Crashers

No, I'm not referring to those who crash parties or meetings uninvited, nor am I talking about folks with a propensity for automobile accidents or plane crashes. "Crashers", in the context of this article, are people who often express (usually with great passion and forcefulness) various personal goals but, while making a general effort to live up to their own words, will periodically suddenly abandon everything they purportedly stand for and behave in a completely opposite manner. I call this "crashing".

I see this pattern of behavior in others, but for the sake of this article, I'll confine the discussion to myself. Although I tend not to discuss my projects very much with others, I still have good habits I want to instill and bad habits to break.

For example, I want to manage money wisely by setting up budgets, recording financial transactions, saving money, always looking out for sales, and so on. But unfortunately, like many other people, I have a different side to myself, a side full of suppressed "wish lists" of expensive items and experiences that I have built up over my life.

Or take dieting. If I am so "into" a diet that every meal and snack is meticulously recorded and planned, day in and day out, that in itself can create some stress. But once again, a special occasion like a birthday or holiday may create opportunities for a "crash", as well as times of anxiety and negative emotional feelings. Suddenly, I have completely abandoned the diet and am the worse for it.

I could go on with other examples of "crashing". But instead of that, let me examine the phenomenon itself.

Crashers tend to rely a lot on reinforcing whatever project they happen to be on by talking almost incessantly about it to others, creating a "my way is the only way" scenario that makes it difficult for others to relate in a constructive and realistic way. For me, as I have mentioned before, this is one aspect of the phenomenon that doesn't seem to apply. When the crash finally does come around, the idea of the "now" being preeminently important pushes the project into the background. NOW is when the crasher needs to be relieved of emotional distress. NOW is when the big sale or big temptation is available, and it won't last forever (or so the crasher wants to believe).

I suppose that crashing is something that affects most of us to different degrees. I believe that people sometimes put standards and goals upon themselves that may be too severe and restricting. Instead, people should be less fanatical and more modest in their goal setting, while recognizing that others around them are individuals in their own right with most probably different outlooks on things and who deserve their respect. A change of attitude in these directions would give "crashers" the opportunity to live each day more fully without making them feel so deprived that they have to occasionally throw reason to the wind and suffer the consequences. And by respecting the others around them who may be on a different path, they will receive more open support and encouragement to stick with their goals. Perhaps my problem is that I don't talk ENOUGH with those I know concerning my goals for self-improvement, making their abandonment during a "crash" that much easier.