Balancing Competitiveness and Perspective in Running

When I was attending high school and went out for the track team (11th grade, winter/spring of 1973), my conception of sports...and in particular running...was almost exclusively based on beating other athletes.  This was due in large part to the fact that everyone else...including my teachers and coaches...saw it all in the same way, making clear distinctions between the amount of regard and respect they demonstrated to their "star" performers and the rest of the less talented rabble (like me).  So I didn't "letter" that one time I went out for sports in school...yet the experience was transformative in that it opened up the aerobic athletic lifestyle that I maintained...either through running, walking or bicycle riding...pretty much for the past fifty years.  When I was a little kid I was one of the fastest sprinters around...I see this a lot when I'm at Depot Park on Saturday morning and get passed by a little boy or girl who only knows how to run all-out...almost always they quickly tire and I'm soon easily passing them in turn.  I don't run races to beat others, but rather to cover the distance and do it in a reasonable, hopefully progressively faster, time.  Sure, I check age group categories for the races that divide up finishers, but even with these as often as not the trinket awards they say they are going to hand out never get handed out (like with the recent marathon race). And besides, there's only just so much room in my house for "stuff".  No, not only do I not run against others, but it actually irritates me when I'm approaching the finish line and another runner is just ahead of me.  I would rather finish just behind him or her, and I feel it's kind of tacky-looking to pass them right at the very end...yet I would have to actually slow down in order to avoid that...yes, annoying.  A friend has suggested we get together for pickle ball, which sounds good.  Yet while it means virtually nothing to win a pickle ball match (a sport I've never played), competition is also an innate part of it all.  Sometimes it's hard to find a proper balance...