthur and Singlaub for their insubordination. And in both cases, the deposed officers were lauded in the press while the presidents were criticized.

Seeing this, and seeing how the Fox News Channel tends to pick up anyone famous who is opposed to Obama, I have two predictions: (1) Within the year after his "retirement", General McChrystal will be hired by Fox as a political or military analyst while constantly being referred to as "General" to give his opinions undisputed credence, and (2) further off in the future, he will run for a statewide senatorial or gubernatorial office as a Republican. There is also an obvious third prediction that is so self-evident that I didn't include it as an "official" prediction: McChrystal will get rich from the upcoming book he will write and from the speaking tours he will be embarking on in the not-so-distant future. The good General who stood up to Obama.

That's the way they do it nowadays.

Typical Summer Weather Pattern

Today I don't have much to say, so I'll resort to an old stand-me-by: the weather. For the past few weeks, we in north central Florida have been experiencing typical summer weather. Lows are in the seventies, highs in the vicinity of 90 (with a few spikes in the mid-90s). It's usually pretty clear in the morning, with those puffy cumulus clouds beginning to proliferate around noon (see picture). Afternoons and evenings are full of "interesting" weather, with the prospect of violent thunderstorms and near-torrential rains always present. The other day in Jacksonville, my family and I went to the Cheesecake Factory restaurant just before noon, with clear skies all around. By the time we walked out, the skies were overcast. And as we left Jaguartown a couple of hours later, severe thunderstorms descending on the area. Passing through Middleburg on the way back was like driving through a lake. Fortunately, we had taken the van instead of the little Pontiac.

The same outlook holds for today as well. So the wise get outdoors in the morning and do what they need to do then. But then again, I noticed that several of my fellow "Gainesvillians" have decided, by jogging and walking in the rain, that it's better to get thoroughly soaked in cooler weather (as much as 25 degrees cooler) than burn up in the dry heat! Maybe they're the wise ones and the rest of us are the fools!