Slogging Through Life Lately

Sometimes life can get to be a real slog, when just getting through the day intact without giving up while maintaining possession of one's mental and emotional faculties represents a triumph. As far as my family is concerned, each of us seems to be in this state to varying degrees, dealing with ongoing difficulties that are specific to each of our personal walks through life. One reason for this is that we tend not to be satisfied with the status quo and "take it easy". Instead, we immerse ourselves in various projects, often with no guarantee of success. And if that eventual success does come, it may be too far down the road to enjoy any immediate satisfaction or even encouragement. In the meantime, pressures and stress can cause anxiety and discouragement.

I have set out on this blog to shield the private, personal lives of my family, so I will just speak for myself. I feel great physically and could even run a marathon right now, but had decided that half-marathons were the way to go with my running. But because of a medically diagnosed congenital anomaly that is symptomless, I have been advised by my doctor to be more cautious with my running. But I know that running doesn't stress me. Still, I feel that others in my family get concerned when they see me go out on long runs. And I know there is opposition there to me running in races, especially a race on the order of a half-marathon. Still, I think that running one more before the marathon season closes in Florida won't hurt me, and I am considering doing this. Just an hour ago I ran seven miles around my neighborhood under very unseasonably warm and humid conditions. No problem.

I have various academic projects that I am engaged in and, in my own personal estimation, am making unsatisfactory progress with (according to my own standards). This are activities I undertake on my own, so self-motivation and discipline are essential to success. But these projects are at least under my personal control, with outside forces playing no major role in hindering my pursuit of them.

And then there is my work environment, existing under a cloud of uncertainty as to what the highest levels of management within my organization will do regarding the consolidation of processing plants and forced employee transfers to other work locations (in the case of Gainesville, either to Jacksonville or Tampa) during the next few months. And whether they will try to change the parameters about retirement eligibility and then force those employees thus deemed eligible into retirement.

Let's just say that, around me in my current life, exists a state of instability and uncertainty that runs contrary to what I want to experience from day to day. I want more control over my circumstances and don't like the feeling that whatever happens, in many different areas, seems like a roll of the dice...