Words Of Love

Aside from being a terrific 1964 Beatles song (featuring George Harrison) and an “O.K.” Mamas and Papas song, this article’s title concerns a sermon topic I heard today.

In Christianity, one of the most discussed passages in the New Testament lies in James Chapter 3. In this exhortational passage, the reader is encouraged to be careful about how he or she speaks, for “the tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Well, I tend to agree with that, although I must add that, in order for the “evil” tongue to be able to perform its nefarious deeds, there must also be “evil” ears willing to act as accomplices in crime.

One thing that really stood out in this sermon was when the pastor (Max Wilkins of Gainesville’s Family Church) exposed how people will often try to disguise their gossip and backbiting by framing it with the idea that they are expressing their (loving) concern about the “target” and even may be asking for prayer for him (or her). The pastor gave a few suggestions on how a listener confronted with this drivel (my words) could turn the tables on the gossiper and discourage this sort of thing in the future. One was to ask the gossiper how the “target” reacted when they discussed the subject matter with him (or her) face-to-face. Since this discussion most probably never happened, this sort of response puts the gossiper directly on the defensive. Another tactic is to ask the gossiper for the “target’s” phone number in order for the listener to directly discuss the matter with him (or her), of course giving “credit” to the gossiper for having brought the matter to attention.

I have found, in the midst of a political campaign where candidates who most vociferously promote their Christianity also seem to be the ones who are the most vociferously engaging in personal verbal attacks on their opponents, that this lesson of discretion and love regarding the spoken word is lost in the media onslaught. Fortunately, my pastor, to his great credit, has vehemently kept politics out of his message (and out of the church as much as one person could possibly do) and instead is trying to help the congregation to improve their lives by following wise and virtuous principles. He closed the sermon by challenging each person to choose, from a list he provided, one area regarding verbal expression that they can seriously work on improving in during the upcoming week. Here are the choices:

1) Kind Words: Transform worry to joy.
2) Gentle Words: Break through anger.
3) Pleasant Words: Encourage learning.
4) Honest Words: Make us feel loved (different from flattery).
5) Wise Words: Heal broken hearts.

Max Wilkens is a wise pastor who has gone a long way toward restoring my appreciation for those in his calling. Some of his sermons I agree with more than others. This one strikes a special chord with me. Thinking about the consequences of what you say, before you say it, is something that is sorely needed throughout humanity. Maybe, within the Christian community, success in this area may spread from the “grass roots” level within the lay congregations all the way to the national leaders. The national leaders certainly don’t seem to “get it” yet (my opinion, not necessarily the pastor’s). Then again, maybe their Bibles are missing James Chapter 3 (along with the Book of Proverbs).