It's the Lines, Stupid

Three years ago, my family and I paid a visit to Disney World for a few days. We stayed at their Coronado Resort and were able to visit most of their parks (although we missed out on Animal Kingdom). The hotel was comfortable, its swimming pool was fantastic (with a fun waterslide), and we had no trouble getting around to and from the parks we visited. Over the span of the stay, we visited Epcot Center, Magic Kingdom, MGM Studios, and Blizzard Beach. Throughout our visits, whenever we went on rides, we thoroughly enjoyed them. The key word in the preceding sentence is whenever. Because, although they had a system whereby one could make appointments for rides to avoid long lines, there were crushingly long lines everywhere, including many of the times that we had made appointments! I remember going (with an appointment) on MGM’s Tower of Terror ride with my son. We both liked it enough to try it again later that day, but had to stand in the regular line for two hours to enjoy our two minute ride! Fortunately, I had a list of items that I was memorizing and my son had brought a pocket video-game player, so we weren’t just standing there like so many others were, staring off vacantly in space. One day, we had gone to Blizzard Beach, which was loaded with very long lines and no “appointment” system. After going on a couple of the rides, storm clouds began brewing and we left the park. But I hadn’t yet experienced their vaunted Summit Plummet extreme waterslide ride, so one morning I got my son up early and we went to Blizzard Beach at its very opening. When it opened, we rushed in, stopping only to put our stuff someplace safe. Then we rushed, as fast and as safely as possible, to Summit Plummet. And we still had to wait in line 15-20 minutes!!

Sometimes I like to watch the Travel Channel when they have shows spotlighting various theme parks. Disney World, of course, is one of the regular features. Apparently, when Disney World was being designed, the flaws experienced earlier in Disneyland over in California were taken in account. Since Disney World’s Magic Kingdom was divided into different areas that had different themes, they didn’t want employees from one area crossing another area in their costumes, messing up the “atmosphere”. So, they built what we experience as Disney World’s Magic Kingdom on top of an entire underground network that connects the entire park without anyone down there ever having to walk on the surface. Thus, a costumed employee in, say, Frontierland could go straight down without crossing other areas. They went to all this trouble in order to make the park look “right”. But to me, I couldn’t care less about that issue. So, to the big shots running Disney World, here’s one tourist’s input: I see one overriding eyesore at your parks: it’s the lines, stupid!!!