Social Groups Vs. Solitude

It is a pervasively held belief in our society that it is not good for people to be alone. It seems that, whenever someone commits a terrible crime anywhere, the press goes to great pains to emphasize that the culprit was a loner: being a solitary, reclusive person hence is associated with being a potential menace to society. After all, why would any sane person prefer being alone to being surrounded by people?

I will admit up front that I have a reclusive nature and generally do not enjoy the company of others (close family members excepted). There are different reasons for this, but I will examine one for this article. And that is this: regardless how big the group is or to what purpose it is meant to serve, once a group of people form with a specific identity and authority structure, its members are always never quite “good enough” for that group. They then are manipulated by those aggressive people who seek and obtain leadership positions not only into giving, both in terms of material possessions and time, to the group’s aims, but also come to bear a psychological debt to the group. This leads to a situation whereby they cannot dare to honestly and assertively express their own independently arrived at thoughts within the group without fear of rejection or being ostracized.

If people want to associate with me, let them do so of their own free will and not because we’re both members of the same “group”. I feel a very strong aversion to loud and aggressive people, many of whom I believe are cowards who hide under the cover of a group’s label in order to lord themselves over the “sheep” within that organization. Many people, out of the compulsion to conform and not “rock the boat”, will put up with an incredible amount of manipulation and abuse in a group setting that they would never have done as individuals.

Although I admit that I prefer solitude to social mingling, I have nothing at all against another individual sitting with me and discussing our thoughts on different topics in a friendly and mutually-respectful manner. I believe that this is the conduit to true friendships, not joining up with a group in which most everyone is hiding their true feelings from each other (much as poker players shield their hands from each other’s eyes). No, although I still allow myself to occasionally get sucked into being in some groups, I’d much rather just sit down with my personal projects, or maybe just read a good book! And if anyone around wants to talk with me as a true friend, then that’s A-O-K with me, too!