Back when I was twelve and in the seventh grade in junior high school, I had an assigned afternoon slot on my schedule for math study lab, which I shared with a small number of classmates. One of these, Randy, was a bit of a smart-ass snobby extrovert who would fit into the general depiction of an "alpha male". He was a stout believer in grinning, and seemed to have a problem about me not sharing his outlook, calling me "Smiley" in sarcasm. The idea was to make me feel bad and inferior because I wasn't constantly beaming like him (and other students): I just shook it off with the best of humor that I could muster. In truth, though, it's this insistence in American culture for people to always be smiling with their teeth on grand display that the rest of the world sees as peculiar and worth criticizing. Most folks, it turns out, are like me in that they are much more hesitant to smile, using that expression more in alignment with actual feelings and tending to be more close-mouthed with it. Here, though, it's seen as a sign of social confidence and strength and emphasized much more. I recently saw a YouTube posting in Russian where the host delved into this curious American phenomenon: it was a revelation to me. So all these years I was the normal dude...should have known. I know when I do those weekly Depot Parkruns, there's always a photographer present who gets shots of the participants during the event and then posts them within a day or two on Facebook. Most everyone is grinning from ear to ear at the camera while I usually appear as deep in a frown even though I'm feeling quite happy...that's just me, and I'm guessing that's how the larger part of humanity does it as well...
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All of my life I was told, by friends and strangers alike, to "smile". It always not only made me feel a bit distressed, but also confused as I was feeling quite happy and couldn't figure out what it was that made others think I was disgruntled. Then, in my 50's, I came across a funny little business card that had this printed on it: "I have Bitchy Resting Face Syndrome..." and then some cute line referencing it as a disability. I had never before realised that the issue was nothing more than the way my face sits when I'm relaxed or concentrating or doing just about anything other than laughing out loud. I have tried from time to time to stand in front of a mirror and find an expression that makes me look happy while my mouth remains closed...never could come up with an expression that worked other than a slight improvement when I keep my teeth together. But, as with so many things, the older I get the less I care about such things.
ReplyDeleteI think I must be suffering from BRFS, too. But I've learned to put on a patented open-mouthed grin for photos, if given enough warning.
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