Rob Dial Argues Against Comparing Oneself to Others

On his Mindset Mentor podcast today, personal development coach Rob Dial discussed how people tend to compare themselves...usually unfavorably...to others.  He says we're naturally wired into doing this assessing the relative social positions of ourselves against others, but it's not a good way to live out the day.  Folks like to scroll Facebook and other social media, but they tend to see what others post...which is usually the peak-best of what they are and do...and take it in as how they ordinarily live their lives.  I've seen this with the Canadian brothers' YouTube running channel, in which the two come off sounding awfully elitist about their chosen sport and tend to put down others that they don't see measuring up.  Well, it doesn't ruin my day to watch them, so let it be if that's how they want to present themselves...I'm still feeling fine.  My problem with others is in ordinary public conversation when they...usually it's men...go about, with false modesty, bragging about their own accomplishments and social standing.  I guess their expectation is for me to immediately defer to them as my superiors, but my reaction is usually one of aversion, wanting to put distance between them and me. This Parkrun experience I have habituated myself to partake of weekly is an example of the leaders openly stressing that it is NOT a competition...and then running in it like it IS. Rob Dial says that the only person you should be comparing yourself to is you, and whether or not you're improving over that past version of yourself.  That's how I see Parkruns and other races: how am I getting through the race and does my finishing time meet with the standards I set in past performances?  That's how I get myself looking forward each week to going down there and giving it another go.  For example, this coming Saturday morning I plan to try out the West End Community Parkrun for the third time, running it this time and seeing if I can't beat my initial finishing time there.  In the final analysis, whether I succeed in that is secondary to the main thing, which is showing up in the first place.  In any event, I'm sure there will be some annoying people who will try to make it all a personal contest between us...I say let them do that if that's how they want to limit themselves...

The Fallacy of the Dead-End Job

If you're an advocate of the practice of mindfulness, then you just might not need to read this piece about how some of us put down our own employment status as "dead-end".  I recently heard, second-hand, about a loved one who has expressed that her current job was dead-end, with no real prospects for growth.  It was a striking criticism, for I had gleaned from her previous descriptions of her work life that she enjoyed the relative autonomy that the daily routine granted her.  It's a position that demands some physical fitness and endurance...lots of walking!  I think I might have liked that kind of work were I her age...but I get at least her "old" way of looking at work: it paid the bills, she could get through the work day without being bullied by managers or co-workers and when she left, she was done and free for the rest of the day.  I've always worked for the same things and never rated a job as "dead-end" or depriving me of growth...about which I think she meant "opportunities for promotion".  I worked at the US Postal Service for 37 years and had ample opportunities to seek entry into management.  But I was consistently focused on treating each workday as an opportunity to perform my duties well, and when I clocked out at the end of the shift, I was satisfied and went on to what was next for me.  I totally understand that people have differing ideas about ambition and climbing status ladders in their respective fields of employment...a lot of it has to do with cultural values and family structure, as well as with being around certain more alpha-personality types that promote such outlooks and who may be intent on exerting undue pressure. I've encountered some of these pushy folks whose idea of getting to know me is centered around where I rate according to their scale of respect...and that means how prestigious (or not) is my job title and how much money I make on it.  I don't owe anyone an explanation for my motives in job selection, but any revelation from them that they feel entitled to negatively judge me accordingly quickly and automatically condemns them as unworthy of friendship and respect. Back when I first started working for the USPS, they hired...outside the standard-practice sequence of the register list of candidates according to their exam scores...the son of a current supervisor.  He was arrogant with an entitlement mentality, and performed his assigned tasks sloppily, but escaped discipline because of his connections.  Well, one day he came to work full of the advancement promises that being an Amway member gave him.  With Amway, the important thing is to get people "under you", through which you get a cut of their sales profits.  His idea was that eventually he could live effortlessly through the efforts of those supporting him.  Fine if that works, but his sales pitch to us coworkers was that it was better than this "dead-end job" we were doing.  That aroused some offense from me and a colleague, and the matter was squelched among us.  A couple of years later that dude was fired for outright insubordination...since his "daddy" supervisor had already retired, he was no longer under that umbrella of protection and they were only too eager to get rid of this troublemaker.  So that's where I stand whenever someone starts playing the "it's a dead-end job" hand.  Do whatever you want as long as it's legal and you do no harm to others, but leave me alone if you're going to use that bullshit excuse for an argument...