Etiquette of Card and Board Games

Have you ever been in a card or board game where one or more of your opponents is playing with what seems to you like severe intensity? And maybe you feel like suggesting to them that it’s just a game, and why don’t they just go and “get a life”? Or maybe you’re the one playing hard and see others just dilly-dallying around, playing as if they don’t care whether they win or not. And you may regard those players as being rather patronizing to you and may wonder why they’re bothering to play in the first place!

I’ve been on both sides of this rift that commonly occurs in card and board games, be they gin rummy, scrabble, monopoly, or something more “serious” like bridge or chess. I think it’s important that, before starting these games, the players get a feel for everyone else’s level of seriousness so as not to hurt feelings. I wonder how many friendships have been damaged by misunderstandings between players.

When I am playing at a game, if I am “good” at that game and am playing one-on-one against a beginner (especially a child), I will hold back and leave some openings for my opponent to take advantage of. Otherwise, I go all-out to win, without getting carried away with the feeling that I HAVE TO win. It really irritates me to be up against someone who won’t get into the game seriously.

Playing cards or board games can provide a safe setting for folks to sit around and converse about different topics while playing. I like that social function. But attention still should be paid to actually playing the game as well. Five minutes after it’s over, I couldn’t care less who won or loss (and I never bet on games). But, as far as I’m concerned, if you’re not going to play to win, you’re not just missing the point of playing the game: you’re also committing a social offense against your opponent. And for the overcompetitive, they also need to know the difference between playing aggressively and speaking aggressively, if THEY don’t want to offend their opponent. After all, the ultimate goals are to have a good time and enjoy the company of others, aren't they? I say play to win and be gracious about both winning and losing. That shouldn’t be so hard to do!