A Quote from Oprah Winfrey

Part of my cable television package here in Gainesville is Music Choice, which presents several channels each of which provides a different genre, spanning much of the musical spectrum...although it's missing three of my favorites types: zydeco, classic Christian traditional songs and hymns...and that crazy, entrancing Middle Eastern music.  One of my favorite channels from what they do provide is Soundscapes (channel 943), which plays ambient/space music.  Sometimes when there's nothing else I want to watch, I'll put that one on and sit back and relax to the soothing music.  But there's more to this channel: they place on the screen various quotes of wisdom and philosophy from different famous figures, past and present.  Some of these sayings make good sense to me, some I don't exactly understand...and then there are a few that I have a problem with.  Among those that bother me to a degree is an Oprah Winfrey quote, which reads as follows:

Only surround yourself with people that will lift you higher.

I believe I understand the gist of what Oprah was trying to express here: your social environment, especially those with whom you have the most contact, can have a great impact on your attitude, demeanor, and how well you can succeed in your personal goals.  So yes, in a way I agree with this statement...it's good to have positive, encouraging folks in your life, people whose own lives serve as an example that you can imitate and who can influence you in a constructive manner to improve yourself.  No problem with that.  The problem I do have with this quote is the word "only"...

There are all kinds of people around me whom I want to avoid, chief among them being criminals...both blue and white collar types... as well as manipulative drama queen prima donnas (of both sexes), and loud and aggressive people...the Desiderata specifically mentions the latter, stating that they are "vexatious to the spirit".  So no...dishonest, manipulative, loud and aggressive people are not on my list of those with whom I want to become bosom buddies.  But people-at-large are neither typified by those groups nor are they necessarily heroic and uplifting role models that Oprah Winfrey wants to exclusively associate with.  Most folks have their good and bad moments...and almost all have their needs, many of which can be a burden on the ones around them, posing a drain on their emotions and personal agendas.  Maybe Oprah wants to make sure these people don't stand in her way, but I think differently: having some social challenges in your life and learning to deal effectively with them is a form in itself of personal growth and will ultimately make you stronger.  The key is not to cut off negative people from your life: the key is to learn how to interact effectively with them so as not to allow the relationship to become dysfunctional, with yourself as the increasingly resentful victim.  There are ways to deal with anger, conflicts with others, forgiveness, and appropriately asserting oneself.   You're not going to learn these important life skills, however, if you only insist on having people around you who don't anger you, argue with you, or challenge your sense of guilt or self-esteem.  So maybe here we also need to meditate on what really lifts one higher...