The Good Lie

Self-improvement guru Anthony Robbins, in one of his old books (the title eludes me), once extolled the value of “lying”. And by that, he meant that there are some ideas that may or may not be true, but acting as if they were true could be beneficial. For example, the notion that “I control my own reality” may be a scientific overreach (putting it mildly). But for the purpose of fighting a sense of helplessness about life and transforming it into a feeling of control and personal responsibility, this “lie” can work. Another “lie” is that it doesn’t matter what happens to me; it’s what I do regarding what happens to me that matters. Of course, all sorts of very crucial things can happen to me (including a meteorite landing on my head), but the gist of this “lie” once again is to put me in the driver’s seat of my own life.

As a matter of fact, any change that I am going to want to make is by necessity predicated on “lies” like these. I may not yet be the person that I want to change into, but I still need to adopt the mindset and habit patterns of one who has changed.

As I wrote a few days ago in an article on my “discomfort” zones, sometimes it is necessary to allow myself to get into situations about which I am unfamiliar and lacking in confidence. Then, the philosophy of “winging it”, based on another “lie” (do it, and if you don’t know how to do it, act as if you do) kicks in. With the caveat, of course, that I will reach out and accept with humility and gratitude corrective advice from those around me when I “screw up”!

In religious circles, there may be something to this idea of “lies” as well. One type of prayer that helps the one doing the praying to take responsibility for his or her life is the prayer of affirmation. This type of prayer is based on the “lie” that what is being prayed for has already been granted. By doing this, the one who is praying is automatically put into the position of having to analyze the reasonableness of the prayer, as well as possible unintended negative consequences if it really were to come to reality. If what is being sought is truly reasonable, then the act of praying fervently like this can empower the person to work to create the sought-after solution.

A counterargument can be made to the effect that it would be harmful if someone with, say, cancer were simply to invent the lie that it no longer existed. Especially if this caused them to forgo needed medical treatment. I believe that there are some fringe religious groups that actually believe in this type of “healing”. But as long as the one doing the “lying” understands the nature of the “lie” as only a tool for personal empowerment, then instead of passively waiting for things to work out like magic, that person will develop successful strategies and carry them out.