Moving On Up

Part of having a happy, meaningful life is making goals for oneself and fulfilling them. Some goals may be personal in nature, with only the person directly involved knowing them, perhaps along with close family members. With other aspirations, though, fulfillment may be expressed in a public environment, with titles or awards bestowed that give the achiever a sense of moving up in a social sense. A prime example of this is someone who graduates from college and can then attach abbreviations like B.A., B.S., M.A., M.S., Ph.D., M.D., etc., to their names. Getting a doctorate in anything entitles them the use of the socially honorific title “doctor” before their names as well. In the workplace, promotions up the hierarchical ladder or organizational flow-chart (or any other model that works for you) produce a similar effect. Sometimes such a person, who gets the feeling of “movin’ on up” (like the characters of George and Louise Jefferson in the 70’s sitcom The Jeffersons), will manifest this change by drastically changing his or her lifestyle to reflect the perceived rise in status. And, unfortunately, that change may also involve dumping friends who are perceived as belonging to the previous “level” (or at least changing the relationship with them to a more condescending tone).

Regrettably, I have experienced this sort of put-down in the past, particularly when I attended high school and during the immediate years thereafter. In school, I was moderately successful, with slightly better than average grades, but not to the point where I was winning special awards or competitions. This cut across both academics and athletics. After they attained greater acceptance and recognition from both teachers and fellow students for their achievements, a small number of my friends began to regard me as an unequal when I was around them. And being pretty sensitive to this sort of thing, I began to avoid them and to no longer regard them as friends. It’s sad that this sort of thing happens, because after graduation and the students disperse and go down their own personal paths through adulthood, often it is the last impressions one has about a fellow student that one holds on to through the many years to follow. I’d like to be an optimist and hope that some maturity and humanity may have filtered down through the years on some of my former friends, and maybe this has happened, who knows.

However, having said that about my own personal grievances, it also bears noting that those in any workplace setting who were formerly equal-status colleagues but now may have a supervisory or managerial position must, at least on the job, change their professional relationship with their colleagues. This is understandably a very touchy thing, since it’s within the nature of the work structure that superiors give orders to subordinates, and each change in the relationships in that regard involves some adjusting and maturity from both ends. That, however, is quite different in nature than the experiences I related from my school years.

But all that aside, I hope that my old buddies (the ones who are still with us, that is) have found the things in life that bring them happiness and meaning. Sure, I feel some resentment about the past, but I also know that sometimes “moving on up” in life entails some “moving on” as well. It’s good to work toward goals that bring rewards and titles. And attaining them is something that is worth sharing with friends and loved ones, whether I’m the one attaining them or the one being shared with. And that is also something that I have personally experienced (and am continuing to experience)!