Birthday Celebration Propriety

Someone at work recently celebrated her birthday, and some of her co-workers organized a small celebration with a cake and mini-party. Then they decided to meet after work at a local late-night restaurant to continue the festivities. Everyone was invited to celebrate the fact that this individual had been born. I for one was very glad that she was born and had a birthday to celebrate. But being the obnoxious curmudgeon that I am, I have a problem with certain people being singled out in a social environment for this honor while others are virtually ignored. Does the converse hold here: if some are publicly shown appreciation for having been born, then does it follow that for those so ignored, their lives then don't add up to a hill of beans for these people? That may be the unintended message that is conveyed.

In a family, it would be catastrophic for parents to celebrate one of their children's birthdays while ignoring the other's. Within a circle of tight, close friends, whether or not someone gets the birthday "treatment" can be seen as an indication of their acceptance by the others (unless of course the circle isn't one to celebrate birthdays at all among any of its members).

Now come to place like a school classroom or the workplace. There are also tight social circles here and birthday celebrations abound in these areas. But in my opinion, they should be confined to a more private setting and not imposed on everyone. Especially on those whose own birthdays are clearly ignored by the same ones bestowing special honors on their personal buddies. I understand this and don't feel slighted about having my birthday passed over while another with whom I closely work is doted upon. I am not into the "birthday" thing anyway, at least outside my immediate family. I couldn't care less when anyone else was born. Why can't we all just get together and openly express happiness that we're ALL alive? But I have seen it happen in the past when a colleague, wanting to have her own upcoming birthday remembered after seeing others so recognized, slipped obvious hints around that her birthday should be publicly celebrated as well. She was ignored, her birthday passed by, and this obviously fostered some bad feelings that lingered long thereafter.

The Chinese had traditionally solved this birthday problem by the simple concept of having everyone's birthday offically recognized on the same day, regardless when they were actually born (a tradition probably long gone by now). But in our oh-so-narcissistic Western society, forget it! It's ME-ME-ME-ME!