Huckabama Sweeps Iowa

Mikrack Huckabama's recent surge in the polls became manifest when he simultaneously won both the Republican and Democratic caucuses in the soon-to-be-completely ignored state of Iowa yesterday evening. Known as a charismatic speaker with a gift for reaching his listeners on an emotional level, Huckabama is rumored to be a conglomeration of two completely different individuals who will separate by fission before the parties nominate him for President at their conventions, and afterwards will wage a war of words during the general campaign (against himself). After winning the caucuses, Huckabama reportedly said, "I love you, Iowa! Now go away!"

O.K., so that's a lot of nonsense, but so was this abject sham of an "election". True, I wanted the eventual winners, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee and Illinois senator Barack Obama, to be victorious, but their victories weren't accomplished through legitimately-run secret ballot elections. The rules for voter eligibility were almost nonexistent and the wheeling and dealing on the Democratic side by lesser candidates to throw their support behind a leading candidate in the second round was nothing short of absurd! And here I am in Florida, a state chastised by both political parties for holding its legitimate, secret ballot primary too soon (nearly four weeks from now)! And one more item: Iowa and New Hampshire both have to be two of the least ethnically-diverse states in the nation. And for them to have such a disproportionate say in how their parties' nominees for President are selected? Outrageous!