Quote of the Week...from Bryant McGill

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
                                                                                               ---Bryant McGill

I had never heard of Bryant McGill before I read this quote of his.  He is something of a pop philosopher/motivator who has devoted the recent years to promoting human rights across the world.  He sounds like someone whom I would be interested in following...I understand he's written a few books.  Well, knowing that he seems to be generally esteemed and respected is the main thing for today's purposes.  After all, if someone...say, Adolf Hitler or Pol Pot, had written the above, I don't think I'd be using it!  But then again, I doubt that villains of this ilk would have authored such a quote since neither was terribly interested in hearing what others had to say, being ruthless dictators that they were...

What exactly does it mean to listen to others, anyway?  It's not quite as straightforward as it may seem on the surface, for listening is not really a passive form of behavior.  Listeners are actively communicating interest, directing the flow of the talker's speech, and carefully remembering as much as possible.  Also, sometimes listening is a bit of a tight-rope act when someone is saying things with which you disagree: respect who's talking and, for their sake, honor their viewpoints, but don't compromise your own beliefs...

Of course, there are a few folks who dive directly into their favorite topics of discourse and go on endlessly with their opinions.  With these, who can come across as relentless bores, I think the listener's trick is to catch them off guard and get them talking about themselves...but not about their favorite talking points.  I've seen good listeners in action: they are patient with whom they are conversing, they almost never directly dispute what they are saying while searching for places of affirmation, and display their interest and affection by remembering and recalling the speaker's own personal interests and endeavors...and asking about them and how they are doing.  You might think that good listening is something that introverts might do better than extroverts, but being an introvert myself, I would beg to differ with that assumption: I know I can do much better listening to others than I am currently doing.  You not only need to value people in general, but you also need to want to seek them out proactively and draw out what they think is the most important to them...that sounds like awfully extroverted behavior to me...

I don't think one needs to be like Larry King to be able to effectively listen to others: just keep it simple, ask for clarification when you don't understand what someone says, and try to put to memory what they said.  I know this from personal experience: not from me being a good listener to others, but from others being good listeners to me.  Oh, and it would go a long way to remember people's names, another sticking point with me...