I'm writing this a little past 1 PM on a weekday that I normally would be driving to work had I not retired late last year after 37 years. I'd be in the post office parking lot, no doubt eventually finding a free space somewhere in the disastrous mess that postal management created after they moved all the carriers into the processing plant on SW 34th Street. Although if still employed I wouldn't be looking forward to being in that fishbowl of a building with all its peepholes and cameras and obnoxious "career" ladder-climbing supervisors trying to act tough, my mind and actions to a significant extent would be free to venture down whatever paths I felt inclined to follow. The intermittent fasting that led to a heightened level of fitness and athleticism in 2023-24 (and was hinted at as being an "eating disorder" by loved ones) was able to take place under a work routine that saw me free from undue pressure by others to ravenously consume food. I'd like to return to at least a modified version of that regimen, but I need to respond to the clearly different cues presenting themselves to me during these times of zero job-imposed structure. For one, my priority is to include Melissa in as many activities that I can...but in the times she doesn't feel like going along I need to continue with my agenda while being sympathetic to her feelings. People's moods and emotions fluctuate over the course of any day, and so do mine. Each of them can speak for themselves...but not necessarily for me, although I welcome their input. It does me little good to listen to podcasts from Rob Dial or Andrew Huberman about instilling self-discipline and structure if I get static for being proactive and showing up. Being inclusive of others is not at all the same as depending on direction from them. My inclination is to make living simpler in a material sense and to avoid making mountains out of molehills. Living in the present, or mindfulness, is the opposite of overthinking. How about some mindfulness...and a little gratitude for the blessings in our lives? As for responsible activity, I think it's better to get little habits going to the point where "good living" just naturally becomes a part of my daily existence, instead of shutting down my life to focus on a specific massive maintenance or clean-up project (directed by someone else). I've learned over the past sixteen months with two tragic family deaths and three different cancer diagnoses that life is indeed fragile and we're all subject to eventual death in this world, and I value the present moments accorded me, aware that I don't know far ahead they will stretch out. I do my share of complaining about the news, but this is the time of my life. No, I'm far from perfect and have a long way to go. But I don't think that I'm being unreasonable to ask for a little consideration and respect when I am earnestly seeking to live in a disciplined and structured manner as I approach my 69th birthday...
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I remember back in the 2nd grade when I was beginning to get a better grasp about the concept of time. I became quite depressed when I realised how long it was going to be before I would be finished with school and set free to lead my own life. But, of course, as soon as I was out of high school I found out that there was always someone else out there demanding that I live my life according to their schedule, whether it be attending college or going out into the workforce. I've been retired for quite a while now, and nearly every day I feel good about the fact that time is my friend now and I can live my life according to my own time clock. I do, indeed, reflect often on just what a blessed life I have. I'm married to a fine man, I live just a short walk from the beach and I want for nothing. That doesn't mean I have a lot of stuff, just the opposite. But I don't desire a lot of things and that is just a quirk of my nature that I feel is a blessing in itself. But when things get a little stressful I try to keep in mind that I'm surely in the top 5% of the wealthiest people in the world...I live in a country where I have ready access to water, shelter, food, an education and nobody out there is trying to bomb me. I don't understand how people can look out at the world and not realise just how lucky they are.
ReplyDeleteThere is indeed so much for me to be grateful for in this life. I don't regret at all retiring when I did last November, never thinking "Gee, I could have been at the post office right now throwing off heavy letter trays and pushing GPC's out to the dock in a rush before I have to quickly set up my registered mail operation before the first evening trucks arrive. No, instead Melissa and I went to our local pool to hang out a bit. I have no compulsion to accumulate "stuff" and would much rather have fewer possessions to clutter up my material existence. Brew some coffee and sit back and read a book, that sounds fine to me.
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